MOVIE QUOTES

[maddog107]

Best movie ever....

Tyler Durden: [pointing at an emergency instruction manual on a plane] You know why they put oxygen masks on planes?

Narrator: So you can breath.

Tyler Durden: Oxygen gets you high. In a catastrophic emergency, you're taking giant panicked breaths. Suddenly you become euphoric, docile. You accept your fate. It's all right here. Emergency water landing - 600 miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows.

Narrator: That's, um... That's an interesting theory.

-------------------------------

Marla Singer: My God. I haven't been fucked like that since grade school.

----------------------------------

Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

------------------------------------

[maddog107]

Office space...

Peter Gibbons: [about the plan to steal from Initech] Before we go any further, all right, we have to swear to God, Allah, that nobody knows about this, all right? No family members, no girlfriends, nobody.

Samir: Of course.

Michael Bolton: Agreed

Lawrence: [from the next apartment through wall] Don't worry man. I won't tell anyone about this either.

Michael Bolton: Who the fuck is that?

Peter Gibbons: Uh, don't worry about him. He's cool.

------------------

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?

Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man, two chicks at the same time, man.

Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?

Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, cause chicks dig a dude with money.

Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.

Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.

Peter Gibbons: Good point.

Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?

Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?

Lawrence: Well yeah.

Peter Gibbons: Nothing.

Lawrence: Nothing, huh?

Peter Gibbons: I'd relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.

Lawrence: Well you don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Just take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.

[Capt Snow]

American Psycho

ATM Machine: Feed me a Stray cat

[Don]

MORTICIAN: Who's that then?

CUSTOMER: I don't know.

MORTICIAN: Must be a king.

CUSTOMER: Why?

MORTICIAN: He hasn't got shit all over him.

----

ARTHUR: Old woman!

DENNIS: Man!

ARTHUR: Man. Sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?

DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven.

ARTHUR: I-- what?

DENNIS: I'm thirty-seven. I'm not old.

ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you 'Man'.

DENNIS: Well, you could say 'Dennis'.

ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called 'Dennis'.

DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?

ARTHUR: I did say 'sorry' about the 'old woman', but from the behind you looked--

DENNIS: What I object to is that you automatically treat me like an inferior!

ARTHUR: Well, I am King!

DENNIS: Oh, King, eh, very nice. And how d'you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By 'anging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress with the--

WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh! How d'you do?

ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whose castle is that?

WOMAN: King of the who?

ARTHUR: The Britons.

WOMAN: Who are the Britons?

ARTHUR: Well, we all are. We are all Britons, and I am your king.

WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective.

DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship: a self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--

WOMAN: Oh, there you go bringing class into it again.

DENNIS: That's what it's all about. If only people would hear of--

ARTHUR: Please! Please, good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that castle?

WOMAN: No one lives there.

ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?

WOMAN: We don't have a lord.

ARTHUR: What?

DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,...

ARTHUR: Yes.

DENNIS: ...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting...

ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

DENNIS: ...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,...

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: ...but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major--

ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!

WOMAN: Order, eh? Who does he think he is? Heh.

ARTHUR: I am your king!

WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.

ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.

WOMAN: Well, how did you become King, then?

ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,...

[angels sing]

...her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.

[singing stops]

That is why I am your king!

DENNIS: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

ARTHUR: Shut up!

DENNIS: I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

ARTHUR: Shut up, will you? Shut up!

DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.

ARTHUR: Shut up!

DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!

DENNIS: Oh, what a give-away. Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about. Did you see him repressing me? You saw it, didn't you?

----

You can quote practically the whole movie.. you might as well just pick out favorite scenes instead of favorite lines.

[Blade102384]

Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith

(just after killing general grivious with a blaster)

Obi-Wan: How primative

[Guest quasicartes]

FIGHT CLUB

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."

"We're the middle children of history.... no purpose or place. We have no Great War, no Great Depression. Our great war is a spiritual war. Our great depression is our lives."

