Michael*

And another Hives number... Also thought this guy was pretty good... [media=]http://youtu.be/hzmYIYAKXVM

^ A line-up not to be missed on Jools Holland this week, and hopefully more to come on Friday. [media=]http://youtu.be/61wYVTTirJo

*Cowers in anticipation of inevitable Heskey signing*

After years of burning through more high-profile managers than you can shake a lucrative contract at, Abramovich finally has his ultimate dream delivered - by a caretaker manager he doesn't appear to want and a squad in near-terminal decline. Funny old game, innit?

I don't think I was fully prepared for just how different the update was going to be, but the more I look around, the more I like it. Certain things will take some getting used to (we Brits are still upset about the time Marathon became Snickers), but we'll get there. Give it a month, we'll all have forgotten what the old forum even looked like. Promise!

Having witnessed the infamous Sunderland/Charlton play-off final first hand at Wembley, I always sympathise with the losing team whoever they may be, but that was especially tough on Blackpool, who showed real craft and excellent movement throughout. While my head says that West Ham finished third and therefore deserve to go up, I can't honestly say I'll relish the prospect of seeing Big Sam and his 'percentage' game back in the Premier League.

Hopefully, Max Payne 3 will hold me for a while.

Round 103... Natasha Barnard vs. Angela Lindvall Natasha Barnard [0] Angela Lindvall [0]

Round 110 Julia Anja Miranda Erin Round 111 Karlie - Aqua Karlie - Hero

1-2 Barbara Palvin 3-4 Gisele Bundchen 5-6 Josie Maran 7-8 Alyssa Miller 9-10 Clara Alonso 11-12 Marloes Horst 13-14 Christy Turlington 15-16 Alejandra Alonso

On an imaginary sliding scale of things that cost Dalglish his job, I'd probably place his deployment of Luis Suarez as the focal point of Liverpool's attack above the signings of the north east all-stars (Messrs Carroll, Downing and Henderson). A tremendous link-up player, yes, but grossly overrated as a finisher. If Suarez had converted even a fraction of his missed chances this season, I believe Kenny would have been looking at a comfortable top six finish, easy.

For some reason, though The Addams Family and The Munsters were both shown over here, the Dark Shadows TV series never actually made it to British shores, so I'll be going into the movie with little knowledge of the original source material. Still, I've seen enough in the trailer to suggest that it'll be good fun.

^And so, Operation: Let's Not Embarrass Ourselves begins in earnest! Obviously, a couple of mildly notable omissions there but it really only goes to show what a decidedly average pool of players we have to choose from. No-one gave England a chance before the squad announcement (or even before Roy's appointment) anyway, so the absences of Ferdinand and Carrick will, generally speaking, do little to change the outlook one way or the other. Much has been made of Downing's price tag and solitary assist this season, though in his defence he's probably assisted in about 18 Suarez shots that have hit the woodwork. Still, assuming that Hodgson has a plan and that he's picked the players he thinks can implement it successfully, this selection could represent the end of the 'let's just chuck all our decent players together and hope for the best' approach, which is alright with me.

Doutzen Sui Lais Julia Lily

SF1 Miranda Kerr SF2 Gisele Bundchen 5-8 Doutzen Kroes 5-8 Josie Maran 9-12 Marloes Horst 9-12 Shanina Shaik 13-16 Christy Turlington 13-16 Alejandra Alonso

Avengers. Next on the list, Dark Shadows.

Fred, after double glory for Dortmund and the promise of better things to come at Aston Villa, one could be forgiven for thinking that your week couldn't possibly get any better. Well, with victory in the best leagues in the world™, I guess it just did. Excellent work! (Y) Maybe it's finally time to relax my age-old 'no Mags' policy.

Decorum, thy name is Carlos Tevez... ...Or is it Steve Kean?

^Looking forward to both, though I must say I'm happy enough listening to 'Blunderbuss' for the moment. Only the tracks played on by Jack's female backing band though, obviously.

Emmy Rossum [6] Bérénice Marlohe [7]

Let's delay the inevitable... Natasha Barnard [7] Carola Remer [2]

Football! Bloody hell x10. Nothing like a tense final game to bring out Joey Barton's 'philosophical' side. A brilliantly ridiculous or ridiculously brilliant (take your pick) ending to what I'm sure will be labelled the Premier League's 'best season ever' by excitable rogues the length and breadth of the country. I don't usually expect managers to be sacked so soon after the end of the season but regardless of the timing, McLeish can surely have few complaints. If you insist on bringing such a lacklustre brand of football to a new club, you should at least be expected to implement it well. Respect as well to Sky Sports News for their choice of photo on the 'breaking news' graphic. He looks like he's been sent to the naughty step.

Henderson developed at such a tremendous rate during his time here that he was almost certainly due a lull. Is he ready to play every week for such a high-pressure club? Probably not, but he'll get better and the increased expectations that accompany big money transfers subside given time. I honestly think he has it in him to become another Gerrard. If for some reason he doesn't make the grade at Anfield, though, I wouldn't mind having him back at Sunderland. At a reduced fee of course.