Carol sounds like a winner. But let's say she doesn't have those abilities. Let's go to some truly dark places.
I dare you Ed, and everyone else, to take the "How much do you love Carla?" test. Forget the reactions from the men below, how would you react?
Situation #1
You and Carla have been married for some time and have two wonderful children, but things haven't been so great between the two of you lately and then this happens:
Instead of slapping her, what do you do?
A) Tell her how pretty she looks when she says "abortion".
B) Tell her tenderly, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn".
C) Ask her whether it hurt and then hug her.
D) Something else (please specify).
Situation #2
You broke up with Carla (I know, not very likely, but let's say you had your reasons) and sent her away on a plane to get rid of her. A long time passes. You've been in an accident and she comes to visit you at the hospital. And then this happens:
Instead of screaming in pain, what do you do?
A) Roll on the floor laughing.
B) Thank her for visiting you.
C) Ask her to marry you.
D) Something else (please specify).
Two very different scenarios for which I have two very different answers.
Situation #1: I would rub her feet while we watch an NHL game, and I'd ask Carla to order us a pizza before the 3rd period starts.
Situation #2: I would rub her feet while we watch an NFL game, and I'd ask Carla to order us some Chinese before the 2nd half starts.