TheBaronOfFratton

^

Lookie at the nice new wallpaper:

^Nice imagery, Joe! But wait, what's that down there in the corner...

NEW VS TEAM REVEALED Like the rest of us, you were probably surprised to see the launch of the new "Bombshells" team, consisting (as of now) of Candice Swanepoel and Erin Heatherton: BOMBSHELLS, BOMBSHELLS, BOMBSHELLS, HOOOOOOOOO!!! Apparently this is all part of the VS expansion plan. According to some square marketing-type we interviewed: 'The "Angels" brand has proven successful, but maybe stale... Plus we can't be bothered anymore to say who is or isn't an "Angel", so we've decided to franchise out and try some new teams.' The Candice/Erin team-up was inspired. 'Well they're both blonde - and then, like, you have blonde-bomshells' this nerd painstakingly explained. Thanks for that Poindexter! Just in case you were missing some chromosomes. Anyway, here, on the 'hot-topic' thread that is Totally Spurious we can reveal VS's newest franchise team: VICTORIA'S SECRET JUNGLE FORCE For over ten thousand years, the spirit of a pure evil known as Dai Shi has been locked away and safely guarded by the Pai Zhuq Razek, "Order of the Claw," a secretive Kung Fu clan. But now, evil has escaped and the Pai Zhuq Razek have selected their four top members to fight this evil. The quartet were sent to find a new master and he gave them the special gift to become Victoria's Secret Jungle Force. They alone are the Earth's only hope to stop the army of evil animal spirits from overtaking the human world. Dai Shi is doing everything, and anything that he can, along with his army of undead, the Rinshi so he can take over the world and have animals rule. He started out with the Five Fingers of Poison, but they failed. Dai Shi controls an army of fear, and the four Victoria's Secret Jungle Force are trying to stop him. When a Rinshi Warrior possessing an animal spirit is too much for the Secrets, each are trained by a retired master in a new animal spirit. > Emanuela De Paula is trained by Master Roar to become the Lion-Zword! Emanuela is the team leader - and is still a little bitter at not being named and "Angel" and missing out on the VSFS '09. This leads to some tension with the other members. > Karolina Kurkova is trained by Master Beak to become the Hawk-Zword. In a shock recall, previously disgraced big-nosed Czech Kurkova got the call from Pai Zhuk Razek when Lindsay Ellingson turned out to be a bad choice. A bitter Ellingson tried taking the container holding Dai Shi. It accidentally opened and Dai Shi took over Ellingson's body. > Selita Ebanks is trained by Master Blow-Hole to become the Dolphin-Zword. In a last ditch attempt to become popular, Ebanks shamelessly canvassed Pai Zhuk Razek into getting the Zword of the most loved animal out there. How this will pan out is as yet unknown... Can she turn it around? > Abbey Lee Kershaw is trained by Master Pincer to become the Beetle-Zword. Abbey's wondering why she's stuck with Selita and Karolina - whom she considers has-beens. She's also unsure of De Paula, who's been passed over for the main squad so many times. Secretively thinking herself above all this she nonetheless fights fearlessly in her armoured Zword form. It is, no doubt, an interesting mix of disparate characters. How their story will unfold across the malls of the US is yet to be seen...

Edita - This is ripe for a particularly sordid take on Heidi!!! (Though you should see Peter. the 'Goat Boy'... ) Chanel - Another one for 'cocktail hour+' at the Baron's country retreat. Caroline - It does have a certain chicness, but I'm not loving the tailoring. Izabel - What's this crap about?

Wow - that's a whole crop of new goodness right there! Don't know where to start...

^Oh, Joe - I hate to break it to you...

Don't know her name, but isn't she the same lady from this commercial (↓)? If that should help...

Mi Hee does not age - she simply evolves...

^Jennka, I simply must know - who are these "fish people", and what do they want with us??? Marisa - Vampish plush deluxe. Tatiana - You see that's the balance of lingerie + frills. (Y) Doutzen - I like cute and all, but little red ribbons on pink gives me a kind of heeby-jeebies... Anja - High-Priestess of the Urine Doom Cult of Skeletor

^Ooh!

Guess who's turned 22? For you, Nozomi-chan...

^Joe, that picture is phenomenal! There are just too many beautiful nuances for comment... Maryna - This is how all superheroes should look. Candice - Again with the unnecessary additions. Like Candice in a bikini isn't perfection enough... Doutzen - Frilly diaper accident. Miranda - What makes you so special that you need a neck-brace made of gold? It's only minor women's whiplash.

^

Flash, February '10:

^You're not wrong - but it appears we are very much in the minority! What's up with that? Still, since this forum's gone "public" Mai has many more visitors out there...

Chanel - Why does the PINK section have to contain so many clothes? I thought this was a lingerie show? You don't need a t-shirt - just that (brilliant) piñata corset. Stitch some damn peace-signs on a bra if you absolutely have to... Lindsay - It's got a 50's glam to it, but the pants are way too big. Selita - Oh why do you keep letting them do this to you, Selita? Aminata -

^Hmmm - trade places..? Thanks, Opaline. (Y) ^Never had that problem myself.

^Very true! And there's nothing wrong about those(^).

Apparently it's Song Jina's birthday. She's 29! And looking as fine as ever...

*SIGH*

And Baron makes three... Joe, I won't bother leaving you in suspense(!): Rosie Rosie Rosie (Ugh, Bar Refaeli - she's, like, what... The ugliest thing in the world!)

Didn't realize the Rosa Cha Otoño/Invierno 2010/11 SPFW catwalk show stuff hadn't been posted yet...

^ (Y) You know, I always appreciate a little Gravia!