controversiaster Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Of course, having a revenge will make you feel good, it would allow you to vent out anger. But its the classy the way how you left him. Well, the ideas are there if you need it! I am glad that you broke up with him, feel pity for the guy but don't feel as if you did the wrong thing, because you haven't! Keep us updated and have an evening with the girls, cook together and watch a film with a good glass of wine is good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnight lady Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 yeah...you did the right thing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keebler14 Posted July 16, 2008 Share Posted July 16, 2008 Good for you: I agree; you made a choice you won't regret. I dated a guy for 4 years and, one day, while waiting in his office, I asked if I could use his PC to send a message. His nurse said he was with a patient but she didn't think he'd mind so go ahead. His emails were still on the screen and it was obvious from their headings, these were not patients or family or casual friends. There was one entitled "Dinner sweetie? Have surgery now but Tues. I'm All Yours!" His "surgery" was actually our dinner date. The topper was the one from an email address which had different initials but used his last name. Yeah, I went the intrusive route and opened that one. It was from his ex-wife about moving into his 1 bedroom house--something he was begging her to do.I sent an email from his account to his account saying someone I couldn't trust, I couldn't date." Later, I realized I always had this gut feeling about something being "off." The many calls he got out of the car to take. The way a girl in a place we were shopping came up and started talking with him about a night they'd recently seen a concert together.....The way he usually never allowed me to pick up his phone or use his email. Your ex- will not change; I truly believe these guys who take advantage of the internet to chat up and flirt with others are complete jerks and need so much stoking of their egos, they will always need an outlet like the internet to chat and fantasize. I regret not listening to my gut sooner and I will never get involved with someone who shows all the red flags of being a player again. All the best to you! MaryPS My grandmother used to say "If you're getting vibes, they're being sent." Good advice; I just need to heed it a bit more often!!!:-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wild Rose Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Kathy, I think too you made the right decision! And it takes a strong person to do it! I know it's gonna be hard for you too but you'll get over it soon and find someone more loyal! Remember, there are many fishes in the ocean! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy Posted July 17, 2008 Author Share Posted July 17, 2008 thank you all for your support! Its tough yeah, esspecially cuz i once believed he was the one i wanted to spend the rest of my life with! And so many things we were supposed to do....all are just gonna be left undone. But bright side is, i can experience these things with somebody i can trust. Atleast, thats what i hope haha.There are still good men out there right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midnight lady Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 sure what are you thinking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wild Rose Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 PS My grandmother used to say "If you're getting vibes, they're being sent." Good advice; I just need to heed it a bit more often!!!:-) wise woman! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daniela Posted July 19, 2008 Share Posted July 19, 2008 Well.. if you're gonna revenge, be careful, you gotta be conscious of what you want to do, think if revenging will be good for your relationship.. and the consequences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wild Rose Posted July 21, 2008 Share Posted July 21, 2008 but she already said that it's not in her character to take revenge! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irenistiQ Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 Never love a man more than he loves you. at least u will know how to vary and limit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockTheSky Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Not taking revenge is a sign of weakness, and he will walk all over her one day and it will give him the satisfaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rogue Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Well.. if you're gonna revenge, be careful, you gotta be conscious of what you want to do, think if revenging will be good for your relationship.. and the consequences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockTheSky Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Well.. if you're gonna revenge, be careful, you gotta be conscious of what you want to do, think if revenging will be good for your relationship.. and the consequences. consider exhibit A boyfriend cheats on girlfriend (he'd an a*shole... and you really never should have stayed with him because he's been affecting you, and the relationship was starting to disrupt your emotional standing) so ... you make out with someone (or maybe one of his friends infront of him) or you go to dinner with someone else shortly after you guys break up and make sure he hears about it. Pro: you've probably pissed him off, that's the revenge part of it. Pro: even if you cave in and try to get back with him, he won't want you back.. which is actually better for you in the long run. Pro: he's for sure got a sore ego from all of this since you "got over" him so fast. Con: If you didn't make sure that you never wanted to get with him... this might hinder the possibility ... you know... irrepairable damages... CAution.. you have been warned the trick to making this work out in the end is to be strong and never cave in. pretend you couldn't give a crap about him any more... flirt with other guys infront of him but still say hi to him casually... but make sure to seem very disinterested in him. He'll feel like the dumbest loser for cheating on you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controversiaster Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Not taking revenge is a sign of maturity, and to show you can step up and be above it all and not stoop to his level. Something you apparently lack given, as even Kathy said, the extreme nature of your revenge plan. I am surprised you got that carried away though, given this is someone you don't even know lol. I hate to think how you'd react if it was actually your boyfriend. LOL I think you should go for the angle that yes some of the revenge was extreme ...But certainly if he was doing something illegal police should be involved..... And after having your world turned upside down (this isn't just some teenager's 4 month relationship here, it was nearly the marriage between 2 adults - thats a huge deal), its understandable that the person might feel angry and upset...And if her doing or even just thinking about something a bit silly/crazy calms her down then fair enough. Oh and as for what you said/speculated about me, I guess I'm just a quite passionate person . Just because I run away with my imagination sometimes doesn't mean I'm a maturity-stunted child. I guess I sometimes like to express my views passionately! Oh and don't worry about me irl, I manage just fine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockTheSky Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 ^ that's fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
M--- Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Thank you all for your replies! I have broken up with my boyfriend and am staying at my parents at the moment, just need to get some friends together to collect my stuff.Wow controversiaster, your revenge plan is a little extreme! All i wanted to do is forward those emails to his family but in the end i only forwarded it to his sister in the end, so she would know what he had done. I believe he is suffering enough now that he has lost me. He is kinda depressed at the moment. I kinda feel sorry for him. i know he deserves it and i shouldnt care. but i still love him and im feeling kinda crap also.Anyway, revenge is not for me. Its kinda lowering myself to his standards. So ill just let it be. I think it is punishement enough like this.I think it shows strength that you don't take revenge (Y)and I adviced you to not break up with him...but let me tell you something:i also adviced a friend of mine to not break up with her boyfriend - she did anyhow. And two weeks after that she met her new boyfriend and fell completely in love with him and he with her. They're together for like over two years now. LOLMight be good that you didn't listen to me and broke up with him.Now you're free when someone better comes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathy Posted August 21, 2008 Author Share Posted August 21, 2008 my bf has been emailing, txting and phoning me since we broke up. he feels regret and he misses me.its very hard for me to withstand, as i love him very much. my mind is saying, hell no! but my heart is saying, take him back.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
controversiaster Posted August 21, 2008 Share Posted August 21, 2008 Follow your head Kathy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ana Beatriz Barros Fan Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 If he can be writing to other girls online then he could just as easily cheat on you physically. I consider him writing to other girls (in the way that he does using sexual inuendos) as emotionally cheating, if he really cared about you and loved you, he would of never done it in the first place or at least had the decencey to stop when you told him you didn't like it, take care hun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irenistiQ Posted November 2, 2008 Share Posted November 2, 2008 omg, emotional cheating Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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