TheBaronOfFratton

Oh, and if you're into torsos then this one's especially for you:

^How lovely to see 'Cohati' again! Thank you all... ^Yes, they are, but it's understandable as they're from before you were born(!) - for Madewell, way back here: http://www.bellazon.com/main/topic/7139-behati-prinsloo/?p=2719246

Late breaking events on what the farm looks like: ^No, no, no - there's only 1 cow there and it's a DAIRY farm... Honestly, VS and Candice clearly haven't hammered this point home nearly hard enough if people still aren't paying attention to this pertinent fact. Candice also loves Brasil. And speaks fluent Portuguese.

^TwoThousandAndGetOverIt.

PLUS you can get some new VS - presuming I'm not committing some heinous unintentional repost due to my absence? Throw caution to that wind: With a 'Valentines' HQ for shits and giggles:

+

Just passing by... (very) Belated 'New Year' wishes and all that! New from Next:

VS 'Holiday Greeting' stills, via (obviously) Madoff Productions:

Behati's 'capsule collection' for THVM (shot by Hugh Lippe) - via L.A.Times:

^No - she wasn't... Your turn!

^Yeah, you know 'what's best'...

Merry Christmas...

I've made a voodoo doll of Niall Horan because he's just not worthy of her: I'm going to stab the fucking shit out of it! :voodoo:

^Yeah! I said I would - I just wanted to prove to Barbara how much I care... It took a long time but her beauty is my penance. For Christmas next week I'm going to cut off my ear for her! :Dinah:

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You need this thread to talk about that thread. Things are sailing smoothly in our Anything about BP thread thank you very much. ^Yes, I think this thread probably will! What's with the "you" and "our" though - are battle lines being drawn? ^Not really, as they amount to the same thing: judgemental fawning plus advice! But I appreciate the reply - it's all meant in jest anyways... ***** I'm going to write Barbara Palvin hundreds of times and then she'll know I have her best interests...

Personally I think Barbara should move that plant in the hallway. It obstructs the view of her dressing/undressing in the mirror from the vantage point with my binoculars on the roof opposite. I do wish she'd think about such things when furnishing her apartment. And that green sofa has to go too... :yuckky:

^I'm loving this post from her thread. Not only do they know what's best for Barbara Palvin, they also know what's best for Victoria's Secret! It's a double-whammy of self-regarding brilliance: Surely this person must already be a VP of a multi-national company? If not SIGN THEM UP QUICK!

Meh - it's already been done...

:shock: IMPOSTERERERS: http://www.bellazon.com/main/topic/51335-anything-about-barbara-palvin/?p=3324541 Why is there a need for that thread when we have this one? It's like my intellectual-property has been violated. I feel...sullied. Pistols at dawn, lyla, pistols at dawn...

