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Bellazon

I hate...


Lyla

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I encountered an old man mentor that was really influential to me back in my early 20s  (I would say that I was the most vulnerable to influence by charismatic people during this time).  I learned a lot of analytical and communication skills from him but I also picked up a lot of bad habits of mind and incorrect information.  In retrospect he probably did more harm to me than good and I didn't shake off 95% of the bad I picked up from him until my late 20s- mainly through trail and error and learning.  I probably still have some of his bad habits embedded to me right now going in the background of my mind but I don't know it's even there.  He wasted a lot of my time.

 

Recently I found out from contact with him that he never really grew as a person while I progressed a great deal.  For all my time with studying psychology and Buddhism- I still found myself hating this person and getting angry at him for being who he was and feeling that he robbed me.  It was not what I expected.  The silver lining is that my hatred of this person was only 30-40% of the hatred that I would have experienced when I was younger.  That means that I've made significant progress in managing my mood.  But not enough

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The thing that drives me off the wall are people who repeat the same incompetent and stupid behavior over and over again despite others identifying their problems over and over again for years.   It's not a matter of slow learning but a matter of laziness, arrogance and unwillingness to learn and improve.

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