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Guest Lullaby

Quotes from your favorite [or least favorite] movies.

Tyler Durden: Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

Obviously from the movie FIGHT CLUB. Based on the novel by Chuck Palahniuk.

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Guest Lullaby


Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.

Sam: I still feel at home in my house.

Andrew Largeman: You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this right of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for you kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

Tim: (to Mark's mom, Carol) I had a lovely evening.

Tim: (to Andrew) By the way, it says "BALLS" on your face.

Sam: He's defending me. He's my knight in shining armor.

Andrew Largeman: Don't mention knights around Mark, it's a sore subject.

Mark: I'm going to kill that motherfucker.

Andrew Largeman: Pun intended?

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Turk Malloy: Watch it, bud.

Virgil Malloy: Who you calling bud, pal?

Turk Malloy: Who you calling pal, friend?

Virgil Malloy: Who you calling friend, jackass?

Turk Malloy: Don't call me a jackass.

Virgil Malloy: I just did call you a jackass.

Rusty: Why do this?

Danny: Why not do it?

[Rusty shakes his head]

Danny: Cause yesterday I walked out of the joint after losing four years of my life and you're cold-decking "Teen Beat" cover boys. [pause] Cause the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big, then you take the house.

Rusty: Been practicing this speech, haven't you?

Danny:Little bit. Did I rush it? Felt I rushed it.

Rusty: No, it was good, I liked it. The "Teen Beat" thing was harsh.

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Tyler Durden: All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I f*ck like you wanna f*ck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.

Narrator: I felt like destroying something beautiful.

Tyler Durden: You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your f*cking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

Tyler Durden: The things you own end up owning you.

Narrator: Tyler sold his soap to department stores at $20 a bar. Lord knows what they charged. It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.

Narrator: When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just...

Marla Singer: - instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?

Narrator: On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

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Dade Murphy: You look good in a dress.

Kate Libby: You would have looked better.

Dade Murphy: I don't play well with others.

Kate Libby: God gave men brains larger than dogs' so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Cereal Killer: Spandex: it's a privilege, not a right

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gottta do the obligatory full metal jacket quotes

ermy: hell i like you, you can come to my house and fuck my sister.

ermy: Do you suck dick private pyle? you look like the kind of person who will assfuck a man without the curtosy to give him a reach-around!

ermy: do you mean you can't do one fucking pull-up? my god pyle you are a worthless piece of shit, get the fuck off my obstacle you unable fatbody!

boondock saints:

murphy:"we're like 7 11. we're not always doing business, but we're allllways open." conner: "oh thats a good one i like that." murphy:"yea thanks."

boondock saints courtroom scene!

Conner MacManus: Now you will receive us.

Murphy MacManus: We do not ask for your poor or your hungry.

Conner MacManus: We do not want your tired and sick.

Murphy MacManus: It is your corrupt we claim.

Conner MacManus: It is your evil that will be saught by us.

Murphy MacManus: With every breath we shall hunt them down.

Conner MacManus: Each day we will spill their blood ‘til it rains down from the skies.

Murphy MacManus: Do not kill, do not rape, to not steal. These are principles, which every man of every faith can embrace.

Conner MacManus: These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.

Murphy MacManus: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain.

Conner MacManus: But if you do you, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day, you will reap it.

Murphy MacManus: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.

All three: And shepherds we shall be, for thee my Lord for thee, power hath descended forthfrom thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. We shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be.

Il Duce: In nomine patrie,

Conner MacManus: Et fili

Murphy MacManus: Spiritus sancti


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Jaime fox: man i thought you were a cool guy vincent.

Tom cruise: i am a cool guy, max.

tom cruise: you are screwing with my business.

tom cruise: thousands die around the world every day and when i off one fat angelino you throw a hissy fit.

jaime fox: you just met the guy and you go and kill him like that?

tom cruise: what, im only supposed to kill people after i get to know them?

tom cruise: talk your way out of this one max, because you dont have enough room in your trunk.

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Guest Lullaby


Narrator: Was it ticking?

Airport Security: Actually throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick.

Narrator: Sorry, throwers?

Airport Security: Baggage handlers. But, when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police.

Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating?

Airport Security: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... (whispering)

Airport Security: it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article "a dildo", never "your dildo".

Narrator: I don't own...

(Security waves Narrator off)

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Mushu: Okay people, people, let's look alive, let's go, come on, get up. Let's move it, rise and shine. You're all way past the beauty sleep thing, trust me

Mulan: You're so...

Mushu: Intimidating? Awe-inspiring?

Mulan: Tiny.

Mushu: Of course. I'm travel-sized for your convenience. If I was my real size, your cow here would die of fright.

[Khan snaps at Mushu]

Mushu: Down, Betsy.

Mushu: That's it. Dishonor. Dishonor on your whole family. Make a note of this. Dishonor on you. Dishonor on your cow.

Mushu: Oh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover.

[the cricket chirps sadly at Mushu]

Mushu: What? What do you mean you aren't lucky? You lied to me?

[to Mulan's horse]

Mushu: And what are you, a sheep?

Mushu: Did you see those Huns? They popped out of the snow. Like daisies!

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Guest quasicartes

--American Pie--

Kevin: Separately, we are flawed and vulnerable, but together, we are the masters of our sexual destiny!

Jim: Their Tigerstyle Kung Fu is strong...but our Dragonstyle will defeat it!

Kevin: Guys!

Oz: The Shaolin masters from East and West must unite! Fight! And find out who is number one!

Kevin: We must make a stand...here and now! (music starts) No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! We will fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid and should be! This is our day! This is our time! And by God, we will not stand by and watch history condemn us into celibacy!

Jim: Amen!

Sherman: Fellas, I think it's time she experienced....The Sherminator!

Kevin: Yeah, okay Sherman...whatever..

Sherman: I'm a sophisticated sex robot sent back through time to change the future...for one lucky lady.

Jim: Go get 'em, Tiger!

Sherman: I'll be back!

Nadia: "Be gentle." :evil: :evil: :evil:

Jessica: You're telling me you've never even had one manually?

Vicky: I've never tried it.

Jessica: You've never double clicked your "mouse"? (Vicky laughs)

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---American Pie---

From one of my fave scenes:

Kevin: Oh my God! Oh, this is too much!

Finch: Oh you see....there! there that goes....oh geez....God bless the internet!

Jim: Aye-yie-yie!

Finch: Take it off!

Kevin: Oh my God!

All the guys: Ohhh!

Jim: Oh, thank you God for this wonderful, wonderful day!

Finch: Man, she takes her vitamins! :evil:

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--American Pie 2--

The "band-geek", A.K.A. Ms. 'There-is-one-time...' : "You got to preheat the oven, before you stick in the turkey. "

Nadia: "You go get your geek, someday I'll find my geek."

Sherman: " I am a sophisticated sex robot, send back through time, to change the future of one lucky lady. Come with me if you want to live. "


--American Pie 3--

Stifler:"It's so hard being smart."

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