one man band

I want to move to Denmark.

I just thought I'd put that out there because I really have nothing else to say, and I also have no life. Almost.

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Are you unaware that Sir Blur crafts out his fortunate existence in Denmark? And I hear he is already betrothed to one Kathy Bates.

I must say I am very surprised at the interest in my thread. I intended it for my own amusement, but many members seem to be using it as a pip thread. As long as you adhere to the rules, you may post as many times as you like. However, if you post something completely ridiculous, I may have you give you a good rollicking.

We would prefer a non-graphical "royal" wave. For inspiration, see the Queen of England. But do not, under any circumstances, use her as inspiration in any other alleys of life.

I really don't like English comedy.

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English comedy is, more often than not, comedy of embarrassment. This may not adhere to the laughter-track diet of American comedy most people have grown up with.

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I just don't think it's funny. Does that make me a bad person? I think Chris just lost a great deal of respect for me.

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No, of course it does not make you a bad person. It merely reinforces your American heritage. And Chris is blurdk's name.

The Australian team is yucky and old. Also, I don't think the inclusion of McGrath in the fifth test shall make any difference. It is the fall of an era, sadly. Not to worry though, we shall come back and claim back what's ours.

I might have to comeback to your remarks about the Australian people with taunts about England's sporting incompetence, and remarks about the English team's lack of ability to win the Ashes from a team of convicts for the past 16 years!

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England's sporting incompetence has been well documented for generations. Any further attmepts will be stamping on well-trodden ground. You may lash out if you so desire, but we English are a wary nation full of contempt for those more fortunate than we.

We English must at least try to maintain the commonly held perception that we are but human.

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Is that why all Englishman are so ugly? haha

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I am laughing out loud

But since Lord Lame ass wouldn't let me use smilies I cannot express my feelings properly.

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Why do you feel the need to employ smilies to convey your feelings? A simple "Ha!" will suffice. Or you can just completely ignore this thread entirely.

I really don't like English comedy.

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English comedy is, more often than not, comedy of embarrassment. This may not adhere to the laughter-track diet of American comedy most people have grown up with.

Is there possibly a punishment for mistakes?

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Yes. Cast your lovely eyes but a few pages previous to this and you will find myself rebuking myself most sternly.

And I'm afraid all American comedies are weak at best. Friends is horrific. British comedies are far superior. Have any of you fine fellows seen "Extras" yet? That, ladies and gentlemen, is televisual entertainment at its best.

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American TV is depressing (especially MTV), save for South Park, Family Guy, Simpsons, Futurama, Ren & Stimpy and the like.

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Ren & Stimpy are the scourge of the Earth. If it were not for them, irritating little tykes would find it absolutely hilarious to smear snot and other undesirable fluids all over one's incredibly expensive new Armani suit.

I have a question. Why do British people still spell honor with a 'u' while Americans don't?

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16.7% more value in European honour than in American.

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Well said! This particular post had me almost chuckling.

We English must at least try to maintain the commonly held perception that we are but human.

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Is that why all Englishman are so ugly? haha

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Far be it from me to base the looks of the Australian cricket team as the general attractiveness of Australia as a whole, but Australians have an uncanny knack of being cock-eyed, portly, high-lighted and over boisterous. Any further mention of the English lack of superstar looks will be further tamed with mentions regarding the origin of the Australian people.

Is there possibly a punishment for mistakes?

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Yes. Cast your lovely eyes but a few pages previous to this and you will find myself rebuking myself most sternly.

And I'm afraid all American comedies are weak at best. Friends is horrific. British comedies are far superior. Have any of you fine fellows seen "Extras" yet? That, ladies and gentlemen, is televisual entertainment at its best.

Lady Chicken, you may call me lord, although you may prefer to call me Sir Band, as equality is a hallowed virtue in this thread. Any feudalistic tendancies are not in the spirit of this thread.

Sir Red, do not trouble yourself with such matters. Trouble yourself, instead, with the rather worrying state of Australian cricket.

And Ms. Sin, as far as grammatical nick-picking goes, your talent seems to be swelling. However, such subtle mistakes are only for your own enjoyment. We English must at least try to maintain the commonly held perception that we are but human.

It doesn't come in most of the packages.

You may talk of anything you want, as long as it isn't vulgar. In general, verbal foreplay will be the main order of the day. But no further mention of Seinfield. The most depressingly unfunny program ever to be created.

I have a question. Why do British people still spell honor with a 'u' while Americans don't? Of course, that isn't the only word but I'm just curious. Also, why do you spell it theatre rather than theater? I actually prefer the former, but alas that is not popular around these parts of the world.

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One would think that it was due to the American Civil War. The Americans probably changed the spelling in opposition to British rule. Americans still use the imperial system instead of the, more logical, metric system. I think that says enough!

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The Imperial system is British. Hence the British Empire - simliar etymology (Imperial - Empire). The Metric system is French. Maybe the Americans formed an irrational hatred towards the french. Lord knows why.

::Trafalgar::

When English researchers (in the Middle Ages, I think) found the Latin word "dubito", meaning to doubt, they put a "u" in "doubt". Then they decided that other words, such as honour, valour etc., deserved the humble "u", so put many needless "u"s in the language. Then the Americans decided they would get rid off all these "u"s (I'm afraid I do not know when) since their pronuciation did not require all these "u"s, plus other silly spelling thing the English do ever so well. I remember a village near me when I was growing up called "Trotiscliffe", but was pronounced "Troz-lee". Don't ask me why.

And "theatre" is "theatre" because of french, I think. The french is the same as english for theatre.

I could, of course, be completely wrong, but i'm pretty sure that is correct.

Well of course you would prefer your own answer, but I suspect that the honourable gentleman has merely misjudged the tone of this thread.

I shouldn't think so. Maybe it's on ESPN 1354345.

I knew you were gay. Or at the least, very camp.

Such lack of any attempt at proper speech can only mean one thing, I'm afraid old boy - you are, in fact, clinically unable to type anything that doesn't include a smilie or pointless abbreviation/nerd speak. Then again, not everyone was going to be up to the challenge.

Hehehe...you should watch it. It's like baseball, but slower and much more exciting at the end, but you have whole nations aginst each other rather than just having cities or states playing against each other.

Such pointless gibbering means nothing to me, you cretin, Heidegger. I'm sure Vaginal Perfume thread is better suited to your...tastes, or all too clear lack thereof. Disperse!

A strange mix...

1. Bob Dylan - Hurricane

2. Goldfrapp - Slide In

3. Echo & The Bunnymen - The Killing Moon

4. Robert Parker Jr. - Ghostbusters (yes, the film theme tune)

5. Sergio Montegnegro - The Good, The Bad And The Ugly (the whistling bit)

6. Flock of Seagulls - I Ran (So Far Away, (it's on GTA Vice City))

7. The Beatles - Norweigan Wood

8. Soulwax - Krack

9. Gomez - Whipping Picadilly

10. Ike & Tina Turner - River Deep, Mountain High (a classic)

...pretty bloody good though. Except for 8 and 6.

Cricket is awesome. Best sport ever takes some patience, which may not be a virtue you hold dear.

Once a person has that much plastic surgery a lot of what made them human has been bleached with chemicals or bolstered by silicone.