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The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread


TheBaronOfFratton

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each year Victorias Secret "angel wings" are getting bigger, more freaky and HEAVIER!

and since they have uber huge celtic harps as "wings" this year...

why not try this for next years show?

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^This shall all come to pass...

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:shock:

:o Oh dear...lol

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FEAR THE VENGEFUL PEACOCK KING!

Oh yes, tonight as the fog and mists descend upon old New York city, a terrible spirit will manifest around the Armory - The Peacock King...

Legend tells that many moons ago, a young Ed Razek built his first Victoria's Secret store upon a peacock burial ground - and this angered the god of the peacocks, the sinister Peacock King! He descended to our plain, and confronted the cocky young man: "What is it to you where I build my budding lingerie empire, oh vain bird?" Razek chided. "BEWARE MERE MORTAL, PURVEYOR OF MID-RANGE LADIES UNDERGARMENTS - FOR IN YEARS HENCE YE SHALL HAVE A, RAPIDLY DESCENDING IN TASTE AND CLASS, FASHION SHOW UPON A U.S. NETWORK TV CHANNEL, AND I SHALL DEMAND PAYMENT FOR THIS SLIGHT", said the King.

Years passed, and Razek went from a swaggering youth to a thoughtful entrepreneur - and soon indeed did he amass enough wealth and power to verily put a fashion show upon the burgeoning internet and, latterly, a U.S. network TV channel just as the terrible King predicted. It was successful and Razek laughed upon a big pile of money, until one year when the fearsome spectre of The Peacock King reappeared to him once more...

"RAZEK, I RETURN - AND I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE... NOW, AND FOR EVERY SHOW HENCE, I WILL DEMAND THAT YOU WORSHIP ME WITH A PEACOCK OUTFIT - AND SACRIFICE ONE OF YOUR MODELS WHO WILL ONLY GET TO APPEAR IN ONE SHOW AND WILL NEVER BE SPOKEN OF AGAIN... THIS YEAR I WILL FEAST UPON INGA SAVITA!"

Razek was stunned - but he quickly put together an outfit to appease the mighty King:

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And the King was happy...

The following year Ed forgot his promise - and The Peacock King wreaked TERRIBLE retribution... And took all the other models, except the "Angels", that Ed had drafted and gobbled them all up. So, there was no show - but Ed had learnt his lesson in the harshest manner.

From then on Ed knew it was wise to keep the King happy and sent models down the runway in homage and deference to the lord of the peacocks:

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And he sacrificed the odd model like Katja Shceckina (despite her wonderful arse) and Katie Wile (although technically that was cheating!) never to be heard of again...

But this year The Peacock King is hungry - and he demands a ridiculous costume, a model-sacrifice, AND a song to keep him sated. Ed hurried to put together a costume - but time was not on his side and it looked really stupid:

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And the song wasn't much better:

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock, cock

Your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock, cock

Your peacock, cock, cock

Your peacock

So maybe dressing up as a peacock will help Katy Perry's survival rating?

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And who, pray tell, will the King feast upon after the show? Could be anyone. But be wary tonight, should you hear the cawing of THE PEACOCK KING...

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MU HA HA HA!!!

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post-36478-0-1446084577-42387_thumb.jpg [Chanel Iman says:]

Sorry guys, took me time to sober up from all those bubbles (Cha loves some bubbles!) and I also had to call everybody in my f*@king i-Phone but... SUCK IT ADRIANA! I'm the one who got TWO f¤$king sets of wings AND closed the f#&king show AND danced with both Akon and Katy! And I didn't even have to dress up as a fµ£king baseball on a football field!

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COMING SOON - WE'RE BACK:

Tuesday, November 30 · 9:00pm - 9:30pm... Or something. :idk:

Pre-Show Chat with the "Angels" – Live on The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread

What’s it like to walk with 7” heels and wings?

What was your favourite outfit?

Do you get nervous?

What was your most embarrassing moment on the runway—and what was your favourite?

What the hell is that guy from CSI:Miami doing back there?

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(Uh-Oh - "comedy" skit approaching... :cry: )

Bring your burning fashion show questions to our live chat, as Supermodels Alessandra Ambrosio, Candice Swanepoel and Chanel Iman (and probably some others) answer your questions from the VS Fashion Show viewing party in NYC.

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@ Chanel Iman

- Just between you and me girlfriend, does Adriana have some kind of neurological disorder that causes facial spasms that resemble a cartoon caricatures and uncontrollable body ticks? Also did you see Antichrist, if so do you see the striking similarities between Adriana and SHE who likes to cut off things with scissors? Cause I did!

Horde or Alliance?

And lastly.... who do you like working with more Adriana or Alessandra?

Love you girlfriend! *kisses*

Fuck it, one more question.

Was Candice ever in Porn?

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OH MY GOOD :woot: The gorgeous Kondace Swinepool has answered MINE post :woot:

I I I I have a question!!

For Adriana - where do you get inspiration for all those amazing gestures you make on the runway? They are all so original, not talking about how much I was looking forward to them :wub: They made my day :heart:

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^lawl at the name :D

my question for:

@AdrianaLima (Siemgi)

why should Victorias Secret hire you again for next years show?

and why does the whole world love you so much?

OH MY GOOD :woot: The gorgeous Kondace Swinepool has answered MINE post :woot:

I I I I have a question!!

For Adriana - where do you get inspiration for all those amazing gestures you make on the runway? They are all so original, not talking about how much I was looking forward to them :wub: They made my day :heart:

post-36478-0-1446084579-66547_thumb.jpg [Adriana Lima says:]

Has the chat already beginned? I must've watched my daughter sleep for too long. She's so amazing, you know. I have told you I have a daughter, right? Anyways, to answer your delightful questions, plain and simple: I'm that bitch!

@ Chanel Iman

- Just between you and me girlfriend, does Adriana have some kind of neurological disorder that causes facial spasms that resemble a cartoon caricatures and uncontrollable body ticks? Also did you see Antichrist, if so do you see the striking similarities between Adriana and SHE who likes to cut off things with scissors? Cause I did!

Horde or Alliance?

And lastly.... who do you like working with more Adriana or Alessandra?

Love you girlfriend! *kisses*

Fuck it, one more question.

Was Candice ever in Porn?

post-36478-0-1446084579-69674_thumb.jpg [Chanel Iman says:]

I don't f¤%king work with Alessandra all that much, TBH gurl. And my f*$king contract prevents me from saying any bad stuff about Adriana anyways (if I do my incredible bra zaps me and I can't take it off anymore, but it's so comfee!), so, she's obviously the f@

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Imposter models! SECURITY!!!

That's not the Chanel I know and love..... GF I got your back.

victoriasecretbombshell.jpg[Chanel Iman says:]

Yo, Pretty. Props for the heads up gurl. Respect. You need something? Somebody smoked? Some mother f%$ker needin' a WORD? Dig? Hell, holla gurl...

And you? Yo, you, MoFo... One question you gotta ask: Are you in my grill? I SAID ARE YOU IN MY GRILL??? Yeah, you better f*@king run. Some ho on that Twitter shit pretending to be Chanel. Bitch got f$£king smoked. Where she at now? Nowheres breathing - that's fo sho. Don't even matter if you got abs - you going down if you in MY grill!

Hell, you be waltzin' in here like you mother f%*king Rosie La De F&$king Da Whiteley - come in here for the day with your damn robots and get in my ways. Be all "Look at me - I in a film... Better respect me". Who the hell she think she is? Stuck up British bitch. You want some of this attention? Yeah? Better think hard. Maybe you do - then, maybe you finds yourself on the mother f^%king kerb...

Remember I told you. Listen!

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