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The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread


TheBaronOfFratton
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UPDATE

- Adriana (pbuh) WILL open the show from her 'QUEEN OF ALL ANGELS EVER' throne, being fanned by Ed Razek, and with Monica feeding her grapes.

- Then she'll open the show PROPER in possibly the best outfit EVER in the "Tough Adriana" theme. All other models will be dressed as Adriana (pbuh)

- There are six themes

- Themes are "Tough Adriana", "Game on, Adriana", "Country Adriana", "Heavenly Adriana's Body", "Transformers", and they end with shitty PINK

- Candice will open the "Country Adriana" segment, dressed as Adriana (pbuh)

- Erin opens "Game On, Adriana", dressed as Lindsay Ellingson, dressed as Adriana (pbuh)

- Rosie opens "Transformers" dressed as Optimus Prime.

- Adriana (pbuh) WILL introduce a special "Angels We Have Lost" segment with a moving black and white montage of "Angels" who are no longer with the brand in all their glory, with a special emphasis on Heidi, set to a moving musical score of Everybody Hurts sung by Seal. At present editors still trying to find any moment of glory with Selita. They may be some time...

- Adriana (pbuh) WILL introduce a hilarious blooper reel of models falling over - mostly consisting of Jessica Stam - with her unique commentary that if you can't understand then you must be a HATER. Will make sure that everyone laughs at KK's misfortunes again, and there will be a pre-arranged moment where the audience can all point at her and laugh again.

- Adriana (pbuh) WILL sing with Katy Perry - and probably Seal because he just won't take the hint.

- Adriana (pbuh) WILL sing with Akon, and Rosie, dressed as Megatron (Not that VS is banking on the film success - it's entirely coincidental)

- The last theme will be PINK where Ed will release the hideous, wonky, baby-women upon an unsuspecting audience.

The outfits look AMAZING!!! My fav ones are basically all of the ones Adriana (pbuh) is in.

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^I don't know... I still think they need more Adriana...

But at least this year they won't have that silly Angel - Model - Whatever Search that takes up sooooo much time. We need that time to be filled with Adriana.

God, what will we do when she retires? :chicken:

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^^I have the answer to your question. We will stalk her with our cameras. We will beg her to pose and point and such. When she passes on we will go to her grave everyday. We will bring her flowers and weep uncontrollably until the cemetery closes. As for Seal, I am a little mad Heidi retired now I will never get to see Seal perform "Kiss from a Rose" on the VS runway! If he did that I could forgive him for taking up camera time and singing with Heidi. I really could!

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^I don't know... I still think they need more Adriana...

But at least this year they won't have that silly Angel - Model - Whatever Search that takes up sooooo much time. We need that time to be filled with Adriana.

God, what will we do when she retires? :chicken:

She'll never "retire"

VS will create a reality show called Adriana <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 and will follow her life around until she dies, every second, dunno if they will censor it or not. And probably even after that.

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HEY KIDS - WANT ALE ON YOUR CROTCH???

NOW YOU CAN RELIVE THOSE GLORY DAYS OF SUPERHERO UNDEROOS WITH THE NEW VS (IN NO WAY WEIRD) ANGEL PANTIES:

post-11221-0-1446084568-973_thumb.jpg

YES - FOR JUST $15.50 YOU TOO CAN PRANCE ABOUT THE HOUSE WITH A BEVY OF BEAUTIES GRINNING INANELY AT YOUR BOYFRIEND FROM YOUR 'SPECIAL PLACE'!

OR, YOU CAN JUST LOOK DOWN AT THEM YOURSELF, AND ADMIRE THE ANGELS SLIGHTLY UPSIDE DOWN.

+ NOW WITH DOUTZEN KROES ON THE ASS!

GET YOURS NOW!!!

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Ah, my bad Baron. :banghead:

Anywhos, I just want to speak for all the females of Bellazon in saying there is nothing we want more than underwear with VS Models on them. Nothing.

I'm so glad there's a company like Victoria's Secret out there that knows exactly what a woman wants to wear. :hehe:

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