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Frederick

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Everything posted by Frederick

  1. {name}

    Football

    A Victorian slumlord and some Tom Clancy bad guys (who for added colour even pinch TV coverage of Burnley-Palace just to give Qatar the finger) negotiating for the right to employee Matt Ritchie is what the youngsters might call 'peak' 2020.
  2. {name}

    Football

    A helluva thing, that. I've long thought we were smoked, steamed and ready to be served up at Kenilworth Road, but credit to Deano and the boys for pulling themselves out of it. We're a funny ol' team, unbelievably foolish at the back especially pre-lockdown, often as dour as we ever were under future Real Madrid coach Steve Bruce (Steve, seriously, I'm sorry) but with Jack and a few of his wacky midfield cohort (and I mean wacky) we do occasionally allow for some good stuff. Huge work to be done over the summer (careful, lads, WOULDN'T WANNA DO A FULHAM 😏)
  3. {name}

    Football

    Superlative choke from Forest, an all time great.
  4. {name}

    Football

    Tyler, who always seemed so robustly competent, has definitely morphed into a dottier specimen over the last ten or so years, which might just be age related (74!), though I'm a believer commentators should be at least 60 anyway as only fair weather Twitter types, the kind who rush to make photoshop mock ups of their team's supposed transfer targets wearing the club kit, would want a wee tyke on the mic during a game that had anything riding on it. I also suspect the reaction to the primal Aguero howl went to Martin's head a bit, did the dreaded catchphrase start before or after that?
  5. {name}

    Football

    A banner at every empty stadium demanding the reinstatement of Clive Tydesley as ITV's number one commentator? Seems the least 'we' can do. Matterface? More like Getouttamyface!
  6. {name}

    Football

    Presumably Wigan are the first club to go into administration and win a game 8-0 less than two weeks later.
  7. {name}

    Football

    Christian Purslow has the gift of the gab to the extent that he could probably convince me that my legs are in fact made of candle wax, but we are so thunderously pants as a footballing entity it begs belief. Bruce may as well have laid out a red carpet and said "we can't be bothered today, go beat us" but no, we started playing with five minutes to go, but not before being out thought by a mutton chopped 76 year-old Andy Carroll. League games against Coventry beckon and I tell ya, I ain't ready for it!
  8. {name}

    Football

    Played reasonably well against a decent team who arguably humiliated us in the reverse fixture, such was the gulf in ability. But golly gee, I don't think I have the stomach for all these games, ours or anyone else's.
  9. {name}

    Football

    I have a big enough sample size now to safely say the BT Sport Bundesliga commentator, hyper at the best of the times, needs to take it down several notches for games in our new reality. Set an example in your chosen field, you over eager dafty, by not smothering me with endless inane babbling or forcing Owen Hargreaves' dreary cadence upon my ears when he clearly wants to be left alone, let me bathe in the echoes and silence from time to time, let me hear the benches and the on pitch shouting and see if my knowledge of German swear words is improving. Thank you.
  10. {name}

    Football

    I'm halfway done now. The fans are definitely less of a presence this time around, which in some ways feels like a good move, as there are only some many slo-mo shots of irate/delirious fans any viewer of any persuasion needs. Also grateful that the "if we win on Saturday, it affects the whole city" stuff isn't being repeated twelve hundred times per episode, like in Season 1. The intro of episode 3 with the soldier guy seemed a case of "we shot it so we'll use it" but tonally it was jarring in an episode that was fairly light on its feet. That being said, I do miss some of the larger, wobblier elements. The players and coaches are reduced to essentially abstract concepts and one could be easily forgiven for thinking Sunderland won their first 25 games of the season given the show's fairly unbothered approach to showing the league table and such.
  11. {name}

    Football

    Slowly sinking my teeth into Sunderland 'Til I Die 2.0, @Michael*. Charlie Methven is shaping up to be quite the character, sort of like David Brent, Richard Madeley and any Conservative Party cabinet minister rolled into one.
  12. {name}

    Football

    You're talking about a possible manager of the year candidate, you clown!
  13. {name}

    Football

    Seemed from the outside JR just couldn't quite build enough momentum to pull the club from the play-off borderline into the leading pack. A few eye catching tonkings obviously doesn't help but my impression is there were just too many dour looking 1-1 draws that would follow a sequence of good results.
  14. {name}

