TheBaronOfFratton

LIMA DEMANDS BILLION DOLLAR BRA Second-Coming supermodel and undisputed favourite of EVERYBODY, Adriana Lima, has told VS that her comeback won't happen unless she gets a BILLION dollar bra. Apparently, these days, a million dollar bra isn't quite good enough. Last year, even VS no-hoper and deflated California raisin Marisa Miller had a million dollar bra - and for Lima that just won't cut it. "I, like, wanna biggest big bra better than ever everybody else bra!" sputtered Lima incoherently from her golden throne yesterday. And what Lima wants, Lima gets. VS dogsbody and put-under Cinderella of lingerie Charlotte Stockdale was assigned to get the perfect ingredients that totalled a breast-shuddering BILLION dollar's worth of materials. "What people want in a recession is a hideous display of inconsequential and unnecessary tat on a bra" said Stockdale from her workshop hovel. "People love to see gaudy bling worth SO much money for 10 seconds on a stage when you can't really tell what is the BILLION dollar bra and what isn't..." The bra will reputedly be made from the Turin Shroud, dragon's teeth, and Michael Jackson's silver glove. And we have a sneak peek here:

KYLIE CLONE CONTROVERSY Sightings are coming in of the rumoured Kylie clones for this year's VSFS. Sources stated some months ago that evil mastermind Ed Razek had funded a laboratory especially for creating several clones of the "Newest Angel" Kylie Bisutti in time for the October filming. According to twisted genuis Razek; "EVERYONE loves Kylie. We asked America and America spoke. We had a 98% turnout for that damn vote, and 100% of them voted for Kylie. If there's one thing I know it's what the people want - and they want Kylie EVERYWHERE. I'm just doing my bit for America. I'm just being a patriot." Reports suggest that the Kylie clones will model an entire segment of the show, titled KYLIE PLANET. "We had tried to just change Kylie really quickly 10 times backstage," said Razek's henchman Monica Mitro "but it soon became apparent that that wouldn't work. Ed rubbed his hands together evily and suggested clones - and we just ran with it..." 5 clones have been seen near the VS lab in Bumfuck, Idaho. They are all clearly based on Kylie, but each one has a subtle difference much like this famed multi-faceted model's many much-loved looks. "It will be a simpering spectacular," said one idiot. "I for one can't wait to see Kylie because that is what I've been told that I want." Rumours that Australian Pop-Princess Kylie Minogue would be singing at this year's show have been denied. "No," said stooge Mitro "that's just our Kylie performing the musical number too. It's what America wants. What are you suggesting, that we're not doing what America wants?"

HEIDI OUTDOES HERSELF ON CATWALK Supermodel AND mother (I mean like WOW - she does both???) Heidi Klum, managed to top even her own amazing antics from the '09 VSFS by actually giving birth on the runway this year. Last year Heidi, 52, walked the famous VS runway half an hour after giving birth to her 10th son Doomand Klum. But the overachieving German was never one to shy away from a challenge, and this year decided to go one better by deciding to time her contractions to the precise moment of the opening of the 4th segment of the show for a spectacular finale. Clad in a red dress, Klum waved at the astonished crowd before laying on her back and popping out a new daughter to a chorus of applause. Then, in a flurry of doctors, midwives and stylists - the newest Klum was quickly dolled up in a specially designed Charlotte Stockdale tutu and headpiece and, like her model mum, took to the catwalk like a pro. After the show Heidi expressed her pride at her new daughter's debut, and some milk...

ADRIANA'S GREAT VS COMEBACK SHOCKER News has come in about the upcoming plans to celebrate "Greatest Ever VS Angel™" Adriana Lima's magnificent VS comeback. According to sources, this year's VSFS is to be retitled The Adriana Lima '10 Comeback Special in celebration of the fact that last year, UNBELIEVABLY a whole VSFS went by without an appearance of the "chosen one" as she was busy giving birth in a manger in Bethlehem. These same made-up sources state that Adriana, clad in black leather, will sing many of her greatest hits in a an intimate setting before returning to the runway with a specially designed backdrop, especially leaked to us: (Artists Impression) Further details to follow.

There is now a place for serious discussions about VS and the VSFS and "Angels" and contracts. THIS IS NOT IT! Please post your less po-faced and blatantly unofficial stuff here. If you are privy to secret information from Ed Razek, or are Alessandra's special Facebook friend then maybe this isn't the place for you. This is a thread for ill-informed facts and ludicrous conjecture. You can make up your own "Angels" here - what the hell do we know anyway?!! Everything has it's place - this isn't a critique on the "Official" thread. Maybe this is just where the other stuff ends up... :evil:

As per Joe > Average's request, no better back except sweet baby back ribs...

