Frederick

Lordy lord that was a dire performance ill befitting of a row of tramps, never mind royalty! Felt your boys could have so easily taken the three points, Michael, though obviously confidence and clinical finishing is not quite there at the moment. But better to at least dare to create than reduce yourselves to frighteningly accurate Johnny Wilkinson impersonations. Benteke looked completely off the boil, just didn't look right at all. I'll console myself with this moment of splendor

She was great in Smashed, a real change of pace from what I've seen of her previously.

Look at the post of mine you quoted and remind yourself of the actual point I was making, which was Is Alan Hutton good enough to play for Aston Villa? I say no. Not because we deserve the best full-back in the world or because our history is imperious but because he's not only a mediocre talent but also an ill disciplined caveman. Clear enough? You'd hope so.

Perhaps Marty McFly can go on one last mission to erase all them silly old trophies from our history.

Is there a release date for an album or something to that effect?

Pretty sure they were all filed by 5pm on Friday.

Look forward to our obligatory 0-2 defeat to Chile in 2028.

Dave Whelan told me Wigan bring 95,000 away fans with them wherever they go so this must be true.

Cardiff, Villa and now Sunderland. Pellegrini can't handle the top teams!

One of the greats.

It'll be 0-0.

An evening to forget.

I've noticed my very own Ashley Westwood has replaced mundane functional midfield play with an alarming tendency to slide into reckless tackles while Joe Bennett showed a few Cattermole-esque moves last year, presumably one of many reasons why he hasn't appeared much this season. Fabian Delph, improbably one of our better players in 2013, usually picks up a yellow in the eighth minute of every game but its usually a mis-timed fair dinkum caution, clumsy but with no malice. Alan Hutton (the Scottish Cafu, if you prefer) was, nay, is a genuine, straight-up thug and simply had no place in the sacred colours, as Lambert recognised.

Thuggery thy name is Sunderland.

Danny Huston? Guess there's hope for us all.

Hard to state just how happy this news makes me.

Yep, unfortunately he's our Plan A, B, C and D!

Speaking of soft touches at home, what a humiliating week for Schalke. Men against boys today, Draxler who?

Another great day at Fortress Villa Park for the travelling faithful. Thanks for tickling our bellies, like the imbecilic dogs we are, Everton.

Stick him in, can't be any worse than Phil Bardsley.

A good evening for stakeholders in the Zlatron project!

Back on schedule

I'm expecting a third act twist in which Zlatan and Cristy Ron reveal that they've defected and created their own country - Zlatron.

Just £9.99! Warning: disc may stench of small time nothingness!