Adrianas Llama Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 do you want me to show you? *brandishes stick* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_ed Posted December 9, 2005 Share Posted December 9, 2005 stop picking on me you sadistic bitch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianas Llama Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 *plays pre-recorded audience laughter* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_ed Posted December 14, 2005 Share Posted December 14, 2005 Mike Tyson and the last one (Y) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adrianas Llama Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 knock knockwhose there?you knowyou know who?That's right, Avada Kedavra! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red_ed Posted December 15, 2005 Share Posted December 15, 2005 stupid harry pothead jokes... <_< Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingSupra Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 Leaving the poker party, late as usual, two friends compared notes. "I can never fool my wife," the first complained. "I turn off the car Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpea Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 The Ugly BusA bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies. They then get to meet their maker, and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done. The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.This goes on for a while but when God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing. When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.Finally, God reaches this guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:"Make'em all ugly again".SO.......................................................THE NEXT TIME YOU'RE "LAST IN LINE".................CONSIDER YOURSELF BLESSED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpea Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!" The lady then, totally disgusted, marches up to the back of the bus to sit down. As she was sitting there absolutely furious, a man asks, "Are you OK, dear?" The lady replies, "I'm so angry, that bus driver just insulted me." The man says, "You go back up there and give that bus driver a piece of your mind, and I'll watch your monkey." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetpea Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 My last joke of the day. A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 a.m. for an early business flight. Not wanting to be the first one to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 a.m." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 a.m. and he had missed his flight! Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It's 5:00 a.m. Wake Up!" Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingSupra Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 q: what is the most sensitive part of your body with you're masterbating? a: your ears Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingSupra Posted December 23, 2005 Share Posted December 23, 2005 A nurse walks into a bank, preparing to endorse a check. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to write with it.She looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then realizing her mistake, she says, "Well that's great. Some asshole's got my pen." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lullaby Posted December 24, 2005 Share Posted December 24, 2005 Dear Santa,You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform. I destroy my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity. What balls you have leaving me a fucking yoyo, a lame whistle, and a pair of ugly socks. What the fuck were you thinking, you fat prick, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn't fucked me enough, you gave that little queef across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house. Don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll fuck you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that fucking bike. FUCK YOU SANTA. Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you FAT COCKSUCKER.Sincerely,Little Johnny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Posted December 25, 2005 Share Posted December 25, 2005 Pretty good... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qball Posted December 28, 2005 Share Posted December 28, 2005 A: Have you heard that joke about a stupid guy and a deaf guy?B: No.A: ..what did you say..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qball Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 A: Have you heard that joke about a stupid guy and a deaf guy?B: No. A: ..what did you say..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taben Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 A: Have you heard that joke about a stupid guy and a deaf guy? B: No. A: ..what did you say..? you laugh of your own jokes ? lool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qball Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 A: Have you heard that joke about a stupid guy and a deaf guy? B: No. A: ..what did you say..? you laugh of your own jokes ? lool That was actually meant to be the most pathetic post ever... Did I do well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taben Posted January 2, 2006 Share Posted January 2, 2006 A: Have you heard that joke about a stupid guy and a deaf guy? B: No. A: ..what did you say..? you laugh of your own jokes ? lool That was actually meant to be the most pathetic post ever... Did I do well? What if i say yes ? what if i say no ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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