"The things you own end up owning you. It's only after you lose everything that you're free to do anything."

[BonesawMcgraw]

I didn't read everything but I don't think there was any from Pulp Fiction. What the hell? Heres some...

At Jack-Rabbit Slims

Long silence...

Mrs. Marcellus - "Don't you hate that?"

Vincent - "Hate what?"

"Unconfortable silences. Why do we feel its neccessary to yack about bullshit in order to be comfortable?"

Vincent - "I don't know, thats a good question."

"Thats when you know you have really found someone special... when you can just shut.. the.. fuck.. up for a minute and comfortably share silence"

Vincent - "I don't think were quite there yet, but don't feel bad we just met each other."

Theres many many many many many many more good quotes in that movie but thats enough for now.

[OriginalSin]

"frankly my dear i don't give a damn" -gwtw

^^^^^ that pretty much sums up my life

paraphrase:

there have been two accidents in my life. you are by far the worst -frida

[Guest quasicartes]

Dr. No (1962)

Dr. No: East, West, just points of the compass, each as stupid as the other.

Miss Moneypenny: James! Where have you been? I've been searching all over London for you.

[Picks up phone.]

Miss Moneypenny: 007 is here sir.

[slaps Bond's hand away from the papers on her desk.]

James Bond: Moneypenny! What gives?

Miss Moneypenny: Me, given an ounce of encouragement. You've never taken me to dinner looking like this. You've never taken me to dinner, period.

James Bond: I would, you know. Only I would be court-martialed for tampering with government property.

Miss Moneypenny: Flattery will get you nowhere... but don't stop trying.

----------------------------------------------------

Goldfinger (1964)

[After knocking a lamp into a bathtub to electrocute a bad guy.]

James Bond: Shocking! Positively shocking!

Pussy Galore: You like a close shave, don't you?

[After learning Pussy Galore alerted the authorities]

James Bond: I must have appealed to her maternal instincts.

James Bond: My dear girl, there are some things that just aren't done, such as drinking Dom Perignon '53 above the temperature of 38 degrees Fahrenheit. That's just as bad as listening to the Beatles without earmuffs!

Pussy Galore: My name is Pussy Galore.

James Bond: I must be dreaming.

James Bond: You're a woman of many parts, Pussy!

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Moonraker (1979)

Hugo Drax: Look after Mr. Bond. See that some harm comes to him.

Corinne: The Drax residence. Every stone brought from France. Cute, isn't it?

James Bond: Magnificent. Why didn't he buy the Eiffel tower as well?

Corinne: He did, but the French government refused him an export permit.

[bond runs his hands up the Hostess' leg]

Hostess Private Jet: Any higher, Mr Bond, my ears will pop.

------------------------------------------------------------

Thunderball (1965)

After making love to the evil Fiona Volpe.]

James Bond: You don't think I enjoyed what we did this evening, do you? What I did tonight was for Queen and country!

James Bond: My dear, uncooperative Domino.

Domino: How do you know that? How do you know my friends call me Domino?

James Bond: It's on the bracelet on your ankle.

Domino: So... what sharp little eyes you've got.

James Bond: Wait 'til you get to my teeth.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

A View to a Kill (1985)

James Bond: Hello. My name is James St. John Smythe. I'm English.

Stacey Sutton: I never would have guessed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

[To Tiffany while he's in bed with her]

James Bond: Presumably I'm the condemned man and obviously you're the hearty breakfast.

James Bond: That's a nice little nothing you're almost wearing.

Plenty O'Toole: Hi, I'm Plenty.

James Bond: But of course you are.

Plenty O'Toole: Plenty O'Toole.

James Bond: Named after your father perhaps?

James Bond: Weren't you a blonde when I came in?

Tiffany Case: Could be.

James Bond: I tend to notice little things like that -- whether a girl is a blonde or a brunette.

[To a rat.]

