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Frederick

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  1. {name}

    Football

    The great thing about Ashley being such a world class roaster is that Bruce would/will get a fair bit of time, which means one can really feast on all the bitter press conferences and post-match delusional jibber jabber.
  2. {name}

    Football

    Steve Bruce is the favourite to be next Newcastle manager? Yes please.
  3. {name}

    Football

    "Hello Ray, it's Mark here. Your friend Steve wanted me to give you a shout out, but I didn't know what he was flaming on about because I'm not a teenage girl, Guy. So anyway, he told me Dingle Red Rovers FC won this year's Elite Invitational Pub Bantz competition. Haven't you lads got anything better to do, eh? What's next, face painting with your nan? Do me a favour, hey? Any one of you got a girlfriend? Anyway, apparently Ray wants me to grow back my moustache but you obviously haven't been paying attention because that's been gone for years and is not coming back. Underline that and staple it to your forehead, Dan. Anyway, happy Fathers Day and (squints to read) you'll never walk alone. What do you mean, I'll never walk alone? I walk alone all the time, don't I? I went into Currys this morning and the chuffin' lot of them were useless, giving me all this swot stuff mumbo jumbo, I only went in for a screwdriver...." (continues for the next nine hours)
  4. {name}

    Football

    Anywhere but a Sports Direct warehouse, I'd say. Needless to add, I was almost breathless with excitement when wild rumours of Avram Grant swooping in to replace him were briefly circulating. Incidentally, and unrelated to my forthcoming birthday, may I add that for a mere $1,000 you can get Avram to make you or a loved one a 'shout out' video (https://www.cameo.com/avramgrant)His introduction video is very enticing!
  5. {name}

    Football

    Tuned into the Europa League final for approximately ten minutes before I decided listening to Robbie Savage shouting in an otherwise morgue like atmosphere was probably not the best way of retaining one's sanity.
  6. {name}

    Football

    Live long enough and apparently you'll see everything including John flippin' Terry faithfully, creditably serve as an assistant to Dean Smith as Aston Villa pull of a improbable late season play-off steamroll with our recently 73rd choice keeper Jed Steer serving as a pivotal figure. I can't say I understand much of what's happened but I know I like it. Big love to @Michael* - gift wrapped an absurd goal and then you get thunder gazumped in such a manner. Must be sick to the teeth of Wembley, not to mention Charlton at Wembley.
  7. {name}

    Football

    This is the bit where Paul Lambert swoops in and brings about one hundred years of near-identical misery.
  8. {name}

    Football

    Commiserations on the Checkatrade Trophy, Michael. Not the one we all dream of winning as kids (4th place, isn't it?) but a trophy is a trophy. Been to a group game in said competition where the atmosphere was sub-anaemic, so credit to all involved for getting 85,000 there. Didn't need to guess who missed the crucial penalty, bless 'im.
  9. {name}

    Football

    I like that McLeish wears glasses now, he looks less like the thoughtful modern coach he wants to be and more like the frontman of a Devo cover band. I assume Fergie's office still issues a stock reference for the endless brigade of managerial mediocrities he gazumped for decades so hopefully he'll continue having misadventures for many years to come.
  10. {name}

    Football

    Fine, throw in a nine point deduction while you're at it.
  11. {name}

    Football

    Alex McLeish, ladies and gents.
  12. {name}

    Football

    Them begging us to allow them to play Gary Gardner against us should have been sufficient "and that's why they're Birmingham City" for a season but c'est la vie.
  13. {name}

    Football

    ...AND Craig Gardner missed two sitters. What a game, eh?
  14. {name}

    Football

    I agree, for all the considerable time we get with Grayson and Coleman, we rarely get any hint of the man or the plan (except that fascinating post-season chat with CC and his wife. I believe psychiatrists will be studying that footage for a long time). The total absence of the dressing room is completely inexplicable, for goodness sake, Peter Reid wrote his own legend the day he let the cameras in! If Amazon can get Pep gnashing his teeth during a 10-0 win, then who knows what jewels we were deprived of here. In general, I found the games were (as is the modern way) overly artfully shot and the incessant slow-mo of rage spewing fans veered into fetish porn at times. I never thought I'd say this but I was hungry for more Lee Cattermole. He's a terrible player and probably best typifies the malaise and stench at the core of a declining club, but I still think he 'gets it' enough that he could, intentionally or otherwise, have revealed some key truths. It is amazing how every semi-articulate player they seemed to have eyed as some kind of anchor either goes berserk (Gibson) or is just too rubbish to keep pursuing (Jason Steele). Except the good natured, guppy fingered Dutch keeper, of course. Obviously the Lewis Grabban stuff is very interesting and the tantalising three seconds we see of Jack Rodwell after that meeting had me seething with rage. The whole thing is essential viewing and must be archived by the BFI.
  15. {name}

    Football

    I ended up bounding through the whole thing in next to no time. Probably a nightmare to cobble into episodic form, to be fair, but you can feel the editor's hand at unwelcome moments, pulling you back to something that's been hammered home pretty well already, while leaving juicy tidbits underdeveloped. Some of the fan stuff became pretty redundant (quite liked the cabbie, though) and really, how much time did we need to spend with the reserve goalie who mangled his finger? There was a bit, for instance, when Aiden McGeady was having a wee moan about Chris Coleman after the initial euphoria at his arrival had been stubbed out. Wanted a bit more of that. Also, where was John O'Shea? All we see him do is hug the tea lady after relegation, I find it hard to believe he wouldn't have been interviewed at some time during the making.
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