Eating Disorder

[mariemarie]

Im sorry if im too explicit or something...

People that doesn't suffer of this, wouldn't understand HOW TRICKY became your mind once you have the disorder. Beyond your body, this is a mental illness, and some people tends to forget that.

So now, an anorexic may tell you the same thing that Lolita here said.

"Why do you want to live beeing THAT fat? You have the power to change your life and healthy. Fat is bad, you don't need it."

Does this make sense?

Of course nobody wants to have an ED (ok, YES there are some stupid girls that think this is not a illness, and they beg for tips about how to stop eating and all that shit, but those girls are not the case for me.)

I don't know how the other girls that suffered ED's started to develop the disorder.

I personally started with some sort of depression. And depression went away, but left me that ED. I found out that one kilo less each day, made me happy. Thats how started.

So back then i used to ask myself... "why should stop doing the only thing i can have under my own control and make me happy?" "Why should i start eating to make THEM happy?"

[Baby]

This is to every girl, Why do you want to live this way? You have the power to change your life and be healthy.

because my dad try to commit a suicide, because my grandfather with one of his daughter (my dad's sister) made blackmail to my father for money. they said lies (ex : my bad was a pedophile), because i spend years in hospital, i lived with dying people (cancer, AIDS, physical deformations), so i lost impotant people... and my health wasn't very good too and because majority of people are superficial *ssholes, they are nice with you when you are in front of them, but if one day, they consider that your position was superior to their position, so they are happy to see you fall. they are really vultures. materialist sheeps without really "opinions" and personnal evolution, only a basic humor with a big touch of hypocrise and at bit of intelligence... and in this kind of situation, trust me, you must be very very strong! they made me fierce and wild.

i started bulimia because of these problems, because i couldn't control my life but i was able to control my body and without it, maybe i couldn't be there to talk. and now, my bulimia is very physical too. this is a piece of me. sometimes, our only strength come from our own destruction and this is the only thing who can help us.

but in same time Lolita, we talk about it since 26 pages... maybe it could be better to read the answers before to ask this kind of questions!

but please, tell me how it was possible to change all these things ? how it was able to stop these problems in my family ? how it was able to stop my friends to die ? how it was able to stop my hemorrhaging, my legs, my cartilage,hormonal, cancerous zones problems ?

[Lolita]

I was on this page since page 2 so scroll back and read it if you want. I know I did.

anyway

alot of things happen in peoples lives. alot of bad stuff happen in mine but I keep my mouth shut about it because I moved on and people need to be happy in the day and I know its hard but we just live once and it's best to treat your body well because it's your responsibility.

[Lolita]

pray

[mariemarie]

oh my god! EDs are a disease! you can't blame people for beeing psicotic or something like that. the same here.

[Baby]

I was on this page since page 2 so scroll back and read it if you want. I know I did.

anyway

alot of things happen in peoples lives. alot of bad stuff happen in mine but I keep my mouth shut about it because I moved on and people need to be happy in the day and I know its hard but we just live once and it's best to treat your body well because it's your responsibility.

Lolita, do you smoke, do you drink alcohol, do you take pills, do you eat meat, do you live in a big city, do you use a car, are you obsessed by something or someone like religion or fanatisme, do you sleep 8 hours every day, do you watch tv (because tv is often really stupid!) ? because all these things are bad for health or mental too.

you know, there is always a way to be better, more intelligent etc unfortunately i won't be rude but intelligent and perfectly healthy people are really rare...!

no,the most important is not to respect our life but make something of our life, because, in the end, we die.

people aren't machine. we can't "cut" our feelings, our emotions, we can't hide them.

do you think it could be a best way, when someone close to you die, to make a smile and say "oh, today i'm happy" ?

don't you think, this is normal to be sad ? why we should respect our body if we don't take care of things, people around us ? if nothing can't touch us ? if nothing can't make us evolve ? it's like a dictature. deny your nature and be "perfect"!

yes, hapiness is important, but the sadness too. i won't be happy when someone important die. i would like to be sad. i would like cry for this person, show my love, respect, regret.

should i deny my human nature and become a superficial person, living in the blind happiness ? this is goal of our life ?

if everybody were perfectly healthy and happy (so a real doctrine) life should be sad because we couldn't be ourselves, because the sadness, the depression, the fear are a piece of us. animals can be sad, depressive or scared too. we can change a behavior like incest, but we can't change, cancel a feeling. Lolita, maybe you should try to understand Human nature before to say this kind of things...