Disclaimer: For earnest newcomers, the naïve, and the anal-retentives - this is what's called, in common parlance, a "roast". Don't fret... Oh, and accept no substitutes! What? Nobody said "it's showtime"?!?! Is this going to be a whole new VSFS experience? *We're a rocking, and we're a rolling* No, guess not. Same old shit. All these years, all these irritating "noises off" voices... *I got Behati* *Doutzen's in the house* Yeah, we know. We've all seen enough behind-the-scenes clips to tell you that you have them all because they are all in the same bloody space. There's the hair and make-up bit, and there's the costume bit. It's not a game of hide and seek. *I got Lindsay hiding under the table* *Yeah, Adriana's behind the curtain* *Karlie's standing in the corner with a lampshade on her head pretending to be a light* And then we're off. There's a lot of UK flags, oh look a Mini Cooper, the Queen's profile, a telephone box... Hey, while we're ramming this British point home how about we use some British music too? Maybe a mix of some quintessential bands: The Beatles maybe, Queen, The Who? Nah, let's get some forgettable generic college pop pap that has ZERO to do with it - that'll stick in their heads. But dress Taylor Swift up in a sub-par Spice Girl's dress. That's the spirit... Hey - did you know that Adam Levine is engaged to Behati Prinsloo? ... Well, I was going to go with 'douche', but if you want to use the 'c' word I guess that's OK ... Sure, we'll go with 'dick' then. I agree, they use 'douche' all the time with him, if you look the word up the dictionary after the feminine hygiene stuff there's a picture of him pulling a smarmy face ... Yeah, that dick anyway - how about EVERY TIME Behati appears onstage then we'll cut to him to remind everyone that they're together ... I think it's great idea too ... Sure, nobody will be annoyed with that. It's a radical new idea ... Oh, yeah, Anne V ... No, I don't think people will remember - it was a long time ago now ... Only 2? Oh ... Let's run with it anyway. It won't be tiresome and people will think it's cool that we've made the connection. Quick, look here she comes - and he's fist-pumping: What's with all this arse-slapping? Has that been sanctioned as a "thing" in this year's show? OK, so it's time for the annual Adriana-crosses-herself cutaway. 'Dear Lord, please make it so I can walk, pose, make a face and/or heart shape (or similar) and then walk back again. But please make so that when I do it it is the best thing ever and the fiercest, and that when anybody else does it it's not so good or they are just seen to be imitating me. Amen.' < Obviously she says this really fast. 'Ladies and Gentleman, this is Taylor Swift, and I'm your Chief Flight Attendant. On behalf of Captain Razek and the entire crew - welcome aboard. While we are here to ensure that you do have a comfortable trip with us today, we are also concerned about your safety. With that in mind, we ask that you take the Safety Information Card out of the seat pocket in front of you and follow along as Fall Out Boy perform our safety demonstration.' *We need Candice on this cross* Crucifixion for the saviour already? Ah, it's the 'Monica Mitro Bullshit Slot' - run VT... Yeah, 'what we look for in a girl is...', ' Humble humble humble'. YAWN... Right, 'Shipwrecked'. Maybe we can have some appropriate music this time. No? Oh, OK then... Things I've learnt about being shipwrecked: Only half of A Great Big World make it All Africans can start fires Providing you have an African with you and that's all taken care of, then you can go about your day making jewellery out of shark's teeth (v.important) Lots of corsetry will wash ashore in barrels Hey, here comes Behati: So NOW we're going into 'Shipwrecked'? I know it's all out of order VS, but watch the editing. And now, a quick word from our sponsors: And we're back. Some stuff about being the fit model - no VS, those are Behati's wings from 2009 not 2007; and no VS, that's Lily's outfit from 2010 not 2009. Really VS? 'Parisian Nights' - so this time can we have some relevant music? No, so we're going with a 'throw my toys out of the pram poor-little-me dirge from a scrawny multi-millionaire with lots of bleeped-out sweary bits because I'm like so cutting edge'? Sure, OK then. This section's good though - lots of unblurred ass, Joan looking killer. *Please stop atmosphere now* NOW? When we finally have some?!?! Did Behati need a pee? Right, some gubbins about Paris. Then... THEN - something BAD happened... You know it's bad when the music goes a bit sad and it's all black - yeah, subtle. What is it? Did someone die? [Accident Report: 254355. November 8 2012 2:40pm - Senior Fire Officer Jake Jingleballs] Yeah, we got the call in about 2:30 that afternoon. Some big shit going on at The Bowery downtown. I prepped the guys, told 'em 'look, it's bad down there, real bad, I want you to call your wives call your girlfriends, just tell 'em that you love 'em. OK?' I remember as we got nearer - the noise. I mean the smoke, the fumes, the drama. I'll never forget it. Of course that's when I saw the first responders... [Accident Report: 254355.i. November 8 2012 2:28pm - Paramedic Dirk Dangle] We were on the scene first, came straight there in the chopper. It was carnage. Girls were screaming. And there, in the middle, was... Well, I can't really explain it without getting too... Sorry. I need to compose myself. We see a lot of bad things in this job. But this one, well, this girl's foot... [Accident Report: 254355.ii. November 8 2012 4:14pm - ER Nurse Pamela Pancakes] Apparently it took the guys a long time to get her out of there. When she got to us it was touch and go if we could save it. I remember thinking 'this girl isn't going to be able to walk, pose, make a face and/or heart shape (or similar) and walk back again - not today, maybe not ever.' Then I had to snap out of it: 'not on my watch, Pammy, not on my watch'. [Accident Report: 254355.iii. November 8 2012 5:02pm - Doctor Vincent Vadge] I looked at her lying there. I knew I had to save it. Not just for me and my foolish doctoring pride, but for them, the people, the VSFS viewers. I knew that by this time next year that girl was going to WALK, She was going to walk godammit. and maybe even make a face and/or heart shape (or similar)... So there you have it. Her leg was saved. Her leg did fall off, didn't it? Meanwhile: Bird-themed music this time? Pretty please. YES - 'Phoenix'! I knew you were paying attention VS... Hmmm, try and look like you give a shit Erin. More predictable Izabel-showboating. More Joan looking sexy. Here comes Hilary: "Victoria's Secret make some noise" shouts one of Fall Out Boy - cut to model: Yeah, great editing once again. Or maybe Maria just wasn't listening? Right, well, it seems NOBODY can do a 'sexy look'! #FuckOffPINK "I like to post a balance between family work and charity" And that's why you're seen as the 'Super Fun Angel' Doutzen. "You can just go on Google and see my butt anyway" You sure can Candice. Sometimes even other people take them... Awww... It's nice to take the old folks out for the day isn't it? Look at them, joining in and having a jolly good time. Lily and Taylor are friends. Repeat. Here's your Adriana bit: 'Star of the show', 'She's back!', 'Queen of VS', 'Respect she deserves' etc etc - OK then, happy? <_< Behati had to go again? That's ten minutes later. Maybe she had the squits... She "made it" anyway. *SEND HER! SEND TAYLOR SWIFT!* Alright, calm down... 'Snow Angels' music? No, contractually obliged to have the song Taylor Swift's record company requested. Relevance be damned. 'Phoenix' proves to be merely a tenuous coincidence. Quick, here she comes again - remember to cut: POW! Don't forget: they're engaged. Taylor is right getting in the way and pointing at models as if she's telling a story. Look, Taylor and Lily are friends. REMEMBER? Oh, and here's the Magdalena finale - RUN FOR COVER!!! Usual finale stuff. Although what the hell is Cara doing? :notsure: Ah, so other half of Great Big World did survive. Pretty good going too, do fuck all all day and then come out at the end to schmooze with giddy models all on high after the show and jumping about in their underwear - good work fella, I salute you. Oh, and Big Russ is taking a photo. "Who can say no to Taylor Swift"? Well, I'm no expert Russ but isn't there a long old list of those who have done precisely that? Joe Jonas, Harry Styles, Jake Gyllenhaal...