100%A.B.B. Posted December 19, 2006 Posted December 19, 2006 deleted - fine you people are so PC I wanna know what the joke was. Pm it to me! I do 2 Quote
alanthedrivein Posted March 16, 2007 Posted March 16, 2007 Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle?because his wife died.and A 17 year old kid is walking down a street when a serious Milf catches his eye, blonde looking about 40, massive jugs, call him over, she gets out her breasts and encorages his to nibble, as he does white milk-like substance comes from the teat and the boy gets excited, gobbles more and more, he stops and asks the woman? What's going on actually, why are you lactating?and she says, that's not Milk, that's cancer. Quote
PrettyDeadThings Posted March 17, 2007 Posted March 17, 2007 LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ew, so wrong, however I'm T R A S H E D so I find most thing's funny! Quote
ninanina19 Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 A little word from Johnny to start the day..During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.""That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner tableAnd you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show Us your good manners?"I would say: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner." Quote
ninanina19 Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 Divorce Letter !! Dear Husband:I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together!Have a great life! > Your EX-Wife*********************************************************** ********************************Dear Ex-WifeNothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.Signed Rich As Hell and Free! Quote
The Joker Posted May 28, 2007 Posted May 28, 2007 The 1st story 2nd : OUUUCH !!!!! That hurts !!!! Quote
horaz Posted May 29, 2007 Posted May 29, 2007 ahhahaahhahahhaaaagreat. thanks for these funny stories XXDD Quote
Hyperion Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 You can always count on Late Night With Conan O'Brien for a few cracks at Paris Hilton. It seems the analogies section always ends with a Paris Hilton joke.Final episode of "The Sopranos": lots of guys get aggressively whacked, resulting in a messy loss of bodily fluids::Paris Hilton:popular hotel heiress Quote
The Joker Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Those are nice Maddog Here is the poopie list Ghost Poopie The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain. Second Wave Poopie This happens when you're done Poopie-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to Poopie some more. Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke. Gassy Poopie It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing. Drinker Poopie The kind of Poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet. Lincoln Log Poopie The kind of Poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush. Corn Poopie Self-explanatory. Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie Poopie The kind where you want to Poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times. Spinal Tap Poopie That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways. Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump) The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water. Liquid Poopie The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl. Mexican Poopie It smells so bad your nose burns. The Surprise Poopie You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......a Poopie!!! The Dangling Poopie This Poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose. Quote
Fashion_Princess Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 I was looking for that one! ^ I was thinking "I can find it on the other forum" and they deleted everything, but thanks for posting it again. Quote
The Joker Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 The poopie list ?!! I once posted it in AAOF, but i was waaaaay yesterday. I was LMAO when i first read it Quote
Fashion_Princess Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 That's were I was looking. But I couldn't find the old jokes thread and I didn't feel like looking on every page, but then i came here and found it! Quote
The Joker Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Traffic Sign Story :rofl: Read it in order... Quote
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