I've had to link this one because of SHEERNESS, but it's a cracker! Can't put my finger on it exactly, but I think it's the mix of Ana Beatriz's innate haughtiness but downright dirty looks; and the fact that (although probably accidently) one thigh-high stocking has slipped down her leg, and that makes my mind wander in all sorts of ways...

It's not Tenshi No Koi - but here Nozomi-chan makes an appearance on some comedy/drama called BABY!. No idea what's going on, but she turns up at 1:37 in a school uniform; if that doesn't pique your interest...

^Seems it used to be much busier and more popular around the Japanese/Korean females threads... But when you say things like that it makes (seemingly) posting into oblivion worthwhile! And great new set, by the way.

More "Privacy"( !):

^Eyes, pout, alabaster limbs and a rinky-dink body... Scans from the latest Yukōrin PB! (And what all these shoots were from!)

^Well I'm glad you liked it anyway! :lost: I think your proposed battlefield gives Doutzen the advantage though. Slippery floors and confined quarters necessitates a close proximity tussle. Grappling and wrestling will win this - and therefore gives her the edge...

^Aye. When I click on it, it goes into my post - previous to Joe's reply... But it is nice to be meeting you, MauiKane!

^Uh-huh-huh! Well, to that guy who works down the chip shop, or at the supermarket checkout, or wherever you think he may be - Happy Birthday, King...

And some class:

^Whenever I do I'll post them here! All a bit Take My Breath Away, playing guitar on an air-strip :

^Is he now? <_< Hmph! Found a couple more elsewhere, but still no extra info about them:

What started out as just a little gentle ribbing about the loss of a 'VS Angel' contract (allegedly, let's not ruin the mood) - and the requisite flicking of wet towels as the girls gamboled about, quickly degenerated into something far more tawdry at the remark about early career "decisions" and how different their paths had been to get to this point... And who, pray tell, was the wag who had emptied the plunge-pool of water and cunningly filled it with warm oil? As soon as Marisa had pushed Doutzen in there, at the mere mention of Perfect 10, the ruse was discovered as Ms. Kroes attempted to clamber out, slipping and sliding in nude glory. Grabbing an extant ankle, as Marisa skipped about at the side - taunting the Netherlander, Doutzen managed to haul the Californian into the viscous substance alongside her. What followed was a melee of flailing oiled limbs and bouncing body parts as both ladies tried valiantly to gain any sort of purchase against the slick tiles and sheer surfaces. Eventually they helped each other to the side with an impromptu attempt at piggybacking which proved very indiscreet. Exhausted, slumped in two separate pools of oil and sweat - and any modesty long since lost - they wriggled to the shower cubicle to wash the substance off of them. But a further misunderstanding regarding a "wears the soap?" joke, resulted in an resumption of hostility. Here Doutzen's superior stamina and milk-fed physique proved the deciding factor - as Marisa was pinned to the floor under a sturdy thigh. Doutzen wins!

Rhea - Once again, sexy simplicity. Nay a balloon nor plastic surgical brace in sight... Tyra - Dye her hair white and this is exactly how I envisage Storm in Weather Goddess mode. Ines - Love the little skirt, undecided on the front strap... Stephanie - I know some of you are massive fans of this 'Clash Of The Titans' style. I'm not one of them. Karen - What was it this year with girls auditioning to be in a Meat Loaf video???

Alright so it's not that exciting really, just another 'Who Is She?' thing. I'd forgotten about this girl, but my curiosity has been piqued again. Alas, I have lost the details of the photographer - but I feel pretty confident in saying that he was from South Africa. So, in turn, she may well be too... Anyway, here she is: Any information gratefully received!

Mini - I like these one-pieces. They seem to be out of fashion now... Caroline - What's up with teal, BigPasta? Granted it wouldn't be my first choice, but preferable to all that boring white and gold... Ingrid - I think my lady might wear this when relaxing of an afternoon in our Swiss log cabin - sated on hot cocoa and XO brandy. Of course this is before the inevitable jacuzzi, and late evenings of fondue and the more outré of chosen outfits! Trish - I don't know, it's a little try-hard don't you think? Kind of like those faux-punk bands with their bit too manicured black nails and perfectly coiffured "messy" hair. <_< Stephanie - If you're going to do that - do it better than a spray-painted doily.

Young Gangan No.02, Jan '10:

It may be a little late - but I sure do appreciate the sentiment. MERRY CHRISTMAS from Mai: ...

Sweet Black Angel: :heart: