May 17, 201113 yr IT'S THE 1ST ANNUAL (totally spurious) WHAT IS SEXY? LIST! We got the eggheads at NASA, Victoria Beckham, Kanye West, that big fella who wears the throws and kaftan-type shit who works at US Vogue doing something (Andre something?), and a poll of A MILLION ILL-INFORMED AND KNEE-JERK REACTIONARY PEOPLE to decide what were the most sexy things - so there could be NO arguments. Who's gonna argue with that as a panel? So, who made it? Who didn't? Why are these categories so incredibly arbitrary? Without further ado: WHAT IS SEXY? 2011 SEXIEST MURDER WEAPON IN CLUEDO: "Eeeeees verrry sexxxxy deeed ledddd piiiiiiping. I tink is verrry sexxxxxy. Eeeess sexy, no? Ledddd piiiiiping. I teeenk." SEXIEST FRUIT: "Yooo tink we gonna say ashparaaaaagusssss, or oyyyyyyshtersh, cos dey saaay deees eeees sexxxxxxy. But pineapple mucccccch sexxxxxxier." SEXIEST SIMPSONS CHARACTER: "Oooooh, Groundskeeper Willie. He soooooo sexxxxxxy. With heeees muskles, and heeees beeeeerd. All man!" SEXIEST WORD: "What eees theees, "fucknutty"? Eeees a biscuit???" SEXIEST BELLAZONIAN: "Eeees Sweet Lu. Ayayayayay... Heeees mucccch sexier than the Jimmy Changa. Ale, she say Jimmy Changa - I say Jimmy Changa look and smell like sheeet." SEXIEST THING ON A McDONALD'S MENU: "Feeelet-O-Feeesh. I love to say eeeet. And I no like deee meeeeet. Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh." SEXIEST JACKSON: "Eeees Teeeeeto. He play geeeeeetarrrrr. And he got a beeeg afro." omg... lead pipes and tito jackson. only you baron.. only you could come up with this wonderful shit. feeeeeeeeeesshhhhh. ive been saying that all morning
May 24, 201113 yr Good thing comes to those who wait, Jennka. Editing a bikini commercial and selecting the time and the place to launch a collection is a long, excruciating process. We have shared what we could for now but we wouldn't want to endanger the source of such great information, now would we?But fear not, it'll be worth the wait, as always.
June 21, 201113 yr this was just false publicity... This lie makes me as mad as Rosie huntington-whiteley acting!
June 30, 201113 yr Author Why, you people talk like we have to reveal and back-up our vastly overblown proclamations and "facts" about forthcoming events and launches - those that just end up being some old pap about a slightly different bra, or some huge 'star turn' that merely ends up on the cutting-room floor, or a "truth" that only exists in a member's head but proves so undeniably 100% correct to them that they have to force us all to accept it by throwing statistics and quotes from special super-secret sources until a couple of other like-minded members do agree with them so that it becomes this "truth" (until it doesn't actually come to pass at all - because it wasn't a "truth")... I mean that wouldn't happen on an "Official" thread, would it?
July 1, 201113 yr Author Victoria's Secret Presents: SUPERMODEL CYCLE RAISE A SWEAT. RAISE MONEY. END CANDICE. Hosted by ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO Yo, me and some blonde no-marks are rollin' out to get us some more fucking pictures in the VS catalogue. Too much Candice. Together, we can raise awareness and maybe, finally, end Candice. It's early days I know, and I haven't even learnt to roll properly yet - so I got some stabilisers - but it's time to end this disease. There's even some other Brasilian girl who isn't getting her mug in the catalogue enough either backing us up (but not getting on her ass and rollin'), a couple of baby-makers, and some moon-faced chubster too who could do with losing a few pounds. Whatever, me and the other things will be cranking it up out there. Join us and roll alongside some ladies you'll feel massively inadequate against when you're right next to them. It's about time we was rollin'... Turn up the volume, crank up the bass Awww yeah, Ale A is in the place I'm here to tell ya a little story 'bout my little bike Just a-lettin' ya know, that's a what I like Oh yes many people know that I got good taste And if the cops try to race in a high speed chase I just laugh, right in their face and say YO, Don't even waste your time, see, 'Cause I can red-line and leave you far behind Because I'm out gettin' mine And I'm sweatin' like steam and you can feel the hike When I'm Rollin' on my little bike
July 1, 201113 yr I still have NOT forgotten About what? About this: Someone everybody loves will soon be the face of a very BIG campaign for VS. It's SO BIG that WE'LL HAVE TO SHUT DOWN THE MOON FOR THE NIGHT to better regard it's MASSIVE awesomeness. We'll release further details *maybe* - but we don't believe your tiny, feeble (and if you disagree with it's brilliance, hating) minds can even begin to comprehend it as yet. Yeah, bet you wish you knew what it was don't you? But you can't. Cos that's the way this thread rolls. Siemgi knows, and that's cool as we can hint about things to each other in a smug way that is at once condescending to you and yet marks us out as rather special members. Oh, don't worry we'll shove it in your face as FACT when we decide to, and if it doesn't quite pan out that great then we'll simply pretend none of this ever happened, and won't be held to account for these insidious overblown announcements... and this: Lovin' how everybody is pretending to not see your post Baron. They're so jealous. But TBH, if I were them, I'd be jealous of us too... I can't really get into specifics, otherwise our very trustable source would probably get their ass fired from the Ultimate VS Insiders club, but believe me, it's gonna be as huge as a pregnant Doutzen! Maybe even as huge as two pregnant Doutzens! It'll redefine