i don't complain about my troubles and bulimia, in fact, i'm proud of it, because if i never be a bulimic, i should be a different person. if all my life i was an happy girl, trust me, i certainly should be a very stupid girl too! but when you said so stupid things like "you have the power to change your life" that's wrong. these kind of problems can't be changed... the death, sickness (the reason of these mental troubles) are a fatal reality.

you know, happiness is not a competition. yes, everybody has troubles, i know it... and certainly more than the majority of people because at first, this is my job. i study people behavior and without lie, people often say "yes, but we have troubles too and this is not for this reason than this we make it" or " i lost my parents and i never cry during their funeral so why do you cry because your mother is sick ? she is alive, she is not dead! it could be worst!" but you know everybody is different, experience are different so the way to "stop" the pain can be different too.

and this is what we call the "sensibility" and as i already said, this is not a competition!!! of course situation can be worst. and this is not because you are sensitive that you are egoist, narcissist and you can't see misery around you. this is not because i'm bulimic than i close my eyes when i meet an homeless in the street... and this is not because i meet an homeless in the street that now, i'm happy.

as i already say (many and many times...) eating disorder can be the only way to "evacuate" the pain. sometimes people don't want to talk about their problems, they just want to have a "control" on something because they have the feeling they can't control their own life... and their body, this eating disorder can be this (dangerous) "mental help"

[Lolita]

Whatever.

I don't feel like talking about this anymore.

[Baby]

so don't come here and don't ask stupid and illogic questions and don't say ideologic (but impossible) advices.

it's just "borring"

[Lolita]

Whatever!

[mariemarie]

as i already say (many and many times...) eating disorder can be the only way to "evacuate" the pain. sometimes people don't want to talk about their problems, they just want to have a "control" on something because they have the feeling they can't control their own life... and their body, this eating disorder can be this (dangerous) "mental help"

And thats why many times people relates ED's with self injury. (mostly anorexia and bulimia)

Anyway Baby, you should know: people who never suffer from this, wouldn't know how we feel & how this sort of "control" make us feel better.

Such as a normal person wouldnt understand why a guy who suffers from OCD feel abnormally bad if he doesnt repeat his compulsive behavior.

Im sory if im always trying to compare with other mental illnesses, but somehow (some) people think we really think this is some kind of a... game?

When i sufferd from anorexia, it wasn't like "hahaha im not going to eat today, hahaha im the queen of the world" that thought is so stupid. Although I know some girls who do think like that and all i feel is pity for them.

In my case, even if I knew i was supposed to eat, i really couldn't. It is more than don't wanting to eat. It really is that YOU CAN'T.

[Expresso]

Eating Disorders...I always had a mixed feeling about them. I mean, my sister suffered from it and it was horrible seeing her waste away and struggle (luckily she's got herself back on track now) but honestly, I think it's disgusting these things even exist in this world.

On the other side of the world people are starving because they cannot get food because the land they live on doesn't supply them with it, or because of war. And then there's us. We have all our basic needs covered. We have homes, food, tapwater, education, etc. We have time to fuss over our appearances, fuss about fashion, fuss about models, fuss about our personal issues....we have so much that we have the freedom to think things through and think so much about it that virtually unimportant things have become a constant in our minds. It's actually ridiculous when you think about it. And I don't think about it often, because this life I have is my only point of reference.

I know I'm a hypocrite for saying this on a forum that revolves around models, fashion and other insignificant stuff. I'm no better than anyone. But sometimes, I think a little realization is good. You are destroying yourselves with your ED's. I know it's a psychological issue. I have seen my sister. An intelligent girl. Yet she went on in this self destructive path. I remember when she was recovering, she came to me and apologized. I asked what for. "For being so selfish." Because in essence, that's what it is. All she thought about was losing weight and how she would look when she got thin (even though she was already bony). She was in control. She was always a control freak and hated it when she couldn't control something. Now she controlled her own body. But in reality, she wasn't in control.

I think that all the people with ED's should think about this. I know it's not that simple. But it might make you set the first step to recovery.

Good luck to everyone here suffering from this. I hope you all get healthy again like my sister

[Chicken]

i don't complain about my troubles and bulimia, in fact, i'm proud of it, because if i never be a bulimic, i should be a different person. if all my life i was an happy girl, trust me, i certainly should be a very stupid girl too! but when you said so stupid things like "you have the power to change your life" that's wrong. these kind of problems can't be changed... the death, sickness (the reason of these mental troubles) are a fatal reality.

