azgirl

Ilze reminds me of Rachel Hurd-Wood.. cute but.. Carol X 2 Izle X1

Andrew X3

Diana X 3

highlander

The Irish Farmer's Explanation...... >> >> >> >> >> >> A farmer named Seamus had a car accident. >> >> In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was >>questioning Seamus. >> >> 'Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the >>accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. >> >> Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. >>I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the...' >> >> >> >> >> >> >> 'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor >>interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the >>scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?' >> >> >> Seamus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the >>trailer and I was driving down the road....' >> >> The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your >>Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the >>accident, >> >> this man told the police on the scene that he was >>fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my >>client. >> >> I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply >>answer the question.' >> >> By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in >>Seamus's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what >>he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'. >> >> Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was >>saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the >>trailer and was driving her down the road >> when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop >>sign and hit my trailer right in the side. I was thrown into one >>ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. >> >> >> I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move. >>However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she >>was in terrible shape just by her groans. >> >> Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a >>motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so >>he went over to her. >> After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took >>out his gun and shot her between the eyes. >> >> Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in >>hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?' >> >> >> 'Now what the F*ck would you say?'

LEAVE IT TO WANDA!! Sick day I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'CRAZY' then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was 'CRAZY' and give me a few Days off. A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked 'What are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days'. I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,' ...And where do you think you're going?' She said, 'I'm going home too, I can't work in the Dark.'

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Ilze X3

downloading .. uumm.. no .. I heard that is illegal.. I would not do that .. uumm.. nope

Supernatural..

Oh wow.. I love it when they put the comics into the big screen.. I liked this when I saw the teaser .. the trailer is even better.

YUP .. too many would have related.. hehehe

It didn't matter with how you originally worded your post.. darn and I was going to comment before you edited.. hehehe

Sabrina X 3

OK.. I have not been as good at you with the episodes.. I missed the last.. oopps.

Lisa x1 Sabrina x2

I have Fallen There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned. The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen." The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your wife fell three times this week."

TOP TEN REASONS TO GO TO WORK NAKED... 1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" 2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan. 3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants." 4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse. 5. You want to see if it's like the dream. 6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume. 7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them. 8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk. 9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning. 10. No one steals your chair.

Diane X3

These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. _________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. _________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? _________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? WITNESS: We both do. ATTORNEY: Voodoo? WITNESS: We do. ATTORNEY: You do? WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. _________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? _________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty. _________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? _________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid! _________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? _________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? _________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Guess. _________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. _________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that? _________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral. _________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him! _________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question? _________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

The little guy A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, 'What'cha gonna do about it?' The poor little guy starts crying. 'Come on man I was just giving you a hard time,' the biker says. 'I didn't think you'd CRY.' 'I can't stand to see a man crying. “This is the worst day of my life,” says the little guy between sobs. “I can't do anything right.” “I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me.” When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife in bed with the gardener and my dog bit me. So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the damn poison.

I played D&D and have been playing 4.0 .. I kind of like it .. I love to play a Elf Ranger but am looking for a new character .. I was looking into a Eldrin.. hehehe.. Also, Star Wars and War Machine I am not sure but is War Machine considered RPG.. I mean it is a combat game but IDK.

Filipa X3

Marcus Marcus Marcus