James Bond: Well, one of us smells like a tart's handkerchief.

[sniffs]

James Bond: I'm afraid it's me. Sorry, old boy.

Sir Donald Munger: You have been on holiday, I understand. Relaxing, I hope?

James Bond: Oh, hardly relaxing, but most satisfying.

[Plenty O'Toole is found face down in a swiming pool]

Tiffany Case: She's...

James Bond: Dead. Supposed to be you. The next link in the "pipeline".

Tiffany Case: What are you talking about?!

James Bond: Poor Plenty must have stumbled in here looking for you.

Tiffany Case: I don't believe you!

James Bond: A dentist is dead in South Africa. That little old lady, in Amsterdam. Shady got his last night. They've missed me once. And you're next. Now, who's your connection?

Tiffany Case: You sound like a cop-

James Bond: Who's your connection!?

Tiffany Case: All I know, is voices on the phone. They got me this place and told me to wait for further instructions.

James Bond: You'll find that rather difficult to hear underwater.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Russia with Love (1963)

[Moneypenny, M, and other officials are listening to Bond's taped interview of Tatiana Romanova]

Tatiana: The mechanism is... Oh James, James... Will you make love to me all the time in England?

James Bond: Day and night. Go on about the mechanism.

Tatiana: [Handing Bond her fake engagement ring] Here you are, in case you ever need it again.

James Bond: Oh yes, all government property has to be accounted for. But as I said before, we won't always be working on the company's time, will we?

Tatiana: No. Oh, James! Behave yourself, we are being filmed!

James Bond: Oh no, not again.

M: Too many free radicals. That's your problem.

James Bond: "Free radicals," sir?

M: Yes. They're toxins that destroy the body and the brain, caused by eating too much red meat and white bread and too many dry martinis!

James Bond: Then I shall cut out the white bread, sir.

M: Oh, you'll do more than THAT, 007. From now on you will suffer a strict regimen of diet and exercise; we shall PURGE those toxins from you!

James Bond: Shrublands?

M: You got it!

Fatima: You're quite a man, Mr. Bond, but I am a superior woman. Guess where the first shot goes?

[Fatima lowers the gun towards James' crotch.]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

You Only Live Twice (1967)

[Kissy says she will be sleeping elsewhere. Bond shoves his oyster dinner aside.]

James Bond: Well, I won't need these.

Helga Brandt: I've got you now.

James Bond: Well enjoy yourself.

[About to make love to Helga Brandt]

James Bond: Oh the things I do for England.

[being bathed by Tanaka's women.]

Tiger Tanaka: You know what it is about you that fascinates them, don't you? It's the hair on your chest. All Japanese men have beautiful bare skin.

James Bond: Ancient Japanese proverb, "Bird never make nest in bare tree."

[James is in bed with a Chinese woman]

James Bond: Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?

Chinese Girl: You think we better, huh?

James Bond: No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar.

Chinese Girl: Darling, I give you very best duck.

[Choosing a masseuse.]

James Bond: If it's all the same to you, I'll just take this little old lady here.

Tiger Tanaka: Good choice, she's very sexyful.

Tiger Tanaka: Rule number one: never do anything yourself when someone else can do it for you.

James Bond: And rule two?

Tiger Tanaka: Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.

James Bond: I just might retire here.

-------------------------------------------------------

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

M: Miss Moneypenny, where is 007 now?

Moneypenny: He's on a mission sir. In Austria.

M: Well, tell him to pull out. Immediately!

[scene cuts to Bond making love to a woman]

James Bond: Mmm, maybe I misjudged Stromberg. Any man who drinks Dom Perignon '52 can't be all bad.

-------------------------------------------------------------

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)

Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Hey! You're that english secret agent! From England!

James Bond: How will I recognize him?

Andrea Anders: He's tall, dark and thin.

James Bond: So is my aunt!

Francisco Scaramanga: I like a girl in a bikini, no concealed weapons.