    Football

    Given Owen has no natural football fan constituency AND is hampered by a chronic condition of Being Boring, I somewhat understand his craven attempts at flogging a book by leaning into his much mocked lack of basic humanity (five films, was it?) and trying for a bit of petty score settling. That he remains such a resoundingly uninteresting person in spite of all this is possibly his only non-horse racing related achievement for nearly twenty years. Shearer, who presumably shaves his head with an axe, would eat him with a tea spoon.
  15. {name}

    Football

    Fair to say this is living up to its billing so far. Right on cue I see ex-Villa court jester Micah Richards is - while on the license fee shilling - making a half hearted defence (Micah Richards? Half hearted defence? Say it ain't so!) of his not-really-ex-boss. How tediously predictable the world can be sometimes. Michael, what were your thoughts on the War of the Dullards between Shearer and Owen?
  16. {name}

    Football

    The great thing about Ashley being such a world class roaster is that Bruce would/will get a fair bit of time, which means one can really feast on all the bitter press conferences and post-match delusional jibber jabber.
  17. {name}

    Football

    Steve Bruce is the favourite to be next Newcastle manager? Yes please.
  18. {name}

    Football

    "Hello Ray, it's Mark here. Your friend Steve wanted me to give you a shout out, but I didn't know what he was flaming on about because I'm not a teenage girl, Guy. So anyway, he told me Dingle Red Rovers FC won this year's Elite Invitational Pub Bantz competition. Haven't you lads got anything better to do, eh? What's next, face painting with your nan? Do me a favour, hey? Any one of you got a girlfriend? Anyway, apparently Ray wants me to grow back my moustache but you obviously haven't been paying attention because that's been gone for years and is not coming back. Underline that and staple it to your forehead, Dan. Anyway, happy Fathers Day and (squints to read) you'll never walk alone. What do you mean, I'll never walk alone? I walk alone all the time, don't I? I went into Currys this morning and the chuffin' lot of them were useless, giving me all this swot stuff mumbo jumbo, I only went in for a screwdriver...." (continues for the next nine hours)
  19. {name}

    Football

    Anywhere but a Sports Direct warehouse, I'd say. Needless to add, I was almost breathless with excitement when wild rumours of Avram Grant swooping in to replace him were briefly circulating. Incidentally, and unrelated to my forthcoming birthday, may I add that for a mere $1,000 you can get Avram to make you or a loved one a 'shout out' video (https://www.cameo.com/avramgrant)His introduction video is very enticing!
  20. {name}

    Football

    Tuned into the Europa League final for approximately ten minutes before I decided listening to Robbie Savage shouting in an otherwise morgue like atmosphere was probably not the best way of retaining one's sanity.
  21. {name}

    Football

    Live long enough and apparently you'll see everything including John flippin' Terry faithfully, creditably serve as an assistant to Dean Smith as Aston Villa pull of a improbable late season play-off steamroll with our recently 73rd choice keeper Jed Steer serving as a pivotal figure. I can't say I understand much of what's happened but I know I like it. Big love to @Michael* - gift wrapped an absurd goal and then you get thunder gazumped in such a manner. Must be sick to the teeth of Wembley, not to mention Charlton at Wembley.
  22. {name}

    Football

    This is the bit where Paul Lambert swoops in and brings about one hundred years of near-identical misery.
  23. {name}

    Football

    Commiserations on the Checkatrade Trophy, Michael. Not the one we all dream of winning as kids (4th place, isn't it?) but a trophy is a trophy. Been to a group game in said competition where the atmosphere was sub-anaemic, so credit to all involved for getting 85,000 there. Didn't need to guess who missed the crucial penalty, bless 'im.
  24. {name}

    Football

    I like that McLeish wears glasses now, he looks less like the thoughtful modern coach he wants to be and more like the frontman of a Devo cover band. I assume Fergie's office still issues a stock reference for the endless brigade of managerial mediocrities he gazumped for decades so hopefully he'll continue having misadventures for many years to come.
  25. {name}

    Football

    Fine, throw in a nine point deduction while you're at it.
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