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The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread


TheBaronOfFratton
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Come on, Baron... Didn't you watch Top Model All Stars? Lingerie, even granny panties, is for one's husband solely and thus a big no no, whereas bikinis, which you wear at the beach and totally do not look sexual in, is ok.

Easy to understand, isn't it?

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Come on, Baron... Didn't you watch Top Model All Stars? Lingerie, even granny panties, is for one's husband solely and thus a big no no, whereas bikinis, which you wear at the beach and totally do not look sexual in, is ok.

bAJTAERz6Z8

Easy to understand, isn't it?

OMG, when I read Kylie's tweet I thought EXACTLY the same thing! :laugh: GMTA ;)

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How would Victoria's Secret Angels shape up if they gained 100 pounds each? Models are given the FatBooth treatment.

They are beacons of perfect female form, with stunning looks, flat stomachs and legs that go on forever. Until now, that is.

Taking a lead from MTV's Fora, images of a bevvy of beautiful Victoria's Secret Angels have been given the FatBooth treatment, re-imagining the gorgeous women with 100 pounds of extra weight on their frames. It's not scientific, clearly, but the smart phone app, which manipulates images with comical results, delivers an almost unrecognisable set of girls to those we're used to. As MTV says, 'some cheekbones defy FatBoothing' while others come off a little less statuesquely after the digital make-over. Chins are a trouble zone, with the app honing in on the area and adding rolls of extra fat around hitherto shapely jawlines. Eyes, lips and noses remain largely unchanged, if a little widened.

There are clearly some software hiccups at work - Miranda Kerr, Angel incarnate, is given an extra chunk of left cheek, unfortunately, while Karlie Kloss has a section of her right chin area unceremoniously removed. The app clearly takes to others a little better. Lily Aldridge suddenly looks like Alessandra Ambrosio's doppelganger, with an identical pout, while both Candice Swanepoel and Erin Heatherton look like the cats that got the cream. And many of the other girls look almost believable - even a little pleased with themselves - in their new guises. It's a far cry from the models' much-hyped recent show, where they took to the catwalk in fine, un-digitalised form.

Wearing glamorous, over-the-top lingerie and variously bejewelled angel wings, the girls strode to the sounds of Kanye West, Nicki Minaj and Maroon 5 at the CBS-filmed show. The annual extravaganza sees an outing of some eye-wateringly expensive bra and knicker combinations, with Miranda Kerr's diamond-laden blue Fantasy Treasure bra valued at an astonishing $2.5million. Cheered on from the sidelines by husband Orlando Bloom, the Australian model looked a world apart from her unflattering FatBooth-alter ego. Try hard as the app does, though, there seems to be nothing that will alter the playful come hither expression of a Victoria's Secret Angel.

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Adriana literally looks like a gerbil

Candice is absolutely frightening lolol

Behati still manages to look cute ... wut?

Lilly looks like a typical Jersey Housewife

Karlie lypo victim gone horribly wrong

Chanel still beautiful

Ale fat man who occasionally wears woman's clothing? o.o (not hating, love ale!)

:rofl:

Go Behati!

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Oh no they did not!

That's completely unforgivable! You just don't do that. You don't. Not now. Not ever. I seriously can't right now. That shit ain't cute. Like not cute at all. Like I can't even at that. I really really really can't. I'm like hyperventilating right now. I can't breathe. (And yeah, I can type without breathing, it's called priorities biatch, you jelly?) I seriously need to compose myself but really I haven't been this offended since they blurred out that one chick's butt on TV!

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They.

Put In.

Fucking.

Karlie Kloss.

And.

They.

Fucking!

Forgot.

Lindsay.

I'm out.

post-36478-0-1446084868-17441_thumb.gif

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Come on, Baron... Didn't you watch Top Model All Stars? Lingerie, even granny panties, is for one's husband solely and thus a big no no, whereas bikinis, which you wear at the beach and totally do not look sexual in, is ok.

Easy to understand, isn't it?

^Thank you for clearing that up for me - I feel like such an idiot now! :doofywave:

And if that wasn't enough clarification, then VSKylie herself has posted this happy festive picture that is in no way provocative and is totally cool with 'God' - because there's no bras there see? No siree:

post-11221-0-1446084868-95807_thumb.jpg :ermm:

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How would Victoria's Secret Angels shape up if they gained 100 pounds each? Models are given the FatBooth treatment.

^Oh my! :rofl:
Ale fat man who occasionally wears woman's clothing? o.o (not hating, love ale!)
^SPOT ON! (Although to me they all look a little like they came from that Garbage Pail Kids movie. :o )
They.

Put In.

Fucking.

Karlie Kloss.

And.

They.

Fucking!

Forgot.

Lindsay.

I'm out.

^I appreciate that you feel snubbed on your sweetheart's behalf, but I reckon it's probably for the better in retrospect! It's liable to give me nightmares...
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You're so silly Baron, of course God thinks bikinis are fine! Lingerie is for hookers who don't care about God or their husbands

VSKylie is right about all she said, I'm so happy that she is trying to separate herself from Victoria's Secret ... You're doing great VSKylie :heart:

Don't be hater. It's just that unlike Erin, she's not quite the nerd and thus is unable to separate herself from VS, despite her best efforts.

post-36478-0-1446084870-89318_thumb.png

She's trying hard, can't you see?

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Don't be hater. It's just that unlike Erin, she's not quite the nerd and thus is unable to separate herself from VS, despite her best efforts.
^I should have guessed that - since I've never seen her wearing glasses nor holding an iPad! <_<

Maybe VSKylie just needs to find herself a new sponsor - one that has the funds and capacity to employ top-notch boffins and eggheads who are able to crack that evil twitter's pernicious settings? I suggest MaximButOnlyBikiniNOTLingerieKylie, or God'sCopKylie or I♥BabyJesusKylie. :Angel:

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I didn't quote the article b/c it is long. It talks about VS using the labor of unpaid children. Not surprising but still sad :(

Victoria’s Secret Revealed in Child Picking Burkina Faso Cotton

EDIT: Here's The Frisky's summary of the article...

Shocking: Victoria’s Secret is a house of lies! The cotton used for their underwear, which they deem on the labels as “fair trade” and “good for women, good for the children who depend on them,” has been outed by Bloomberg News. Turns out their methods aren’t quite as good or as fair as the company claims; in fact, their cotton wares are sourced by abused and unpaid children in Burkina Faso. Excellent! VS has been using cotton from the west African country for four years. Ironically, they launched a line of underwear in 2009 that “boasted about the cotton’s origins, as well as how purchases would improve the lives of Burkinabé cotton pickers.” To the brand’s credit, they’re upholding that they were unaware of the practices, and are “engaging with stakeholders to fully investigate this matter.” Get the full story here on Bloomberg. Fair warning: it’s pretty brutal. Now, put down those 3-for-$10 thongs. You don’t want them anyway!
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