Frederick

Stephen Ireland on loan to Stoke, contract expires in the summer anyway so he's gone, gone, gone!

Prince Henrikh's coronation! Let's bring Shinji home before tomorrow's done. Moyes doesn't "get it".

An angel.

Its okay, Chelsea achieved the moral victory being as they are such a modest, prudent historic underdog club with a top notch academy You'd never catch them spending a penny that wasn't strictly necessary, not like those gauche superclubs like PSG

Group A: Manchester United, Shakhtar Donetsk, Bayer Leverkusen, Real Sociedad Group B: Real Madrid, Juventus, Galatasaray, FC Copenhagen Group C: Benfica, Paris St-Germain, Olympiakos, Anderlecht Group D: Bayern Munich, CSKA Moscow, Manchester City, Viktoria Plzen Group E: Chelsea, Schalke, FC Basel, Steaua Bucharest Group F: Arsenal, Marseille, Borussia Dortmund, Napoli Group G: Porto, Atletico Madrid, Zenit St Petersburg, Austria Vienna Group H: Barcelona, Milan, Ajax, Celtic

After Wednesday's League Cup match we don't play 'til the 14th. Yay!

The throne is still very much hers,

Chelsea love a stock pile. I think even now Mikael Forssell has two years left on his contract!

Lord knows Chelsea needed another attacking midfielder.

Two games in and we've already seen what will be the worst refereeing display of the season. Pathetic but oh so predictable.

I call him will.i.an, I assumed "we" all did.

I loathe the new away strip and all its ghastly Bristol Rovers connotations but if we play like that in it then I'll gladly buy a few to help pay off Stephen Ireland's fur coat habit.

Top of the league!

Big Darren off to Fulham for the season. I'll go to my grave saying this (not literally) but there's an alternate reality out there in which Martin O'Neill buys him instead of Heskey and we make it to the top 4 and a wonderful new dawn begins. Still, when you think of the dire situation we were in when he actually did arrive he really did all we could ask of him: keep us up, which in itself made him worth the money. Anyway now we're two managers further down the line and the mandate (in tactics but mainly wage bill) has changed and so our time together must end.

Hat-trick on debut for the Fab One from Gabon.

That moment where I start to think heinous thoughts like "is Burnley versus Bolton on the telly?"

Phase 1 of Operation: Vengeance was a success.

Personally I would have taken the £4 million plus Adebayor plus VHS copy of Brewster's Millions (to be delivered in installments) deal that Mr. Levy was masterminding for August 31st at five to midnight.

'extraordinary' and 'Raheem Sterling' in the same sentence? Why, its like that week in September that one time!