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The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread


TheBaronOfFratton

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^Nice one!

Thank you all for your considered answers thus far... Whilst you make fair points about the obvious divinity of Lima - making it, perhaps, an unfair match-up - I believe it is going to be a fair fight with no use of her myriad superpowers. post-11221-0-1446084536-30606_thumb.gif

And on that very point - Ale's knees are razor-sharp, sure, and being Brasilians they might both be adept at Capoeira. But this is a strict boxing bout - Queensbury Rules and all that. No knees allowed!

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post-36478-0-1446084537-92776_thumb.jpg [Monica Mitro says:]

Hi, I'm Monica Mitro and I'm, hum, what's my job designation again? Oh yeah, executive producer of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. Anyways, one of our Angels would like to talk to you, again.

post-36478-0-1446084537-96113_thumb.jpg [Doutzen Kroes says:]

Doutzen got an idea.

Doutzen fake-blonde.

Doutzen European import.

Doutzen cute accent.

Doutzen curvy model amogst skinny bitches.

Doutzen overtly likeable.

Doutzen pregnant before marriage.

Doutzen likey Russell and Russell likey Doutzen.

Doutzen black musician boyfriend.

Doutzen remind you of anyone?

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I think, if you're going to take it that way, Doutzen would probably wipe the floor with all of the current girls. I reckon only the great Tyra herself could stand in her way of a Battle Royale-style smackdown! :weightlift:

As for this bout though, I think my money's on Alessandra. Sure, Adriana's buffer - but Ale's got that steely look in her eyes these days... She wants it. post-11221-0-1446084539-52793_thumb.gif She's a 'lean, mean, fighting-machine' with added guile and determination.

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WOMAN RETURNS FROM MATERNITY LEAVE

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Today, in an unprecedented move, a woman returning from maternity leave - who gave birth a year ago - managed to stand up AND show she still had breasts. In an obscenely-priced bra.

The woman also managed to say her name (although some people didn't think she said it properly), pull some hilarious/massively sexy faces, and divide opinion in a flurry of $2 million's worth of bling.

A stupid onlooker said: "It was like the second-coming of Christ. I didn't know women who had kids could ever stand up again, let alone put on a obscenely-priced bra. I'm at a loss as to which is the more important occasion... Hmmm? Jesus Christ rolling away the stone OR this woman (who gave birth a year ago, lest we forget) managing to stand up AND wear an obscenely-priced bra..? No, I've got it. It's standing up - after having a baby a year ago - AND wearing an obscenely-priced bra!"

Later, everybody who loves women who can stand up AND wear obscenely-priced bras clashed with everybody else. And that other lot were probably accused of being haters...

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ERIN OR LINDSAY: AN IDIOT'S GUIDE

Lately there's been some confusion concerning which of the crapper two blondes is which. Neither is Candice though - so who the fuck cares?

Well, this thread likes to help - so here's a quick-and-easy(-and-spurious) guide to show you:

Exhibit A: Loungewear

v307738.jpgpost-11221-0-1446084541-03373_thumb.jpg

Here it's very easy: Erin's in black - you'll not find Lindsay in black. Apparently it makes her vomit. She's also got her hands in her pockets - that's something Lindsay would just never do to. Lindsay likes to rest her hand on her hip - which she displays to devastating effect here.

Exhibit B: Lingerie

post-11221-0-1446084541-53866_thumb.jpgpost-11221-0-1446084541-88125_thumb.jpg

So, first thing: Lindsay is executing her trademark hip/hand action - which should show you she's definitely in the pink. But, you can also combine this knowledge with Erin's patented head-cradle move - if you needed any further proof that she's in the indigo...

Exhibit C: Sportswear

post-11221-0-1446084542-40595_thumb.jpgpost-11221-0-1446084542-70171_thumb.jpg

With all you've learned this must be piss-easy now, no? Classic 'hip/hand' AND 'head-cradle' actions. Erin in blue, Lindsay in whatever the hell you call that colour? Mauve???

Or was one of those pictures Katsia? Can't really tell...

Bollocks.

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Hello, my name is Jennka and I am a BZholic. A great matter occured to me in last days, I wasn´t able to distinguish Lindsay from Lohan Erin from another hot blonde, but thanks to Baron and his wisdom, I´m now cured and can´t be blamed :yes:

Thank you billion times, Baron! :heart:

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Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: I don't play Erin Or Lindsay

Eric Cartman: Butters, you said that you're on your computer all the time.

Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: Yeah, but I'm playing Stalk My Favorite Model Online!

Eric Cartman: Ugh... Butters, go buy Erin or Lindsay, install it on your computer, and join the online sensation before we all murder you!

Leopold 'Butters' Stotch: O-oh... Al-alright then!

:hehe: :doofywave:

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