Sounds like a secondary gain. I think I'm in the same position,but I'm not proud of it I want to get rid of it! But it feels like the behaviour is automatic I feel helpless.

[Baby]

"proud" means "to be happy" of this experience.

i really love psychology and i think it really important to understand every feeling.

happyness, sadness, love, hate, hote and despair. so i'm really "happy" of my bulimia because without it maybe i couldn't be alive, but in same time, if my life was a perfect happyness, i couldn't be who i am.

expresso, i think you don't understand what should be an addiction and like 99% of people, who repeat the same thing without understand the problem.

you talked about the addiction without try to understand why people are addicts...

it's always "addiction are horrible", "people shouldn't be influenced by fashion, models. they should accept their body", "people create their own problems, sickness", "there are people with ED, there are us, and there are population without food" "hope all the best and everything will be ok"

so you know, it's make me "laugh" because at first, people in the street, without money or even populations without food won't start to eat because bulimics will stop to vomit or anorexiac will start to eat... . the only ways to help them are 1 : give money/job and 2 : give food.

and it's funny because 99% of time, people who make this kind of "reflexions" never help poor people. it's very hypocrite.

i have a ED but i help homeless people. i always give my time and money and all the homeless in my district know me.

so yes, there is always worst than us! that's true. we are humans, we aren't ants! yes the community is important but as i already said, this is not because someone has bigger suffering that we aren't allowed to suffer and we can't be sad too.

i think this ideology is wonderful and blablabla but it's like people are living into an illuion and don't take care of our human nature. and this is not because you are in down of the financial pyramide that you are more "human" and this is not because we say "we should take care of the world, be honnest, etc etc etc" that we (everybody) do. there is always a way to be better... but in the end, what we could be ?

virtuality is just a word. books, paints, are more "virtual" than "forums" or photography. theatre can be as virtual as movies. the bible is as virtual as gossip magazine. fashion always existed and always make dream people! a letter is as virtual as an email. the words aren't different or stronger! it just, the first is faster, so more "real" because more "actual" (i don't take care of the paper, this is not interesting!), the barbies and tin solders are as virtual as a video games

the human nature needs dreams and fantasmes and this is not new.

by the way, this is not because here in america, australia or europe, plastic surgery or sexy dress is a way to be more "attractive" (so virtual/superficial) for some people...) that in the poor countries, they are less "superficial"... it's just, they have different a way to be "attractive". they can love fat people, with a long neck, short feet, amputed clitoris, circumcision or virgin... and all these things can be as "superficial'" as the short dress or the plastic surgery!

this is not because this is different, that it should be better...

there is no hypocrisy to talk about ED in a forum about fashion.

about me, i'm not bulimiac because of model, fashion or weight.

i don't really take care of them so there is no link.

[Lady Vavi]

This matter is VERY COMPLEX. The mind is complicated so it's unfair for people to just say 'oh get over it. Just eat'. It's a matter of self-worth.

Anyway I still believe models and actresses can't be 'blamed' for everything. I mean really.

[AnaBBarrosFan]

This matter is VERY COMPLEX. The mind is complicated so it's unfair for people to just say 'oh get over it. Just eat'. It's a matter of self-worth.

Anyway I still believe models and actresses can't be 'blamed' for everything. I mean really.

Thank you.

[Baby]

i think models are just "lucky" girls with their genetics and people should understand it.

fashion is an art and as an art, the "normality" is not what they look for.

people complain about the "skinny" fashion but in same time; if people don't wanna see skinny girls in magazine, they shouldn't buy these kind magazines.

there are magazine with "normal" or "fat" girls but if they don't by these magazine, this is not the models and fashion designers' fault.

everybody is free of his own opinions and inspirations and if you are influenced, it's just because you want. they decided to follow the "flow", the fashion, the "new" but in same time are free to say "no". it's just a question of wish and education.

some girls thinks models, actresses lives a very glamour life, they are lucky in love etc... but it's just a dream. you can be model and be as jealous and cuckold than the other girls... it's means nothing.

all the fantasmes, the influence can be nocif and i think actresses, singers or models can be accused because they are a minority and minority are often "wrong". in people head, the majority is the normality and the normality is always right. that's stupid but want you want ?

the majority is its own executioner. they "want", but they complain in same time.

