Neo52285 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_SohoxChic_ Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest quasicartes Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 She was going to have her face lifted but then she ffound out the price---so she let the whole thing drop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingSupra Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 A hunter spots a small brown bear and shoots it. He then feels a tap on his shoulder, turns around, and is face to face with a big black bear. “You’ve got two choices,” says the bear. “I maul you, or we have sex.”The guy opts to take it from the bear. After recovering for two weeks, the pissed-off hunter searches out and shoots the big black bear. Just then he feels another tap on his shoulder, and turns to see a 10-foot grizzly standing over him.“Admit it,” says the bear. “You don’t come here for the hunting, do you?” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo52285 Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingSupra Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator’s mouth and place my genitals inside, leave ’em there for five minutes, then remove my unit unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?" The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and places his privates in the alligator’s open mouth. The gator then closes its mouth as the crowd gasps.After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals—unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered."Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd. After a few seconds, a blonde woman timidly speaks up. "I’ll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo52285 Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the mascot Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 One winter morning a couple was listening to the radio over breakfast. They hear, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even- numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman`s wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through." Norman`s wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..." Then the power goes out. Norman`s wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don`t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, Norman says... "Why don`t you just leave it in the garage this time?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiro Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo52285 Posted January 18, 2005 Share Posted January 18, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the mascot Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 just saw this on tv. old and used way too much, but its not on herewhy was 6 afraid of 7??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the mascot Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 cause 7 8 9 (Seven ate nine) just in case some people didnt get it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingSupra Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Pinocchio and his girlfriend are in bed, doing what wooden puppets do, when she suddenly sighs. He asks her why, and she replies, "You’re probably the best lover I’ve ever had, but every time we make love you give me splinters." This remark bothers Pinocchio a great deal, so the next day he seeks advice from Gepetto, who suggests a bit of sandpaper might "smooth out" Pinnochio’s relationship with his girlfriend. Pinocchio graciously thanks his creator and goes on his way.A couple of weeks later, Gepetto runs into Pinocchio at the hardware store, where his little wooden friend is buying every package of sandpaper the store has in stock. "So, Pinocchio," Gepetto remarks, "things must be going pretty damn good with the girls, eh?""Girls?" says Pinocchio, "Who needs girls?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the mascot Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars? "Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again. "Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?" She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there." So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them. The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?" "Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..............." courtesy of ebaumsworld Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo52285 Posted January 19, 2005 Share Posted January 19, 2005 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I LOVE ADRIANA Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 lol that was good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiro Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 A guy walking down the street sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100 dollars? "Are you nuts? !!" she replies, and keeps walking away. He turns around, runs around the block and gets to the corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for $1,000 dollars?" he asks again. "Listen you; I'm not that kind of woman! Got it?" So the guy runs around the next block and faces her again. "Would you let me bite your breasts just once for $10,000 dollars?" She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmm, $10,000 dollars, eh? Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there." So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them, but not biting them. The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, "Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?" "Nah", he replies. "Costs too much..............." courtesy of ebaumsworldBLAHAHAHHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the mascot Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 heres a good story about a guy who tries to pay for some food at taco bell with a two dollar billhttp://www.digiserve.com/eescape/closet/si...-Taco-Bell.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiva474128 Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 heres a good story about a guy who tries to pay for some food at taco bell with a two dollar billhttp://www.digiserve.com/eescape/closet/si...-Taco-Bell.html I like that story. Hmmm...I think I have a $2 bill laying around here... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingSupra Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 A man is sitting next to an empty seat on the 50-yard line at the Super Bowl. The guy sitting next to him is puzzled and asks the guy why the seat is empty. “Well,” the guys says, “this game is an anniversary present for my wife and me, but she passed away.” The guy gives his apologies but still can’t get over the fact that the seat is empty. So he asks, “Couldn’t you find anyone to take a seat on the 50-yard line at the Super Bowl? A friend, relative, anyone?” The man smiled back at him and says, “Nah, they’re all at the funeral.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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