Lyla

Okay, so I've just realised what Kate Moss' last name means. I never met this word before in English, but now that I want to make moss art I had to check it. And I find it so funny that I had to post it here. (oh and wrong topic but wc) 

Dinosaur 

Bump ( I'm just way too sleepy, not high...) 

On 2018. 02. 18. at 4:54 AM, Clauds said:

 

We don't know if he was talking about Barbara back then, and even if it was I doubt he knew about the abuse. Kadel may have just lied about it and be like she's a bitch and really hard to work with and stuff along those lines. And the fact that VS decided to cut ties with both Kadel and Bellemere to make the models feel more comfortable tells me that they actually do care about that kind of things, so i doubt Ed would say that abour Barbs if he was aware of the whole thing

 

And the more I think about it, the more it does seem like the Kadel girl is Barbara. Does anyone know if she used to have a female agent and switched agents? She's always been with IMG but if she did change agents then it's pretty much confirmed it was her, either way this whole story is disgusting I hope both these pigs go to jail and rot there. 

I think she used to have Lisa Benson as agent. Then been passed to Emerson Barth. Not sure about Lisa Benson though, but kinda sure about that Emerson Barth wasn't her original agent at IMG NY. 

But honestly, I have doubts that this model in that article is Barbara. Her downward spiral started after the whole Justin Bieber nonsense. She seemed fine until that. but idk, maybe it's her. 

I just ordered this book: 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/OFF-Your-Digital-Detox-Better/dp/1781575363

I bumped into this while I was ordering other kind of books, and it's cheap so I'll give it a try. I'm curious if it can give me some usable ideas of how to get rid of my internet addiction. I don't know how good is this book in its topic though. 

and I confess that I've checked SI topic pretty much recently...but thanks to MJ Day I kinda lost all my interest in it as she missed the great opportunity to put Barbara on the cover. But tbh I like the actual cover.

Now that it's Super Bowl night I need to spread my realization from a few weeks back... I know some of you call Candice's baby demon and other unkind words. Well, I find him super cute and adorable and I noticed that he looks like a mini Rob Gronkowski.

I'm also proud of myself that I could resist of posting something for quite long. And not pm-ing that much either. 

@La Vie Est Belle thank you! And good luck to you too! 15 days is pretty impressing! 

^ It is not serious anymore. Thanks!   

This will be my last one for you, really, because I just can't resist to write back to this BS. 

I don't have pain. That's the point of all of it. I don't need bz anymore. I realized that I don't and shouldn't need it anymore for anything. But it is kinda like coffee, I'm addicted to it, and I decided to go clean the way I wrote. If you envy this "enlightening" from me then just be bitter about it and keep thinking that I'm just making a "charade" here. I honestly wish for every member, but especially for those who clearly spend way too much time here to realize the same after some time. (And it's not only about bz, but internet itself) 

If anybody doesn't feel good about themselves then it can be a temporary option to use bz, but definitely not a good one for a long term imo. I think then they're stuck somewhere and could find a better way to get out of that place. If you're staying for company here then you're just fooling yourself, you're still lonely. You can find company anywhere if you're open enough, if not then you can work on that.  And if you're not lonely and have company irl then why are you here, why don't you talk to the people around you? Oh they don't understand you? Then find those who does! 

Is this just a hobby? All right. For me it's just completely superficial and boring, especially after years. Once again, I think I can spend my time with better stuff what really gives something to me what really builds my personality. Bz helped me too to realize all of these things. So all of my time spent here worthed it after all. 

If you're offended by any of these thoughts then be so, just leave me alone with them. Thanks. 

I do not burn any bridges here. Cult Icon does. @PinkCouture

@Cult Icon My first post on this topic is crystal clear. That contains everything in short. From now I refuse to reply any of YOUR nonsense here because you're being ridiculous. You should just simply leave this topic alone if you think it's a charade. You're just feeding it with your posts and that makes it a charade. 

As I said I wish all members here who needs it to find a better activity. I always said this, years ago too, that I find it a waste of time. If you're offended because of my opinion then be so, just leave me alone finally and don't act like an idiot. 

On 2018. 01. 11. at 3:48 PM, Sanni said:

It would confirm or deny my theory about the dynamic between you and some other members

None of the commenting members in this topic has seen me. At least I didn't show myself to them. 

