Berno Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 Well i guess at the time you could find it funny Anywayy Quote
Berno Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“ Quote
Berno Posted October 23, 2008 Posted October 23, 2008 A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.” Quote
azgirl Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Got some of those for you B..Someone saw a blonde eating a Tootsie Roll Pop and asked her, "So, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll - Tootsie Pop?"Without a thought, the blonde replied, "Beats me, but it took almost the whole day just to lick through the wrapper." Quote
azgirl Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 Here's a 911 call for you..--------------------------------------------------------------------------------There was a blonde that lived in a small house on the corner of 4th Avenue.She had a small shed in her backyard where she kept gardening tools. One day, she thought she saw smoke coming out of the roof of the shed. In a panic she called 911. They answered and said "This is Joe, is there an emergency?" The blonde replied "Yes my shed is on fire!!!" Joe said, "Don't panic help in on the way...where do you live?" The blonde said, "IN A HOUSE, NOW HURRY!!" Joe calmly responded back, "How are we supposed to get there?"The blonde answered back, "DUH!!! A BIG RED TRUCK!" Quote
azgirl Posted October 24, 2008 Posted October 24, 2008 ok you need to have some idea of the history of Abe Lincoln.. I hope you know it a little here..The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job."Okay, honey," the sheriff drawled, "What is 1 and 1?""Eleven," she replied.The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right." Then the sheriff asked, "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"."Today and Tomorrow," she replied.He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now, listen carefully, who killed Abraham Lincoln?", asked the sheriff.The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."The sheriff replied, "Well, why don't you go on and work on that one for a while?"So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her buds were waiting to hear the results of the interview.The blonde was overjoyed. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!" Quote
azgirl Posted October 25, 2008 Posted October 25, 2008 Herve is someone humorous here.. you have been active since yesterday... have two posts and you are already banned.. how did you manage that? Quote
red_ed Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 why are you asking someone that's banned? Quote
azgirl Posted October 26, 2008 Posted October 26, 2008 why are you asking someone that's banned? Quote
red_ed Posted October 27, 2008 Posted October 27, 2008 can he not answer? I just thought it was funny someone can manage that.. it makes me cuious what his first post was.. Quote
azgirl Posted November 12, 2008 Posted November 12, 2008 The little guyA little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?'The poor little guy starts crying.'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. 'I didn't think you'd CRY.' 'I can't stand to see a man crying.“This is the worst day of my life,” says the little guy between sobs. “I can't do anything right.” “I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me.”When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me.So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison. Quote
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