June 6, 200816 yr Okay let me add some jokes hope you understand and like it..Okay this is the 1st joke what I got from my friend who send this through MSN---------------------------Dear Agony AuntDear Editor,I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the gas chamber.My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs.Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death.I love this girl very much and want to marry her.My problem is this:Shall I tell her about my brother who works at Microsoft?Sincerely,Larry
June 6, 200816 yr The Less You Know, The More You Make"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:1. Knowledge is Power.2. Time is Money.As every engineer knows:Power = Work / TimeSince:Knowledge = PowerTime = MoneyIt follows that:Knowledge = Work/Money.Solving for Money, we get:Money = Work / Knowledge.Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.Conclusion:The less you know,the more you make.
June 6, 200816 yr Is Windows a VirusNo, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:1.They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.2.Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.3.Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.4.Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. - Sigh.. Windows does that, too.5.Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. - Yup, Windows does that, too.Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences: Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.So Windows is not a virus.It's a bug.
June 6, 200816 yr Dear Ann Landers,I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy.My parents live in the suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to an Australian.My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana, distribution of Cocaine, as well as Heroin.They are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland.I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non parole life sentence in Mt. Eden Prison, Auckland, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently beingheld in the Wellington remand center on charges of incest with his three children.I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Christchurch and indeed is still apart time "working girl" in a Brothel, however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD.We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancee utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the Madam.I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitutethemselves, at least it would get them off the streets and hopefully the heroin.My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.So, how should I tell her about my brother-in-law being employed by Microsoft?
June 6, 200816 yr Buy a MacI was just having a conversation with someone who is about to buy a Mac.I was against it and an argument started.I said there were too few people supporting the Mac.He responded, "When was the last time you heard of a virus on a Mac?"And I said "See, even people who write viruses don't support Macs."-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Computer AcronymsPCMCIAPeople Can't Memorize Computer Industry AcronymsISDNIt Still Does NothingAPPLEArrogance Produces Profit-Losing EntitySCSISystem Can't See ItDOSDefective Operating SystemBASICBill's Attempt to Seize Industry ControlIBMI Blame MicrosoftDECDo Expect CutsCD-ROMConsumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in MonthsOS/2Obsolete Soon, Too.WWWWorld Wide WaitMACINTOSHMost Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System HangsPENTIUMProduces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of MathematicsCOBOLCompletely Obsolete Business Oriented LanguageAMIGAA Merely Insignificant Game AddictionLISPLots of Infuriating & Silly ParenthesisMIPSMeaningless Indication of Processor SpeedWINDOWSWill Install Needless Data On Whole SystemGIROGarbage In Rubbish OutMICROSOFTMost Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only (for) Fools (&) Teenagers.
June 6, 200816 yr There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.-----------------------------------------------------------------Half The Job"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you."Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine, I'll take two."
June 6, 200816 yr Heaven And HellIn Heaven:The cooks are French,The policemen are English,The mechanics are German,The lovers are Italian,The bankers are Swiss.In Hell:The cooks are English,The policemen are German,The mechanics are French,The lovers are Swiss,The bankers are Italian.In Computer Heaven:The management is from Intel,The design and construction is done by Apple,The marketing is done by Microsoft,IBM provides the support,Gateway determines the pricing.In Computer Hell:The management is from Apple,Microsoft does design and construction,IBM handles the marketing,The support is from Gateway,Intel sets the price.
June 6, 200816 yr Thats all Hope you like it. Its not created by me I just found this from my cousin. Its computer related jokes. Hope you like my 1st attempt Good Bye God bless you
June 6, 200816 yr Yes same here dude I also not understand that. And about the upper stuff , its really very good . Not bad man keep it up. Its make me to laugh laudly whoops
June 6, 200816 yr LooooooooooL really Nice hahaahhaha I don't know where you get these kinds of jokes. Oh man really its change my mood and I'm laughing right now. Keep posting more new jokes
June 6, 200816 yr Yes very funny they are. Look like that girl love her husband so much. I find lots of funny things inside that latter. the upper one is also too good. I also share some of them already in forum. Go and read it too and give me comment after that
August 23, 200816 yr Look what I found today:What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, and 68? At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 - You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed. At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed. At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed. At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story. At 68 - If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story! :|
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