Michael*

^Not an artist I'm at all familiar with, but I like the sound of that one. So apparently, a new album by Metric is due in May. If like me you're a raging Emily Haines addict, this is great news. Looks like they're 'doing a Hives' in terms of keeping their return low-key though.

Great job as always Jennka, looking forward to the next one!

^Probably the greatest emoticon ever. And as if it wasn't cool enough to keep badgers as pets and ride around parks on penny farthings, no-one in the other universe has heard of Bono either. Consider me incredibly jealous!

Can't our season just be over already? Though it's reasonably heartening to still see us grinding out points despite entirely lacking in cutting edge up front, the squad's numerous limitations have once again become all too apparent in recent weeks, and it's clear now that the magnificent form following O'Neill's appointment was down to the players simply running on adrenaline. Let's carry on scrapping for those last few available points, finish in the top half (fingers crossed), hang on to Stephane 'Lionel Sessi' Sessegnon (fingers, toes and eyes crossed) and regroup in the summer. As for yesterday's game, well, there was an air of inevitability about it ending scoreless. After several weeks of indifferent form and bore-draws, I'm getting used to it - but sorry Fred for dragging Villa down with us to our now-customary position of last place on Match of the Day's running order. Villa will be alright though, I'm fairly certain of that. The fact that McLeish is still in a job is to say the least, puzzling, but I still see Bolton and Blackburn as strong favourites to join Wolves in the Championship next year.

Johanna Wahlberg [1] Natasha Barnard [4]

Keira

Leighton Meester [9] Isabel Lucas [8]

Cara Delevingne [3] Natasha Barnard [5]

^There shouldn't be any worries on that front - the venue in question (the Gateshead Sage) is equal parts concert hall and school assembly. I think I might go for it.

Did you like it? I thought it was horrible I liked the CGI and battle scenes, but there was very little tension, suspense or genuine heart. Overall, mildly underwhelmed.

Sucker Punch

Ah, that's where I know her from. It's been bugging me since I saw 'Sucker Punch' last month.

I want a domesticated badger.

Have you ever seen Ladyhawke live, Don? She's headed my way in May. Currently very tempted to get myself a ticket.

Drogba's antics were something approaching nauseating but, gotta hand it to them, Chelsea played pretty goshdarned (excuse my language) well last night. In the second leg, on a considerably more expansive pitch, it could be a long night for them.

Football! Bloody hell etc. Bayern 2-1 Real Madrid: Not the end of the world for Jose I suppose, but Bayern were certainly good value for that win. Does Mario Gomez have a unique talent for reading the game or do his supporting cast (with Robben, Ribery and co at their disposal) simply create more chances than most? Arsenal 1-2 Wigan: Tremendous showing by Wigan, pity for all 200 of their fans that Martinez's eventual departure will most likely be followed by the return of Steve 'Stevie' Bruce. Van Persie let me down majorly in Fantasy this week - in fact, the less said about my entire team, the better. From now on, when my instincts say 'go on, swap Aguero and Seb Larsson for Rooney and James McClean' I'll be doing the exact opposite. Chelsea 5-1 Tottenham: Shock horror, 'Arry's legendary man-management skills aren't quite what they're cracked up to be. He should probably take the England job now, while the FA still want him. Chelsea's much-improved form since John Terry Roberto Di Matteo took the reigns confirms one of the footballing world's worst kept secrets - the senior 'pros' were simply against AVB from day one. Sunderland 0-0 Wolves: Sorry, no recollection of that one. Chelsea/Barca tonight, Clasico Saturday. Hopefully, unlike previous encounters, neither game resembles an ill-disciplined kickabout in't park.

Indeed. RIP Morosini.

^The first time I watched this, I was so distracted by the odd goings on in the video that I completely forgot to listen to the song.

^I rarely get the chance to see Bundesliga games but I did manage to catch this one. A brilliantly improvised finish from Lewandowski.

Poor Rebecca. Will she ever get the chance the eat the Chinese food she's been ordering for the past three weeks?

Leighton Meester [2] Amy Adams [2]

1. Isabeli Fontana 2. Michea Crawford 3. Shanina Shaik 4. Miranda Kerr 5. Candice Swanepoel 6. Amber Heard 7. Doutzen Kroes 8. Bar Refaeli 9. Kate Upton 10. Adriana Lima

Oh Jennifer Lawrence, why do you always have to be so mean to squirrels?

What with it being Easter time, would like to thank Christ that we're done playing Everton this season. Also looking forward to Fulham/Chelsea tonight, but only really to see if John Terry plays or rests himself.

Codie