Benitez is obviously a frustrated failed stand-up comedian. First I hear him sarcastically describe a referee as "perfect", with a line reading so bad it'd make William Shatner blush; now he's hilariously comparing Blackburn with Barcelona. OH NURSE, MY SIDES!

Looking forward to Fred's graphic diary of this Reading-Villa game. Amazing turnaround!

At 1-0 I had a stern look.

2-0 and we're playing horribly. Suddenly

everything I thought I knew had turned to mush.

Half time and I was fuming

2-1 and we're back in the game. Fight 'til the death!

2-2. Ohohoho...I think I know where this is all heading!

3-2 - hahaha, what a tease!

4-2 - sorry Reading, back to the

Championship you go!

"Fred's Diary" is fast becoming the highlight of this thread!

Oh no, Sepp - not again!

FIFA Ponders Change In The Offside Rule

FIFA president Sepp Blatter has apparently discussed the effect of scrapping the offside rule with president of the International Hockey Federation, Leandro Negre. Hockey scrapped the offside rule in their game in 1998, and the move is generally perceived as having made the game more entertaining for spectators. There has been speculation that FIFA could soon be planning some kind of similar rule change in football.

So goal line technology goes too far but a rule change that would completely change the way team's defend is acceptable?

Not to mention that it would have the opposite effect: the off-side rule allows teams to defend further up the pitch.

I presume Blatter has the entertainment of the fans in mind but as usual, he hasn't thought it through. The game would end up so stretched that pace would be the only quality worth having in your team. It'd be like stepping into a parallel universe where Theo Walcott is rated as the greatest player in the world!

Disgusted by Arsenal's massacre of Porto. Obviously I didn't watch it (why would I?) but it gives Wenger another chance to look self-righteous about his pure, wholesome team of cub scouts (and William Gallas and er, Sol Campbell, etc, etc) and their lovely style of football. Michael, Theo Walcott (and Jack Wilshere and Aaron Ramsey, even though he's Welsh and has a broken leg) are obviously the men to lead England to World Cup glory. With Gareth Barry as captain, Ben Foster in goal and David Bentley on the right-wing. Neil Warnock would be player manager, naturally.

No offside rule? Brilliant news for Ade Akinbiyi fans all over the globe.

Again, that age old debate of how to get the best out of Warnock for England comes to the forefront. Personally, I'd like to see him form a dynamic partnership with Anton Ferdinand at the back.

My provisional England squad for South Africa

GK

Ben Foster

Manuel Almunia

Kasper Schmeichel

Defense

Wayne Bridge (captain)

Phil Neville

Sol Campbell

Neil Warnock

Kieran Gibbs

Rio Ferdinand

Cashley Cole

Midfield

Piers Morgan

David Bentley

Francis Lampard, Junior

Steven Gerrard

Gareth Barry

Shaun Wright-Phillips

Aaron Ramsey

Jamie Redknapp

Paul Scholes

Jack Wilshere

Theodore Walcott of Hampshire

Strikers

Michael Owen

Simon Cowell

Jim Rosenthal

Guy Mowbray

Eduardo da Silva

Wot no Charles N'Zogbia?

Wot no Charles N'Zogbia?

According to a top FA source, he didn't relish the big games enough and lacked passion and hunger. Also, he wasn't very good at setting his stall out!

But he is good at shutting up shop. Still, fingers crossed that we have enough to take on the USA, who'll no doubt be weakened by Randy Jackson's withdrawal from the squad.

I think if the Americans can get the ball into the scorebag early in the game, we're in trouble. Their central zonal guards are pretty tough customers, especially Landon Donovan, who had three amazing spells in the West German "Bundesliga", and who last season won the World Series MVP after his overtime dramatics against Manchester. If Bruce Arena can get Rivers Cuomo and Eddie Pope fit, I think they're a franchise that can go all the way to the play-offs!

Rivers Cuomo would play on the left wing, right?

We'll have to be on our mettle as the Americans are lethal in the air. Given half a chance, Cuomo or Wegerle could easily top-body the sphere into our scorebag.

We'll have to be on our mettle as the Americans are lethal in the air. Given half a chance, Cuomo or Wegerle could easily top-body the sphere into our scorebag.

We need to retain zonal offense against their big guys (Claudio Reyna, Brett Favre, etc). Obviously their field kickers are notorious but if we cover the green plate, I think they're foot runs to be converted!

Rivers Cuomo would play on the left wing, right?

I presume Blatter has the entertainment of the fans in mind but as usual, he hasn't thought it through. The game would end up so stretched that pace would be the only quality worth having in your team. It'd be like stepping into a parallel universe where Theo Walcott is rated as the greatest player in the world!

Why would you need pace when you can hoof the ball? A reversion to the W-M formation anyone? Oh Sepp, how retro!

AND this is a blessing for Pippo lovers world wide! No more shall his greatness be limited by petty rules to give other strikers of lesser ability a fighting chance! We shall witness greatness again!!! Take that Rooney!