Frederick

The trouble is, there are too many terrible teams. Last season everyone was moaning about how the mid-table stretched to about twelve teams, now its all about which team only loses five of their last six games, instead of all six. Assuming Derby are down and assuming that Gary Megson is still rubbish, it'll be between Wigan and Birmingham for the last spot. Being a Villa fan, I want it to be the latter so so badly.

Nick Nolte is the definition of fierce. Kimora Lee just makes me want to be a socialist.

The only Star Wars picture I still watch is The Phantom Menace, though hell if I know why. Its so bad, its not close to being good, but its fascinating in its terribleness. Jake Lloyd, Jar Jar, nearly every line of dialogue... and then there's Terrence Stamp just standing around looking confused. Darth Maul was cool, though.

Y'all see Newcastle's hilarious defending against Portsmouth? And to think people actually wanted "Big Sam" as England manager. They can't even blame it on Titus Bramble anymore, that ship has sailed...to Wigan. Where it shall soon sink.

Now the last two months have been erased from the record, let my endorse the attacking constitution employed by Avram Grant's Chelsea. So he's some Israeli nobody's had ever heard of, I always knew he'd get that team playing good football.

I didn't forget, Egle. Anyway it's cool, I've been called Robert before by mistake. And Will. And you know the one that I get called a lot? Matt. I don't get that one at all.

The Hunting Party Venice Premiere (& Photocall)

Robert?

What's the story with you and Wesley? Did he leave the toilet seat up when he stayed at your house or something?

Man Utd players struggling to score...resorting to desperate measures? According to our tabloid friends

Thank you and goodnight! I've already analysed this game to death so let me just say that I'm very pleased, we played very well and that our second goal may in fact be one of the sexiest goals ever scored by a Villa player. At least it feels that way right now. Given the moment, given the opposition and given Ashley Young's delightful run...classy.

Isn't Bent injured as well? Owen managed to score yesterday and in mid-week but he still looks..."rusty". I hope Heskey tracks back enough to gain the approval of John Terry.

Wait. I thought we were in 1974 and I was reading Melody Maker. Damnit! Speaking of absurd, Emile Heskey's back in the England squad.

News just in... The Beatles are getting back together! Official.

Venice Film Festival, some shindig - 31/08

Lighten up. Its Wings. Nobody cries over Wings. Except possibly Denny Laine's bank manager.

Normally I like to route for the "little guys" like Derby but they're actually quite an unlikable club, managed by what can only be described as a weirdo. Nice Joe Pesci reference, by the way.

BVB won at Rostock but God knows how. Tinga was even worse than usual. A truly awful game that if anyone had to win, it was surely them. Still, a win's a win. I was so glad I decided to check out the final thirty minutes of Fulham-Spurs. What a fantastic, hilarious collapse from Champions League bound Spurs. Or do I mean Championship bound Spurs? Oh how we laugh... Villa-Chelsea tomorrow, not such a laughing matter. A point would be nice, a win veers more towards the unthinkable.

So this doomed film is finally getting released. We could have a new Give My Regards to Broad Street on our hands, folks.

There are about eight million better songs than Mull of Kintyre...Paul McCartney even wrote a few of them.

An old favourite

I don't anticipate too many surprises. I know Man Utd have started the season slowly but Kiev and Roma would both do very well to finish above them. After all, it wasn't that long ago that they completely molested Roma at Old Trafford. If Shakhtar Donetsk and Besitkas qualify, then in the unlikely event that we ever meet up, I'll pay for lunch. Also, I'd have PSV finishing ahead of Fenerbache. Most importantly, Chelsea and Valencia should be too strong for Schalke. And if Rosenborg beat them home and away, well that'd be a bonus.