the brand, be the end of VS as we know it, lead to a huge Angel Supermodel Bombshell line-up shake-up (but fear not, my friends, obviously someone is going to stay aboard the Mothership, she is, after all, the one and only true Head Angel like Heidi used to be after Tyra was after Daniela was after Stephanie was, the erst are just nameless faceless replaceable minions) and it's gonna be awesome! And massive, too. Anyways, keep your eyes open, it'll blow your mind even more than when Adriana appeared in the '09 show, while giving birth. and this: ^Yeah, you can blink - but we know what's coming and you'd probably be best to keep them eyes tightly shut, else them blinkers will pop put if your not careful with this BIG BIG BIG news!Main thing is we know something that you don't - and when you do know it, well, then we can say: "We already knew that". But for some reason we're going to tell you we know something that we can't (or just plain won't) tell you about now, so that we can let you know that we're higher up the VS insiders food-chain than you are in a new patronising way. But we do know it - and it's MASSIVE... Unless it's not. Then we'll just never come back to it. And if you criticise this (somehow) unBIG news and it's INCREDIBLE model then you'll just be HATERS, obviously. aand this: Sorry to divert the conversation from your miraculous and very sexy self, Lu, but I just had to gush about that new campaign that only Baron and I know about.I have seen the final product and hold on to your Cotton Lingerie and Nakeds, guys, it's incredible. It has all those sexy little things, the background looks insanely gorgeous, the bodies are amazing... They really look like bombshells. The product's design is so amazing, think biofit meets glamour, and one of favourite models looks so good in pink. It's like a dream, Angels. Heavenly. and of course, this one too: Sorry to divert the conversation from your miraculous and very sexy self, Lu, but I just had to gush about that new campaign that only Baron and I know about.^Whoah there, Siemgi - how are we going to maintain our lofty superiority if you reveal too much of our super-secret information?The masses only need know that we know more than they do, and they should be happy to doff their caps to us for that - as we glide by powered by our own self-importance... <_< Besides, knowing about this hush-hush MASSIVELY IMPORTANT campaign might fry their simple brains, like they were looking into the very centre of a supernova! and a little bit of this too: Good thing comes to those who wait, Jennka. Editing a bikini commercial and selecting the time and the place to launch a collection is a long, excruciating process. We have shared what we could for now but we wouldn't want to endanger the source of such great information, now would we?But fear not, it'll be worth the wait, as always.
July 1, 201113 yr Why, you people talk like we have to reveal and back-up our vastly overblown proclamations and "facts" about forthcoming events and launches - those that just end up being some old pap about a slightly different bra, or some huge 'star turn' that merely ends up on the cutting-room floor, or a "truth" that only exists in a member's head but proves so undeniably 100% correct to them that they have to force us all to accept it by throwing statistics and quotes from special super-secret sources until a couple of other like-minded members do agree with them so that it becomes this "truth" (until it doesn't actually come to pass at all - because it wasn't a "truth")...I mean that wouldn't happen on an "Official" thread, would it? Because THIS is a slightly different (yer much more truthfull) thread, isn´t it?
July 2, 201113 yr I still have NOT forgotten About what? About this: Someone everybody loves will soon be the face of a very BIG campaign for VS. It's SO BIG that WE'LL HAVE TO SHUT DOWN THE MOON FOR THE NIGHT to better regard it's MASSIVE awesomeness. We'll release further details *maybe* - but we don't believe your tiny, feeble (and if you disagree with it's brilliance, hating) minds can even begin to comprehend it as yet. Yeah, bet you wish you knew what it was don't you? But you can't. Cos that's the way this thread rolls. Siemgi knows, and that's cool as we can hint about things to each other in a smug way that is at once condescending to you and yet marks us out as rather special members. Oh, don't worry we'll shove it in your face as FACT when we decide to, and if it doesn't quite pan out that great then we'll simply pretend none of this ever happened, and won't be held to account for these insidious overblown announcements... and this: Lovin' how everybody is pretending to not see your post Baron. They're so jealous. But TBH, if I were them, I'd be jealous of us too... I can't really get into specifics, otherwise our very trustable source would probably get their ass fired from the Ultimate VS Insiders club, but believe me, it's gonna be as huge as a pregnant Doutzen! Maybe even as huge as two pregnant Doutzens! It'll redefine the brand, be the end of VS as we know it, lead to a huge Angel Supermodel Bombshell line-up shake-up (but fear not, my friends, obviously someone is going to stay aboard the Mothership, she is, after all, the one and only true Head Angel like Heidi used to be after Tyra was after Daniela was after Stephanie was, the erst are just nameless faceless replaceable minions) and it's gonna be awesome! And massive, too. Anyways, keep your eyes open, it'll blow your mind even more than when Adriana appeared in the '09 show, while giving birth. and this: ^Yeah, you can blink - but we know what's coming and you'd probably be best to keep