[Expresso]

I'm very late in replying. I just saw this just now, so sorry about that

expresso, i think you don't understand what should be an addiction and like 99% of people, who repeat the same thing without understand the problem.

you talked about the addiction without try to understand why people are addicts...

it's always "addiction are horrible", "people shouldn't be influenced by fashion, models. they should accept their body", "people create their own problems, sickness", "there are people with ED, there are us, and there are population without food" "hope all the best and everything will be ok"

so you know, it's make me "laugh" because at first, people in the street, without money or even populations without food won't start to eat because bulimics will stop to vomit or anorexiac will start to eat... . the only ways to help them are 1 : give money/job and 2 : give food.

and it's funny because 99% of time, people who make this kind of "reflexions" never help poor people. it's very hypocrite.

i have a ED but i help homeless people. i always give my time and money and all the homeless in my district know me.

so yes, there is always worst than us! that's true. we are humans, we aren't ants! yes the community is important but as i already said, this is not because someone has bigger suffering that we aren't allowed to suffer and we can't be sad too.

i think this ideology is wonderful and blablabla but it's like people are living into an illuion and don't take care of our human nature. and this is not because you are in down of the financial pyramide that you are more "human" and this is not because we say "we should take care of the world, be honnest, etc etc etc" that we (everybody) do. there is always a way to be better... but in the end, what we could be ?

virtuality is just a word. books, paints, are more "virtual" than "forums" or photography. theatre can be as virtual as movies. the bible is as virtual as gossip magazine. fashion always existed and always make dream people! a letter is as virtual as an email. the words aren't different or stronger! it just, the first is faster, so more "real" because more "actual" (i don't take care of the paper, this is not interesting!), the barbies and tin solders are as virtual as a video games

the human nature needs dreams and fantasmes and this is not new.

by the way, this is not because here in america, australia or europe, plastic surgery or sexy dress is a way to be more "attractive" (so virtual/superficial) for some people...) that in the poor countries, they are less "superficial"... it's just, they have different a way to be "attractive". they can love fat people, with a long neck, short feet, amputed clitoris, circumcision or virgin... and all these things can be as "superficial'" as the short dress or the plastic surgery!

this is not because this is different, that it should be better...

there is no hypocrisy to talk about ED in a forum about fashion.

about me, i'm not bulimiac because of model, fashion or weight.

i don't really take care of them so there is no link.

I see your points, they're well made. Okay, so you say you don't have an ED because of any of the reasons I stated. Then why do you have it? What started it? There has to be a reason.

[Expresso]

people complain about the "skinny" fashion but in same time; if people don't wanna see skinny girls in magazine, they shouldn't buy these kind magazines.

there are magazine with "normal" or "fat" girls but if they don't by these magazine, this is not the models and fashion designers' fault.

That's kinda short sighted, I think. It never worked that way and it never will. Besides, each of those mags carry a certain image. The mags with heavier women usually have that couch-talk-Oprah vibe going on, with subjects "Be happy with your curves" and "you deserved to be liked for who you are, whether you have a bubble butt or not". Teenage girls aren't going to buy that. And then there's the fact that a lot of girls think these sticks are pretty. I think this kind of beauty standard is branded into us. Sure, preferences differ, but on the whole slim women have the advantage over the heavier ones. Also, though we are free to have our own opinions, that doesn't mean we don't 'borrow' from eachother. In the end, the majority of us will always exhibit herd behaviour one way or the other. Call it culture or whatever you want, but it's the truth. We are influenced by other people all the time.

Sure, the fashion industry has always been sort of an independent industry, but my god, it's influenced by everything. It's like a sponge that takes everything in. It's the only way they can come up with the "new look." Also, sticks model clothes better because they look like clothing hangers. I mean, even people in the industry have admitted that, no sense in denying it now. So in a way, yes it's the fault of the industry, the designers and the people behind campaigns. But by now it's what people crave, so getting out of that is hard. How are you going to let go of an unhealthy image when your clients like that?

Yes, there are naturally skinny models. But even they are put on a diet to look even slimmer. Why do you think they like those young girls? Because in puberty, lots of girls are thin as sticks. When they get older, they need to work to stay that thin, and that's when the ED's set in. Not all, but a lot of girls suffer from it because they simply don't know how to stay slim in a healthy way. I think that's also a part of it.

