Neo52285 Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 Willy: [thinking] No, no, go easy on the wee one. His father's going to go crazy and chop 'em all into haggis.Bart: What's haggis?Willy: Boy, you read my thoughts! You've got the shinning!Bart: You mean shining.Willy: Shh! You want to get sued? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo52285 Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 [Homer, feeling behind the couch for a peanut he dropped, finds a twenty dollar bill instead]Homer: Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.Homer: Explain how.Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.Homer: Woo-hoo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo52285 Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 Homer: [after Homer confesses his sins] Woohoo! I'm clean! In your face, lord!Father Sean: Not quite, Mr. Simpson. I can only absolve you if you're a Catholic.Homer: Riiiiight. And how do I join? Do I whale on some Unitarians? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo52285 Posted August 17, 2005 Share Posted August 17, 2005 Marge: [to Bart] Now we have to find another school for you.Homer: And if you get kicked out of that one, you're going straight in the army, where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OriginalSin Posted August 18, 2005 Share Posted August 18, 2005 hahaha just heard that one this past sunday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_ed Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 [Homer, feeling behind the couch for a peanut he dropped, finds a twenty dollar bill instead]Homer: Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.Homer: Explain how.Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.Homer: Woo-hoo!<{POST_SNAPBACK}>That's a classic episode! I love it! and the "Be My Vest" episode... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_ed Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 FAMILY GUY Season 2 Episode 19"The Story On Page 1"*Outside the gates of Brown University*Brian: I tell you there's something magical about BrownChris: brown's the colour of poo ahahahahaha:rofl:Brian: Yes, yes it is.Lois: Oh, I haven't been in a college campus in years. Everything seems so different.Stewie: Really? Perhaps if you laid on your back with your ankle behind your ears, that would ring a few bells. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schadenfreude Posted September 8, 2005 Author Share Posted September 8, 2005 South Park Episode 505-CartmanlandStan: Dude, can you loan me twenty bucks for a new jacket?Cartman: HA! If you need money, you can get a job, Stan! No freeloaders are gonna take my hard-earned cash!Kyle: Your grandma left it to you! You didn't earn it!Cartman: Didn't earn it?! What about all the years I spent making Grandma like me?! All the wet spit-filled kisses I put up with?! The constant smell of aspirin and pee?! Don't tell me I didn't earn it, you son of a bitch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_ed Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 Family Guy (Is it Season 5 or season 4 still?) Adam West: So it's a shouting match you want eh? Well, game on Quahog! ARRRRGH ARRRGHH ARGGGHH ARRGHHH I'M BEATING YOU!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persuazn Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 Cartman: Doodoo doot doo, dadadadada daa, ya da dadaa Doodoo doot doo, dadada daa, heydy heydy heydy, how's it goin', guys? Kyle: What the hell are you so happy about, fatass?! [Cartman gets off his bike] Cartman: [coolly] Oh, nothing. No big deal, really. Stan: What's no big deal? Cartman: Well, guys, it seems that I am the first one of us to reach manhood after all. Kyle: ...What the hell are you talking about?! Cartman: Well, because, unlike you guys, I just got my first pubes! Ayada da daa, yadadadadee! [dances] Kenny: (You got pubes??) Kyle: What's "pubes"? Stan: Pubic hair. He's saying he got his first pubic hair. Kyle: Oh. [to Cartman] No you didn't! Cartman: Oh yes I did! I'm becoming a man! Stan: He's lying. [turns and walks away. Kenny follows, then Kyle] Cartman: You wanna see 'em? Kyle: [turns to look at them] Hell no! [stan and Kenny turn to look] Cartman: [reaches into his pants] Here, check 'em out. Stan: [looks away and hides his eyes] We don't wanna see them, Cartman! [Kyle turns around, Kenny shuts his hood tight] Cartman: There, see?! How do you like [them] apples! [is his right hand is a clump of pubic hair. The other boys look, with Kyle ready to cover his eyes again] HA! Kyle: [approaches] Uh what are those? [stan and Kenny follow] Cartman: My pubes Stan: What?? Cartman: I got 'em from Scott Tenorman. Kyle: Scott Tenorman? The ninth grader? Cartman: Yup. He let me have 'em for just ten bucks. Ha ha ha! I got pubes 'fore you guys did! I got pubes 'fore youuu guys! Ahahahahahahaa ha! [dances a little more] Stan: Cartman, you are so Goddamned stupid it's unbelievable. Cartman: [moves in between Stan and Kyle and embraces them, one under each arm, and gloats. Kyle looks at Cartman's right hand] Don't be jealous, guys. [Kyle looks at Cartman] This doesn't mean we can't still hang out. [Kyle looks back at Cartman's hand] It just means that I matured faster than you. [Kyle fears for that hair touching him] You'll get your pubes guys, someday. Kyle: Cartman, you don't buy pubes, you grow them yourself! Cartman: Uh oo what? Stan: When you get old enough, you grow your own pubic hair that's attached to you, you fuckin' dumbass! Cartman: Nuh uh! Kyle: Yuh huh! Cartman: [looks at his purchase] But then why would Scott Tenorman sell me his pubes for ten dollars? Kyle: Because, retard, you're dumb enough to buy Scott Tenorman's pubes for ten dollars! Cartman: You're telling me these pubes are worth nothing. Kyle: Yeah. Cartman: [walks off in a huff] Huh I'm gonna get that sonofabitch. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persuazn Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 Cartman: "One, please ... Six dollars? OK, and how much is that in pubes?" Clerk: We don't take pubes! Cartman: Listen, my money is as good as anybody's! Don't you, uh, discriminate against my people by not accepting these pubes Clerk: We don't take pubes!! End of story!! Cartman: Racist! [takes the pubes and runs off] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
persuazn Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 Cartman: [in costume, with briefcase] Hello, sir, my name is Kris Kristoferssen. I'm with the IRS. I'm here to collect ten dollars that you own in back taxes Scott: You're not from the IRS! You glued my pubes onto your face! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_ed Posted September 21, 2005 Share Posted September 21, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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