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The Jokes Thread

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What gets longer when pulled, fits between your tits, inserts neatly in a whole and works best when you jerk it...

?

Joker's Hint : It's not a seat belt, so what's else ?!! :whistle:

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What gets longer when pulled, fits between your tits, inserts neatly in a whole and works best when you jerk it...

?

Joker's Hint : It's not a seat belt, so what's else ?!! :whistle:

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Drummer jokes always get this bass player laughing every time!

Speaking of which

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN INCOMPETENT INCOHERENT GUITARIST?

THE BASS PLAYER

FROM 101 uses for a Lead Vocalist: ROADIE

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Drummer jokes always get this bass player laughing every time!

Speaking of which

WHAT DO YOU CALL AN INCOMPETENT INCOHERENT GUITARIST?

THE BASS PLAYER

FROM 101 uses for a Lead Vocalist: ROADIE

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Bus Trip to Branson, MO........

Gotta beware of those bus trips ! ! !

A senior citizens' group charters a bus from Burlington IA, to Branson MO. As they entered Missouri, an elderly woman comes

up to the driver and says, "I've just been molested!"

The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down.

A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and claims that she was just molested.

The driver thought he had a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting those old ladies?

About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested too.

The bus driver decides that he'd had enough and pulls into the first rest area. When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.

"Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?" says the bus driver.

"I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I try to grab it, it runs away!!"

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Bus Trip to Branson, MO........

Gotta beware of those bus trips ! ! !

A senior citizens' group charters a bus from Burlington IA, to Branson MO. As they entered Missouri, an elderly woman comes

up to the driver and says, "I've just been molested!"

The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down.

A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and claims that she was just molested.

The driver thought he had a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting those old ladies?

About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested too.

The bus driver decides that he'd had enough and pulls into the first rest area. When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.

"Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?" says the bus driver.

"I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I try to grab it, it runs away!!"

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Bus Trip to Branson, MO........

Gotta beware of those bus trips ! ! !

A senior citizens' group charters a bus from Burlington IA, to Branson MO. As they entered Missouri, an elderly woman comes

up to the driver and says, "I've just been molested!"

The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat, and sit down.

A short time later, another old woman comes forward, and claims that she was just molested.

The driver thought he had a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting those old ladies?

About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested too.

The bus driver decides that he'd had enough and pulls into the first rest area. When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.

"Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?" says the bus driver.

"I lost my toupee. I thought I found it three times, but every time I try to grab it, it runs away!!"

OH.MAH.WORD!!!

JESUS.TAQE.THE.WHEEL!!!

:rofl:

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Three nuns die and end up at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter says that before they can enter, they must first each answer a question. To the first he asks " who were the first humans?" She says "Adam and Eve" and he lets her in. To the second he asks "where did they live?" She says "In the garden of Eden" and she too is admitted. Then he asks the third, "what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" She replies "My goodness that's a hard one" and he says 'Yes your right' and opens the gate once again.

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I know this is corny but cute....

Mole Family

A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole all live

together

in a little mole hole.

One day, papa mole sticks

his head out of the hole, sniffs the air

and said, "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"

The mama mole sticks her head

out of the hole,

sniffs the air and said,

"Oh, Yum! I smell honey!"

Now baby mole is trying

to stick his head

out of the hole to sniff the air,

but can't

because the bigger moles

are in the way.

This makes him whine,

"Geez, all I can smell is....

MOLASSES!"

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