James Bond: Who'd want to put a contract on me?

M: Humiliated chefs! Outraged tailors! Jealous husbands! The list is endless!

James Bond: I am now aiming precisely at your groin. So speak or forever hold your piece.

James Bond: Miss Anders... I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.

James Bond: Did you see who shot Fairbanks?

Saida: No, I was in his arms, my eyes were closed.

James Bond: Well, at least he died happy.

[Blade102384]

The World is Not Enough:

Pierce Brosnan: (Meeting Q's aprentice) If ur Q does that make him R?

[schadenfreude]

"I'm gonna punch you in the ovary!"

--Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell), Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

"You're about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop."

--Patches O'Houlihan (Rip Torn), Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

"Come on, Kate -- time to put your mouth where our balls are."

--Peter La Fleur (Vince Vaughn), Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

"I'm at war with the world and everyone in it."

--Count Vladislaus Dracula (Richard Roxburgh), Van Helsing

"How about everyone here not saying the word 'dick' anymore -- it provokes my envy."

--Danica Talos (Parker Posey), Blade: Trinity

"No matter how many times you save the world, it gets back in jeopardy again."

--Mr. Incredible (Craig T. Nelson), The Incredibles

"Fear me, if you dare!"

--Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas), Shrek 2

[Blade102384]

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

Let me guess? White Devil White Devil? Yes, you speak watchuto?

[Avenger]

" Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes. " Buck Murdock

[Blade102384]

The Mummy Returns

Izzy: Last time we went on somewhere I got shot in the ass, I'm in mourning for my ass

Evy: Izzy, we should have a talk

Izzy: As long as I don't get shot in the ass

[kamal_anjelo]

im surprised , nobody has mentioned this one ;which i think equal to any great master's saying

Fightclub

I say, never be complete,

I say, stop being perfect,

I say, let's evolve...

Trainspotting

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a

family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose

washing machines, cars, compact disc players and

electrical tin openers..... Choose DIY and wondering

who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose

sitting on that couch watching mind numbing, spirit

crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your

mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all,

pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more

than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats

you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future.

Choose life..... But why would I want to do a thing

like that?"

[Lullaby]

Beautiful Girls

Will: Well, we have a little age problem.

Marty: I know, we're as star-crossed as Romeo & Juliet, a tragedy of Elizabethan proportions.

Will: So what do we do?

Marty: Alas poor Romeo, we can't do diddly, you'll go to the Penitentiary, I'll be the laughing stock of the Brownies... but if your feelings for me are true, you'll wait.

Will: Wait?

Marty: Yep. Wait 5 years, I'll be 18, we can walk through this world together.

Will: You know in 5 years you won't even remember me.

Marty: William.

Will: I'm formed, you're not, you still have changes to go through, you'll change, and I'll be Winnie the Pooh to your Christopher Robin.

Marty: ...how do you figure Pooh?

Will: Well Christopher Robin outgrew Pooh, that's how it ended, he had Pooh when he was a child, and when he matured, he didn't need him anymore.

Marty: Thats the saddest thing I ever heard.

Paul: So you're the little neighborhood Lolita.

Marty: So you're the alcoholic high school buddy shit for brains.

Paul: Supermodels are beautiful girls, Will. A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high full of the single greatest commodity known to man - promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile, in her soul, the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay. The supermodels, Willy? That's all they are. Bottled promise. Scenes from a brand new day. Hope dancing in stiletto heels.

Marty: What we've been doing lately is smoking massive amounts of drugs, binging on Entemmann's and listening to old Pink Floyd CD's.

Marty: I like to mash snow. It gives me a tremendous feeling of self satisfaction.

Marty: If I'm not mistaken, you've come back here to the house of loneliness and tears, to Daddy Downer and Brother Bummer, to come to some sort of decision about life, a life decision if you will.

Marty: Romeo and Juliet, the dyslexic version.

