Frederick

SS and Ed are the doddery old married couple of this esteemed thread. The rest of us are just making up the numbers!

Cole's hapless substitute appearance against Germany game was like watching Doink the Clown come out during the Royal Rumble, lots of pointless running around before quickly becoming knackered, then getting eliminated.

Anyone know if City have made a bid for Marc Albrighton yet? Speaking of fat chance of winning the league, OUTPLAYED BY SPURS ON THE FIRST DAY OH DEAR OH DEAR OH DEAR. Speaking of fat chance of running faster than a tortoise, Gareth Barry. And finally, good to see Little Joey Cole make such a strong impression so early on in the season. Nice lad and all but you just know he's a spent force*. *stupid first day of the season hysterical condemnation ** or astute thinking by learned prophet

I believe that is correct. Not a million miles away from the percentage that Portsmouth reached.

Word on the grapevine from our pre-season tour was pretty toxic. Fine, then. Off you go. In May, that is because that's when it was clear that something was going wrong. Instead they spun out some vague pleasantry exchanging press release and now after months of NOTHING, we're potentially losing the entire foundation of the club (Martin + staff + Milner + Young) with days until we start the season, not to mention play in Europe. Whatever emerges, its hard to sympathise with any side of the fence when such blatant disregard has been shown to the people who stick it out no matter what, namely, idiots like me. My instinctive thought was that Randy has completely ballsed this up and that Martin leaving is an absolute travesty. I'm sure there's many more shades of grey to this fiasco but whatever the outcome, everyone involved looks like a clown right now.

Well we're fucked now, then. Less than a week before the start of the <word so bad I won't type it in, just in case it makes some 14 year-old admin cry> season, too. If we get Sven or some other crook I'll not go all season (maybe). What a shambles. I thought we were the good guys.

I assume he's now on contract as I've already heard his harsh gravely tones twice since the World Cup, though maybe he is still called in on a game by game basis. Southgate seemed to be freelance during last season 'til ITV stepped in and made him a paragon of primetime, so there's clearly a loot to made from this racket (though in fairness to Gareth, he has a few A Levels, making him a genius compared to his colleagues). I suppose its commercial television so at least its not our money paying Coleman's salary, unlike Alan "well, to be honest Gary we don't much about these two teams" Shearer. Incidentally, a few years back it was said to me that those Sky Sports News in studio interviews with newspaper columnists/Gerry Francis were worth £200 a pop. Not sure if these challenging economic times have brought that figure down a bit but it makes you wonder!* *it doesn't make you wonder.

Good to see Chris Coleman's punditry skills evolving post-World Cup. Criticised in various media outlets and by any viewer with an IQ above a newt for his tedious insistence that "you won't see a better goal than all tournament" seven times a game, the Welsh managerial maestro (currently out of management) really raised his game for today's traditional season curtain raiser, the Community Shield. So what did the deeply articulate ex-Crystal Palace talisman say when Antonio Valencia scored his decent goal to make it 1-0 to Man U? "You won't see a better goal than that all season!" Then, less than an hour later, Berbatov makes 3-1 to seal the victory. So then, penny for your thoughts, Chris? *drumroll* "You won't see a better finish than that all season!" Money. For. Old. Rope.

Yup.

I've never seen an episode, much to the dismay of some of my contemporaries. Finally this week I got my hands on Season 1 and will now hopefully work my way through the episodes with relative ease and maximum joy!

Well, ten years later, here's a second cap.

The Shining (courtesy ?)

That Metacritic review is mildly condescending nonsense that comes with a ton of pre-conceived baggage.

Its quite alright, my love. Like you, I'm a big fan of Elephant (and Gerry, Last Days and Paranoid Park, to lesser extents).

I don't remember saying otherwise.

He has more than a few lesser films on his C.V (and one flat out dalliance with idiocy) but there's also some genuine stunners in amongst the pack.

What's this, a "highly respected" baldy English referee called Howard Webb failing to recognise the difference between a yellow and red card? In a final, you say? Can't quite think where I may have seen that before. Hmm, let me think...hmm....hmm...HMMM...OH YEAH.

I figured the semi-finals were fairly probable but the team has still surpassed my expectations in so many ways. As far as I'm concerned anyone who says they had Thomas Müller pegged as one of the players to watch over the tournament is either a liar or related to Thomas Müller. I mean I thought he'd be worth bringing on with fifteen minutes to go to inject a bit of raw pace but that was about it. Then there's Schweini playing the Ballack role with such maturity, the centre halves being pretty damn commanding, Khedira covering every possible blade of grass, Özil's composure at all times and the tenacity of Captain Lahm. Loew must stay, how can leave such a deliciously poised project? Anyway, it was a wonderful game tonight. Uruguay are just great, a credit to the tournament. Forlan, you magnificent beast.

As I suggested a few posts ago, the kind of ridiculous rhetoric you speak of is usually directed at the bigger named teams, ones with so called blue printed styles of play, of which they're expected to adhere to by the media and quite often the insatiable public, too. Sometimes within this whinging there are genuinely valid points but a lot of it stems from nothing more than lazy punditry and or unrealistic demands.

Win at all costs. Why would or should, for instance, Paraguay try and out pass and attack Spain? Are we saying that the way Spain play is the only style acceptable or deserving of reward? Everyone needs to be able to adapt to any given game, not just the underdogs but also the teams beloved to the neutral. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying 'negative tactics' are something to be overly romanticised about and teams like Greece took it to truly new levels of tedium but ultimately a rear guard century from Shivnarine Chanderpaul is worth just as much as a majestic one from Ricky Ponting. I support Aston Villa and when Sir Graham Taylor returned as manager few years ago, he attempted to make us play attacking, exciting football. It didn't work because the players simply didn't justify such tactics. Now under Martin, we have players that suit width and high tempo passing, making us more attacking and adventurous than any Villa team in years. Use what you have accordingly.

Question for Michael: what's going on between Guy Mowbray and Lawro? Every game they commentate on together has the uneasy tension of a soap opera wedding. And its only getting worse! I genuinely thought Mowbray was going to tell him to during the Germany-Spain game.

I remember people moaning about Brazil in 1994, and in 1998 and in 2002 ("sure they score goals but where's the defense?!") and again in 2006. Regardless of whether or not they win any given tournament, I'm convinced that unless they start playing with actual maracas in their hands (you know, like they used to ) and with five strikers, there will always be the need for constant wistful recollecting about 1970. Don't get me wrong, there's valid criticism to be had in the real world, and Lord knows Dunga's Brazil did little to endear themselves to me personally, but then there's also the Tim Lovejoy generation and their troubling portrayal of football history. People/players/media goons citing England's crap start to Italia 90, now officially re-branded as England's finest hour, as some kind of noble validation of England's crap start to this tournament? Spare me.

Spice World has brilliant cameos and thus shouldn't be anywhere near this list.