schadenfreude Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 Family GuyLois: I care about the size of your penis as much as you care about the size of my breasts.Peter: Oh my God! (runs off crying) Quote
OriginalSin Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 oh great topic heidegger...the first one i actually like Family Guy Grinch: You think you have won, you think all is well but kiss my green ass I shall see you hell "Guns don't kill people. Dangerous minorities do" The Simpsons Flanders' mother: We've tried nothin' and we're all out of ideas Miss Vicky: I would've killed for tappa-tappa-tappa Ned: Calm down, Neddilly-diddily-diddily-diddily-diddily Quote
red_ed Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 Dave Chapelle as Clayton Bigsby: "Let's talk about Chinese people, with their kung-fu and all that silly ching chang chong talk, I can't understand yoooou, go back to your own country...white power" "Condaleeza Rice sounds like a mexican dish. Maybe we should put her on a plane and send her to Mexico so the Mexicans will eat her...white power" Quote
persuazn Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 THE SIMPSONSHomer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon? Lisa: No. Homer: Ham? Lisa: No. Homer: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal. Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal. (also my fav simpson episode) Quote
persuazn Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 THE SIMPSONSScully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand? Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up) Quote
OriginalSin Posted August 10, 2005 Posted August 10, 2005 ^^^^ LMAO i love that scene...that seriously brightened up my day Quote
persuazn Posted August 11, 2005 Posted August 11, 2005 THE SIMPSONS Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down." Quote
OriginalSin Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 haha great one!on that same wavelengthmillhouse: wow this is just like speed 2 but instead of a boat its a bus! Quote
schadenfreude Posted August 12, 2005 Author Posted August 12, 2005 Cartman: Gentlemen, thank you for coming! This is the beginning of a great time in our lives! God has finally spoken to me, guys, and he has told me how I can make ten million dollars!Kyle: How?!Cartman: Boy-band!Stan: Boy-band?!Cartman: Boy-band!Kyle: I'm not being in any faggy boy-band!Cartman: THERE'S NOTHING FAGGY ABOUT TEN MILLION DOLLARS, ASSHOLE! THIS WAS A MESSAGE FROM GOD!Stan: Dude, we don't have any musical talent!Cartman: That didn't stop any of the other boy-bands, dumbass! Quote
red_ed Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 damn...you could quote the Simpsons til time itself stops Quote
persuazn Posted August 12, 2005 Posted August 12, 2005 u sure couldTHE SIMPSONSMilhouse: We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy Quote
OriginalSin Posted August 13, 2005 Posted August 13, 2005 Milhouse: Is this the untimely end of Milhouse?Milhouse2: [pause] But Milhouse is my name!Milhouse: But I thought I was the only one!Milhouse2: [shakes head] A pain I know all too well.Milhouse: So this is what it feels like...when doves cry. Quote
OriginalSin Posted August 15, 2005 Posted August 15, 2005 more family guy:Brian: Hola, me llamo es Brian ... Nosotros queremos ir con ustedes.. uhhhh ...Bellboy (Spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.Brian: Oh, oh you speak English!Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?Bellboy (Spanish): Que? Peter: If you could be stranded on a desert island with any woman in the world, who would it be?Quagmire: Taylor Hanson.Joe Swanson: Taylor Hanson is a guy.Quagmire: [Laughs] You guys are yankin' me. "Hey, let's put one over on Quagmire."Peter: No, he's actually a guy, Quagmire.Quagmire: What? That's insane. That's impossible.[Pause]Quagmire: Oh God. Oh my God. I've got all these magazines. Oh God. Quote
OriginalSin Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 the simpsonsHomer Simpson: Now what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?Vendor at the World Trade Center: Mountain Dew or crab juice.Homer Simpson: Blecch! :yuckky: Ew! Sheesh! I'll take a crab juice. Quote
Lullaby Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 From Roseanne. An old but good show.Dan: What a beautiful day - the kind of day that starts with a hearty breakfast and ends with a newsreader saying, "... before turning the gun on himself."D.J.: Was I an accident?Roseanne: No, D.J., you were a surprise.D.J.: Oh. What's the difference?Roseanne: Well, an accident is something that you wouldn't do over again if you had the chance. A surprise is something you didn't even know you wanted until you got it.D.J.: Oh. Was Darlene an accident?Dan: No, Darlene was a disaster.Roseanne: Ya know Lanford's not a bad town. You just gotta go with it more... fit in.Kathy: And what does that mean, Roseanne? Am I suppose to wonder around town in a tacky house coat and flip-flops with my hair in curlers?Roseanne: Now you're getting it. Yeah. Absolutely. And then I'll throw us one of these here tupperware parties and then I'll introduce you to THE OTHERS.Kathy: What are you talking about?Roseanne: Oh, we all use to be like you Kathy. Angry, bitter, annoying... but now... we're the Lanford Wives.Kathy: Goodbye, Roseanne.Roseanne: Oh, it's useless to try and resist us Kathy, we already have Jerry - Jerry's one of us - Jerry joined the lodge.Kathy: You're a sick woman Roseanne.Roseanne: Oh, you'll start to love it, I promise Kathy. Just think about it... swap meets... bowling meets... bingo... double coupon week... casino night at the slaughter house. IT'S YOUR DESTINY.Becky: Darlene you just shouldn't let sex rule your lifeDarlene: You know, thats the same speech mom gave me. Except you left out the part "... or you'll end up like Becky".Roseanne: [to DJ] Son, I'm going to punish you so hard that they'll throw a benefit concert for you. Quote
Neo52285 Posted August 16, 2005 Posted August 16, 2005 simpsons[after Milhouse moves out of town, Skinner and Willie are shocked to learn that Bart and Lisa have become best friends]Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life! Quote
Neo52285 Posted August 17, 2005 Posted August 17, 2005 SimpsonsHomer Simpson: Sometimes, Marge, you just have to go with your gut.Marge: You *always* go with your gut. How about for once you listen to your brain? Quote
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