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The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread


TheBaronOfFratton
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"That's right," said Candice. "Sit on the chair, that's what chairs are for."

That line, for some reason, made the entire article. I'm going to yell this at people when they sit. :hehe:

Or rather when they don´t :evil:

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So... I totally did not write but I thought it raised a valid question, so here it is:

Do Candice Swanepoel and Lindsay Ellingson Hate Each Other?

Posted by kroq_jock

July 14, 2011

I hate it when supermodels have beef with each other. I mean, they should be having slumber parties and pink panty pillow fights! In this case, we got two Victoria’s Angels that just don’t seem to want to stand next to each other in photos.

As I was looking through these new photos of a Victoria’s Secret charity event that was held a few days ago, I noticed a few things: hot cameltoe and lots of amped up cleavage. But other than those, I also noticed that hotties Candice Swanepoel and Lindsay Ellingson were staying so far apart from each other as if one of them had chlamydia or something.

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It was as if these two were purposely being kept apart in order to not allow them to get into a big ol’ sexy bitchfight in the middle of the floor. Oh man, can you imagine these two blondes just slapping and clawing at each other as they yell obscenities like “You fuckin’ cunt-licking dicksucking ass-reaming bitch!” or “You’re the one who’s a cum-guzzling slut!” or even “Go swallow a bowl of black cock, you FUPA-having bush-pig whore!“? I know I can!

Here, browse the rest of these pics and see if I’m right or just plain right. Notice how Candice gets all touchy-feely with Erin Heatherton, Lily Aldridge, and Alessandra Ambrosio but NOT Lindsay. Hmmm……

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Oh, they TOTALLY hate each other, don’t get me wrong! I can see it in the body language. In the same way that supermodels Adriana Lima and Isabeli Fontana hate each others guts, Candice and Lindsay seem like the best of friends……or maybe not.

http://www.celebutopia.net/2011/07/do-cand...ate-each-other/

So I did some research...

And they did, in fact, stand next to each other at some point and you clearly can feel the loooooooove.

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You'll also notice that Lindsay never sits on pictures, so maybe that's why.

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  • 4 weeks later...

MICHAEL BAY - THE GREATEST HOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR OF ALL TIMES

Not my words, dear thread followers, but the words of Adriana Lima(pbuh) in the VS Holiday '10 behind-the-scenes video - so who are we to argue? And the time is upon us again as a bunch of blondes (no "ethnics" please) congregate in Prague for this year's affair. One can only hope it will be as bombastic as the last one - so I thought it would be a good time to go over what makes the perfect VS commercial from Bay or a nearly-Bay...

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EXPLOSIONS! Gotta start with some EXPLOSIONS! Nothing says lingerie more than EXPLOSIONS! This is Michael Bay - nothing says nothing about anything unless there ARE SOME MOTHER-FUCKING EXPLOSIONS!

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Cue bunch of blonde girls doing that weird shaking your hair about in wind and pouting for unexplained reasons. Does this look sexy? Looks kind of weird taken out of context like this. :idk:

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Yeah, best have another EXPLOSION!

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Get girls to walk in straight line. A to B - nothing too taxing. Again, not sure why... This does look sexy, not going to lie. Why's that? But why settle for just this when you can add some:

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EXPLOSIONS!

Chuck in some quasi-mythical shit. Maybe some horses in a forest? Blossom blowing about in the wind? Angel wings, of course! Hey - how about horses with wings? Yeah? Cool I know. :yes:

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Oooh yeah - that's why they pay me the big bucks!

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Better do some more of this - else we'll forget what this ad's about.

How about some ill-advised attempts at humour with some barely-concealed racist stereotyping? It's OK - they're ROBOTS. The kids'll love 'em. Cool?

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Hmmm... No. Maybe scratch that.

OK then - one, ummm three, more:

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YEEE-HAH!!! EXPLOSIONS!

That it?

Forgot the fucking heart thing, man. Better do that heart thing. Someone?

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Sweet! Print that. Advertising gold...

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  • 2 weeks later...

It's that time of the year, Angels!

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Fashion's Night Out! When everybody else supports fashion designers throughout the US of A you get to look at gorgeous, show-stopping ladies (possibly in lingerie) and ask them any and every question you wanna ask them (except if it involves unflattering comparisons to the the late Bankable and Kluminator, in which case beware the wrath of a Supermodel on a diet). Of course we brought everybody's favourite Angel, Adriana and that other blonde that you can't ever see too much of (no, not that one). We would have brought Alessandra too, but her contract specifically states that we can't air more than half a second of her per video we make, so, yeah... But it'll be fun! So prepare your Qs, we can't wait to give our As.

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