[avadakedavra]

The Ref

Gus: Look, just see if there's a Murray there.

Bartender: [to the patrons] Is there a Murray here? [into the phone] I don't think so.

Gus: See if there's a waste of fucking life named Murray, try that.

Bartender: [to the patrons] Is there a fucking waste of life named Murray here?

Murray: Gussy? Yeah that's me.

Gus: From now on, the only person who gets to yell is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns - for instance - you - DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation.

Lloyd: You know, you and my wife have a lot in common. You both think you have some right to life working out the way you want it to, and when it doesn't, you get to act the way you want. The only trouble with that is someone has to be responsible. I'd love to run around and take classes and play with my inner-self! I'd love the freedom to be some pissed-off criminal with no responsibilities, except I don't have the time! But you don't see me with a gun. And you don't see me sleeping with someone else. You think my life turned out the way I wanted because I live in this house? You think every morning I wake up, look in the mirror and say "Gee I'm glad I'm me and not some 19-year-old billionaire rockstar with the body of an athelete and a 24-hour erection!" No I don't! So just excuse the shit out of me!

Lloyd: You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.

Gus: I have a gun, it's loaded, shut up.

[Lullaby]

Gia

Gia: Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, and above.

Gia: I do be da pittiest pittiest girl, I do be dat.

Gia: Dear book, this is another day in my life. A life is like a book. A book is like a box. A box has six sides. Inside and outside, so, how do you get to what's inside? How do you get what's inside, out? Once upon a time, there lived a very pretty girl, who lived in a beautiful box, and everybody loved her.

Gia: I could learn photography. That could be something to want. I could photograph children. I could have my own children. I would give them yellow roses. And if they got too loud, I would just put them some place quiet. Put them in the oven. And I would kiss them every day, and tell them you don't have to be anybody, because I would know that being somebody doesn't make you anybody anyway.

Wilhemina: You will always be somebody to me.

Random chick in group therapy: Wait a minute. What am I supposed to feel? Sorry for you because you made ten thousand a minute doing fuckin' nothing? "Oh it was so hard, so terrible, they treated me so bad." Listen girl, you had a free ride. And you fuckin' blew it. And me? I'm some kid from Ohio, reading fashion magazines, looking at your picture and thinking I'm supposed to look like that. And going fucking crazy because I don't. Because nobody told me it was a lie. Because the magazine doesn't come with a label that says, "Caution: This is a lie. Nobody looks like this." Not even you.

Gia: G... I... A, "Gia" just fuck the rest of it, call me Gia, do you think you can remember that... honey? Yeah? Cool, now tell the bitch I'm here.

[maddog107]

Cal: [David and Cal Playing a video Game] You're *gay* now?

David: No, I'm not gay I'm just celibate.

Cal: I think? I mean, that sounds ga- I just want you to know this is like the first conversation of like three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like... there's this and then in a year it's like, "Oh you know, I kinda wanna, ya know, get back out there but I think I like guys" and then there's the big, "Oh I'm I'm a g-gay guy now".

David: You're gay for saying that.

Cal: I'm gay for saying that?

David: You know how I know you're gay?

Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay?

David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.

Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.

David: You know how I know that you're gay?

Cal: How? Cuz you're gay? and you can tell who other gay people are.

David: You know how I know you're gay?

Cal: How?

David: You like Coldplay.

David: You know how I know that you're gay?

Cal: How?

David: You like the movie "Maid in Manhattan".

Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay?

David: How?

Cal: I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sour dough bread once.

David: You know how I know that you're gay?

Cal: How?

David: You have a rainbow bumpersticker on your car that says "I love it when *balls* are in my face".

Cal: That's *gay*?

David: [David loses second match] Goddamnit!

Cal: I'm ripping your head off right now. It's off, and *now* I'm throwing it at your body.

[shouts]

Cal: Fuck you!

David: Aww.

good ol' 40 year old virgin