Jump to content
Bellazon
Patreon/Only Fans Content
Underage Models (Kids - Preteens)

Football

goose

By goose
in Sports

 Share

Recommended Posts

TheBaronOfFratton

TheBaronOfFratton

Posted
Posted
I think at this point Beckham is in a special league - along with Prince Charles, Paul McCartney, etc - who have been really famous for such a long time that no one can remember a time before they were filling newspapers and magazines. Therefore a proportion of society tend to be overly cynical about them or deride them for various things (some just, some not, some tedious, some all of the above), whilst another feels the need to continually praise them and zealously over defend them like archaic statues that the local council are threatening to destroy.
^Oh, so he's the outside (Bellazon) world's' Adriana Lima! :shifty:
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Michael*

Michael*

Posted
Posted
^That all said, you've still got to look forward to it. For Michael*:

That! Was a goal! :rofl:

PHIL BROWN? MORE LIKE PHIL BROWNED OFF CUZ HE GOT SACKED HAHAHA

Q. Why did Phil Brown leave Hull City?

A. His position became untanable.

qntijn.gif

(ahem)

Bruce is definitely a viable candidate, though I'm sure Michael will step in momentarily to defend Sunderland's beloved manager!

I like to imagine that Bruce Almighty (as absolutely no-one is calling him) hangs out in Star Wars' Mos Eisley Cantina in his spare time. But according to at least one site, he does bear an uncanny resemblance to the pigeon lady from Home Alone 2, so you might be on to something. It must be the blonde rinse! :laugh:

bruceap300.jpghomealone5.jpg

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Frederick

Frederick

Posted
Posted

Steve Bruce may not have an exciting brand of football to his name but he has a legacy in my household. When he was Birmingham manager, Clinton Morrison was busted in the back car with a group of men of dubious morals, who among their possessions, had a big old bag of weed. (I'm paraphrasing this story quite a bit, but indulge me!) Morrison claimed he didn't know the men and that he was merely being given a lift home by a group of generous strangers. Instead of laying down the law on the unreliable, mostly useless Irish forward Bruce played the untenable, unbelievable line of "how many times have we all accepted a lift home from a group of strangers?" card. Millionaire footballer hitchhikes home has a certain ring to it but anyway, Bruce's response entertains all kinds of questions about his recreational time. Therefore, any time a ludicrous story comes on the news and a loved one says to me "how the hell did a man accidentally freeze his own testicles?" I always retort that this in fact a common experience and that actually the exact same thing once happened to Steve Bruce. TEHEHEHE...

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Frederick

Frederick

Posted
Posted

Wait, why isn't Gary Megson Hull manager yet? Mark Hughes and Iain Dowie? IAIN DOWIE?! Why don't they just go for Brian Laws, so that he can go for an unlikely hat-trick of managering three sides terribly in one season. I hope these candidates understand that should they sign they're contractually obligated to sing a Beach Boys song at the end of the season, rain or shine! I nominate Surf's Up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TheBaronOfFratton

TheBaronOfFratton

Posted
Posted

Hmmm... Now Britain's Poet Laureate (honorary poet for State occasions, currently Carol Ann Duffy) pens an ode to Beckham. See what I mean Frederick? Ho hum. :cain:

Achilles (for David Beckham)

Myth's river- where his mother dipped him, fished him, a slippery golden boyflowed on, his name on its lips. Without him, it was prophesised,

they would not take Troy.

Women hid him, concealed him in girls' sarongs; days of sweetmeats, spices, silver songs...

but when Odysseus came,

with an athlete's build, a sword and a shield, he followed him to the battlefield, the crowd's roar,

and it was sport, not war,

his charmed foot on the ball...

but then his heel, his heel, his heel...

You see what she did there? He's, like, Achilles - and it was his 'achilles' tendon that's done him over... Wish I'd thought of that!

Here's mine:

David married Posh

Then Rebecca had a nosh

His haircuts were all tosh

And his achilles went Kibosh

Golly gosh

Now where's my 10 shillings and barrel of brandy? That's poetry magic, that. <_<

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Michael*

Michael*

Posted
Posted

Andrey Arshavin is my hero...