them eyes tightly shut, else them blinkers will pop put if your not careful with this BIG BIG BIG news!Main thing is we know something that you don't - and when you do know it, well, then we can say: "We already knew that". But for some reason we're going to tell you we know something that we can't (or just plain won't) tell you about now, so that we can let you know that we're higher up the VS insiders food-chain than you are in a new patronising way. But we do know it - and it's MASSIVE... Unless it's not. Then we'll just never come back to it. And if you criticise this (somehow) unBIG news and it's INCREDIBLE model then you'll just be HATERS, obviously. aand this: Sorry to divert the conversation from your miraculous and very sexy self, Lu, but I just had to gush about that new campaign that only Baron and I know about.I have seen the final product and hold on to your Cotton Lingerie and Nakeds, guys, it's incredible. It has all those sexy little things, the background looks insanely gorgeous, the bodies are amazing... They really look like bombshells. The product's design is so amazing, think biofit meets glamour, and one of favourite models looks so good in pink. It's like a dream, Angels. Heavenly. and of course, this one too: Sorry to divert the conversation from your miraculous and very sexy self, Lu, but I just had to gush about that new campaign that only Baron and I know about.^Whoah there, Siemgi - how are we going to maintain our lofty superiority if you reveal too much of our super-secret information?The masses only need know that we know more than they do, and they should be happy to doff their caps to us for that - as we glide by powered by our own self-importance... <_< Besides, knowing about this hush-hush MASSIVELY IMPORTANT campaign might fry their simple brains, like they were looking into the very centre of a supernova! and a little bit of this too: Good thing comes to those who wait, Jennka. Editing a bikini commercial and selecting the time and the place to launch a collection is a long, excruciating process. We have shared what we could for now but we wouldn't want to endanger the source of such great information, now would we?But fear not, it'll be worth the wait, as always. Oh, that... What can I say?
July 4, 201113 yr So, about one week before the big event, End Cancer (or is it Candice? Both of them do spread too much...), I think it is time for a very important course: which VS Supermodel (or Bombshell, or Angel, or how about you stop changing it up very damn second?) is which? Once upon a time it was easy, you had Ginger, Scary, Sporty, Baby and Posh, but then they went to a nice little retirement house, and so did Body, Barbie... And now we're stuck with Loner, Pinky, Slutty, Skippy, Piggy, Psycho, Stoney, Carly, Rocky, Very-enerdjaytic and Adriana. And it's tough. Loner and Rocky look too much alike (and like the much regretted O'Bride), nobody knows who is Psycho and who is Stoney, no one remembers the last time they saw Pinky or Carly or that one that's pregnant at the moment. And there's way. Too. Much. Slutty. So here's a little run down: Adriana: the biggest, brightest star you've ever seen in your life. Longest running Angel at the moment and with an uncanny ability to rewrite history. Loner: Oldest Angel, looks like a better Rocky. Does not seem to enjoy being with other Angels very much (especially not with big balls of energy) and never gets the glittery bra. Skippy: Australian, weirdly into yoga, organic stuff and elves. Has been looking like she's 4 for the past 24 years, but now with more bewbage. Piggy: Never let food in her sight, unless you're Slutty and fashion week is around the corner and it's time to get to business. Can't say certain words, but definitely more understandable that some other chick. Has gigantic bewbies. Pinky: Don't bother, she's only an Angel one day per year anyway. Carly: See above. Loves playing with big robots, though. Slutty: Thee Bombshell, whether you like it or (most likely) not. She's the one twirling her hair, pouting her mouth, checking out her own ass, and hating on Bieber. Does not eat when traveling, but box, so she's healthy.Very-Enerdjaytic: Token black one, but not too dark. Tells it like it is and very fun to chat with (after you've taken an aspirin). Surfer: Strangely confused swith the big-blue-eyed, freckle-less, bleach-blonde Psycho. Pretends to be a beach girl but we all know she's from Chi-town. Rocky: Not quite as sexy as the other ones and has a weird smiles but caters very well to the rockers' market. Supposedly has fab hair. Psycho: May or may not be an Angel depending on the other ones' schedule. Strangelt confused with the tiny-green-eyed, freckle-full, beach-blonde Surfer. Do NOT mention Brigitte Bardot when next to her. Ever. .
July 5, 201113 yr Author ^I think that about covers it doesn't it?! (Y) Personally I think they need the return of Kaiser Klum, to keep them all in check as the bordello Madame... I mean, you knew where you stood back then (below Heidi) and with Tyra, then Gisele, as her trusty second-in-command (and imagine how steely you'd have to be to boss either of those two around? ) shit got done. Now the girls are careering about, bumping into things, being incoherent, disappearing and then re-appearing on whims, being given different nomenclatures and not repsonding to any... They need corralling. Heidi might have been a megalomaniac, camera-hogging, insufferably unfunny "leader" - but I guess it was a benign dictatorship.
July 6, 201113 yr for some people (and some angels) democracy never works... by the way, it was hilarious
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