Michael*

2.8

2.6

Miranda x5

17. Ellen Page 18. Ziyi Zhang 19. Mia Kirshner 20. Monica Bellucci 21. Minka Kelly 22. Freida Pinto 23. Emmanuelle Chriqui 24. Rebecca Romijn

Well done Dortmund - first league title since 2002, I believe. So the wave of renewed optimism after beating Wigan is now back down to a dribble following Saturday's game. Sorry Brucey but injury crisis or not, no Premier League side worth their salt should be shipping three at home to Fulham. Between the lack of a recognised striker in our ranks and the pathetic state of the back four, I'll be genuinely shocked if we manage another point in our remaining three games.

Good lord, she's wonderful.

Sasha Lips: 9 Smile: 9 Hair: 7 Eyes: 8 Nose: 7 Abs: 6 Cleavage: 7 Butt: 8.5 Legs: 8 *Runs off to Sasha's thread to investigate further*

4.5

2.6

2.8

Ming Xi Anais Pouliot [8] Rianne Ten Haken [7] Mayra Suarez [10] Du Juan [12] Kinga Rajzak

1. Milla Jovovich 2. Jessica Stroup 3. Candice Accola 4. Emma Roberts 5. Cate Blanchett 6. Zooey Deschanel 7. Sienna Miller 8. Kristin Kreuk

Petra [4] Clara [1]

If there's an out-and-out striker in European football currently hotter than Falcao, I haven't seen him. Should they hang on to their better players and improve defensively next year, Porto could do some serious damage in the Champions League.

Revlon: 2.5 Logic would dictate that this is a fairly recent one, yet it feels kinda dated to me. Cute enough, though. Armani: 4 From a visual point of view, I liked everything about it and could have happily watched for an hour. That hour however would have probably gone by without me knowing or indeed caring what the product was. So for that reason, I'm afraid I can't give it a perfect score. Garnier: 2 Unspectacular but got the point across in a straightforward, inoffensive kind of way. Prada: 2.5 Had a certain quirkiness to it that I didn't really mind.

Marine Vacth [8] Inguna Butane [12] Tyra Banks Zazoe van Lieshout [7] Zuzana Gregorova [10] Catalina Otalvaro

Petra [3] Lais [3]

9. Sophie Marceau 10. Virginie Ledoyen 11. Izabella Scorupco 12. Camilla Belle 13. Natalie Martinez 14. Laetitia Casta 15. Chyler Leigh 16. Amy Acker

Thank goodness for little Leo. Without his cracking brace, there wouldn't have been any actual football played last night. Awful, awful game.

Petra [1] Adriana [3]

1. Heather Graham 2. Emmy Rossum 3. Ziyi Zhang 4. Famke Janssen 5. Eva Green 6. Rebecca Romijn 7. Thandie Newton 8. Rose Byrne

Covergirl: 5 I can't truthfully say I'm a Drew fan but in terms of visuals, lighting and vibrant colours, this ad is as good as it gets. Britney: 1.5 Didn't appear to be selling anything but Britney, and I'm afraid I'm not buying. Estee Lauder: 1.5 Not completely without merit but overall, tremendously dated in virtually every department. Valentino: 3 Perhaps lacking in substance but I liked the colours a lot and the model looks great.

This. 1.5 each.

1.5

Carla Lips: 6 Smile: 7 Hair: 8 Eyes: 9 Nose: 7 Abs: 7.5 Cleavage: 7 Butt: 7 Legs: 8