ASK ANDREY

Hi, Andrey, I want to play like you.

Arshavin: Play then.

Andrey, in what order would you place the following animals: a tiger, a cow, a pig, a horse, a sheep?

Arshavin: A pig - it will always get the last place! A tiger, a cow, a horse, a sheep. And I’ll repeat that a pig is always the last one, because it is a pig.

I am 25 years old and still not married. My parents are very upset about this. But I don’t want to get married yet. What shall I do? (Sorry if this is off topic; just want to know your opinion)

Arshavin: I think I can help you.

Step 1: You need to find a scruffy heavy drinker.

Step 2: Once you’ve found him, try to persuade him to “marry” you. I think that for a small amount of money, he will agree to fulfill the role of your fiancé.

Final: Bring this guy home. Tell your parents he’ll live with you.

I think next time they will think better before forcing their opinion on you.

Hi Andrey, do you think Arsene Wenger is a competent manager?

Arshavin: Yes.

Do you approve when a girl starts using makeup very early in her life?

Arshavin: As for the makeup, this is a purely personal matter for each girl, although I think it is better to consult a professional regarding this question.

Why football? There are so many other kinds of sports, but, of course, football is the best.

Arshavin: I started off playing checkers. When I realized that I won’t be able to become an International Grand Master, I had to leave it for football.

Hello. Didn’t you have an impression that Manchester United played against Arsenal the way you liked (counter-attacking).

Arshavin: I prefer attacking football.

How does it feel when Drogba ties your shoelaces?

Arshavin: Funny.

Do you believe that laughter can prolong life?

Arshavin: Unfortunately, we’ll never know. While scientists claim that it does. If they claim this, probably they are right.

Hello, Andrey! Thanks for your game! I would like to know whether you like cactuses. Thanks in advance ...

Arshavin: They are prickly; I remember we had them in kindergarten. We also had some at home. I didn’t like them then and I don’t like them now.

Dear AA, having read your answers I’ve got the impression (perhaps I’m wrong) that you are bored of life!

Arshavin: I find life interesting.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
red_ed

red_ed

Posted
Posted

from Who ate all the pies:

Here are our Top 10 Andrey Quotes, from the mouth of the great man himself:

1. “When girls like football, I think it’s ok. But I think that the level of women’s football is too low to take it seriously.”

2. “My three favorite colors: red, black and white.”

3. “I rarely eat breakfast. But if I’m to choose, I’d prefer pancakes, moreover, Julia [his wife] is very good at cooking them.”

4. “I do not smoke and I don’t approve of smoking especially by women.”

5. “My grandmother used to teach me that it’s bad manners to invite yourself to somebody’s house.” [After a fan invited himself to Andrey's house]

6. “I’ve been stung once in my behind by a bee.”

7. “I’ve never taken any autograph for myself. Sometimes I ask my team mates to sign something for somebody. What do I think about it? To be honest, I do not understand what people need it for.”

8. “Somehow I feel that we won’t go to Scotland even after my career is over.” [Andrey has no desire to take his family to Scotland]

9. “I recorded a single two years ago. ‘The football of my childhood’ is a nice song about a boy with a dream of becoming a professional footballer.”

10. “I don’t drink coffee at all.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Frederick

Frederick

Posted
Posted

The last few pages have been exquisite - like watching Clint Dempsey's finish last night!

I never say this but I'm (sort of) looking forward to the Champions League quarter finals. 1) Barca will beat Arsenal, so hooray for that. 2) A French team will definitely be in the semis, which is excellent and 3) hahaha, I always say Bayern will win the whole damn thing because they always get what they want when it comes to decisions, and now they're playing Man Utd, the ultimate referee bullying scum! I hope Bayern win but what a horrible, mean spirited tie it will be!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Frederick

Frederick

Posted
Posted

My oh my how things change. Villa scraping for a home draw against Sunderland? It must be March. Conclusions: knackered team, stubborn tactics (Cueller isn't a right-back) and no one who can come off the bench to change a game. Bruce played this one pretty well, Sunderland were miles better than the dross they served the last time we met (not one shot from 38 yards into row z!) and if they were a bit higher on the hog at the moment, they'd have probably won it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...