[Baby]

i know people can be influenced, i already talk about it in the "porn" thread.

to be honnest, i never buy fashion magazines and i absolutely don't follow the fashion and i don't take care of model girls. when i love a model (girl or boy) it's because of his/her artistic work and nothing else.

i don't take care of his/her face, body or clothes.

i just think i'm a feminine girl and because of it, i only wear dress and skirt. i think the last time i wore a pants, i was 16 years old. since i'm 15 years old i only wear high heel shoes, and i don't wear t-shirt since i'm 12 years old.

i don't watch tv (between 10 and 20 hours per year) only dvd. i know who is Oprah (i know her face) but you know, these kind of tv show aren't my cup of tea. as i already said, when i was teenager i lived in hospital, so he had a television in a big living room but it never interested us.

after that's people choice, yes, of course we are influenced, but we can select our own influences. everybody around me is carnivor but i'm vegan. everybody around me have a normal job, or try to make some artistic stuff and i'm astrologuer, people spend their time to watch me with big ball eyes but i don't take care of their opinion.

and i have my own tastes about music, movies, photography etc

so this is possible. you can choose your influences. you won't eat poo because people will tell you that's good for you. and this is your education, your parents should learn you to say "NO" and don't follow the "fashion"

sorry but i know many models and they don't make diet.

by the way, when you make diet and you have eating disorder, trust me, you often look tired, sick etc... and i'm not sure agencies should be ok to work with sick models... there is enought beautiful and slim girls so they don't need to lose their time with sick people.

(yes, that's possible... as everybody should be fat XD after this is not because you're more of 1.70 that you're anorexic... don't understand why it's so hard to understand it do you think that's possible to be slim and beautiful in same time ? you know, there are something like 6 billions of people on earth, so i think they have the choice...)

i won't be rude but for example, if you take the top 50 of models.com

yes, some model can have an eating disorder, but this girls have a spychologycal problem, as the dancer, the butcher or the seller with eatting disorder.

and this is not becaus eyou make a diet that you're unhealty...

after with they use "Skinny" and young girls is because A : "old" women can't wear everything and young woman can spend their money in clothes... whne you're older you can have an husband, so you don't need to "seduce", you stay at home, so you don't need to "shine" during the parties and when you're mum, kids need money...

after fashion designer often use the tall and skinny models because they won't adapt clothes for every model... so girls need to be "basic". they need photogenic people, someone who can walk with problem, never clean the eyes under the flash, etc

but they are just a piece of the fashion industry and if people don't want to be influanced by magazine for "normal" or "fat" people that's their choice...

i think "models = eating disorder" it's like "rich = sad"

people always enjoy to say this sh*t to feel better because they are just jealous.

nothing else.

[Expresso]

There are LOTS of models with ED's out there. You are naive not to think so. Model Ana Carolina Reston (did Armani) had just landed an international campaign when she died of anorexia. Petra Nemcova also suffered from an eating disorder and abused laxatives. There are many other models out there. Also, many people with ED's don't look that sick. They may look tired, or a bit pale, but when you're working hard the last thing people are going to think is that you have an ED. Also, in a world with skinny people, the ones with ED's don't attract attention.

Also, lots of models are photoshopped to hell. Take Raica Oliveira for an instance. Gorgeous girl, but she has a bad case of acne. In shoots, you don't see it. On the runway, make-up hides it. Even Victoria secret models have confessed that before they show their bodies on the runway of the VS show, layers of makeup are added to even out any imperfections that are there. Spray tan emphasizes their strong features and hide the lesser ones.

Your view of this industry is pretty idealistic, but not realistic. I wish it was the way you describe, but it's not.

sorry but i know many models and they don't diet.

Do you really? Did they land big campaigns? Also, have you really paid attention to their eating habits? They might have changed without you realizing it. Before I knew my sister had an ED, she had already reduced her food intake dramatically and would cover it up by saying she had a meal on the way home, ate with colleagues, etc. I trusted her, so I believed her. I was wrong.

Topmodels like Doutzen Kroes, Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrioso aren't as thin as their High Fashion colleages. They are allowed to have curves because they need to model lingerie. But if you look at the days they were doing runway, they were much thinner then. Also, some models know how to lose weight efficiently without getting an ED. Getting an ED in those circumstances also has to do with the fact people simply don't know what works. Lots of them just think: eat less=weigh less.