I feel really sorry for you by now. You don't even want to understand my point. I understand yours just can't agree with it and I think you're wrong. Could you finally just shut up about it? Thank you 

@Cult IconI don't understand why you're so hysterical. I do what I want. And I do it my way, I didn't offend you or anybody else, you took it like an insult for some reason. Get over it. I'm still here. Just because. But I have this goal to not be here than more than 5 years. Don't give me regulations! 

I don't need any moral support,on the contrary my intend was to give it to those who feel the same like me. You definitely don't feel, so why still be here then? Your insults can come to my mail box,but not here. 

@Sanni why do you have to know that? 

I have a Facebook account but I don't use it (only when it's really necessary). I'm over it for years. But nice try. 

And once again I want to ask those who feel hurt by this topic for some reason to go away. I don't understand these reactions tbh. If you want to use BZ that's your choice, I don't care. I just made this topic for temporary reasons and to spread my thoughts about my decision. If you don't like it, fine, bz is big enough for your thoughts too, I'm not intend to read other topics so you can freely comment about it elsewhere. Once again: I don't care about that. So do yourself a favor! Thank you so in advance! 

P. S. : The negativity and mocking only make me more determined about it. 

I'm not using bz that much as used to, when it was sickly a lot, that time's been over for long. I just can't see why should I spend any more of my time here when I could do something more valuable. Even as a hobby... 

And yes, your unreasonable comments are just as annoying as ever in any other topics, but I see them as cry for help comments, that you want to get attention, because deep down maybe you feel the same, you may not even realized it, it's unconscious. Hahahaha

OH, and thanks for the wishes! 

My goal in 2018 is to totally minimalize my activity on bellazon and disappear by the time I reach my 5th year anniversary of me signing in here for the first time. 

My first step for this was that I basically visited just the General Talk topics most of the time. It was great as my interest in models decreased a LOT (I still can't unfollow all of them on instagram, but this will be a later step)... My next step is that this topic will be the only one I visit (I haven't decided about PMing yet). I think it's a great plan as probably it won't get that much attention from people so I won't have to check the bell in the right upper corner that often. 

That's all for now. I encourage everybody to follow my lead, because you can spend your life with better activities than wasting time on an internet forum (or the internet, but that's too big of a deal for me atm, so that will be my 2019 goal)! If you disagree please leave the topic asap, you have plenty of topics to fill with the product of your frustrations (This doesn't have a negative tone, I just really think that)! Yes, that's the key!

Happy healing for me and for those who may follow me in this! 

Always so relieved after my weekly required phone call with my dad... 

@*Luna* @CandleVixen

For the coconut filling you need to boil 5 dkg desiccated coconut, with vanilla and some sugar or sweetener (4dkg) in 125 ml cream.

The coffee filling needs 30g butter, 50 g white chocolate to be melted, and then add two spoons of cream and two spoons of coffee (instant). And stir until it become smooth. 

The chocolate cream is my invention, based on this coffee cream. I did the same, but instead of white chocolate I used milk chocolate and left out the coffee. I also put some almond in it in the end. 

They were all enough for around 12-16 pieces of chocolate. 

Happy New Year BZ! 

Here's an update of my 'Chocolate Making for Christmas Gift' project. I was quite satisfied with myself,haha. I barely had time to make them,and in this photo they're not even look the final way they looked, I cut the edges and put them in cute boxes.  Most of the family members who got it liked it. I'll definitely will make more times, just need to get some more professional molds and other equipments. It's not so hard to make them at all, just need to be quite quick. I used dark chocolate and milk chocolate too (in this pic i think there's only from the dark version,i didn't even had time to take photos tbh) filled them with coconut cream, chocolate cream and coffee cream. Also made a very clumsy marzipan edition.

@Sanni @Cult Icon @jj3

I love this kind of music. 

It makes me think about time and aging and all those depressing things. @Enrico_sw

My day is perfect, too bad that 2018 will ruin it. 

Beautiful! 

I don't feel the love. From anybody. That's all. Quite bad though. 

Worst Christmas ever? It doesn't seem like. But definitely feels like. 

Ed Sheeran is so cute