yours_forever

OMG me tooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Wondering why no one is on msn... Lonely and bored! :persuazn:

I am your friend too! Make me famous! *strikes a pose*

^and bicardi :yuckky: But the strip tease was my favorite part! That was a hot little dance you did Des...

Welcome to BZ Jose... what do you like to do in your spare time?

Welcome... you are a man of few words aren't you? What brings you to BZ?

Welcome... don't mind all the crazies!!!

OMG!!! It's R2!!! That's hot Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... cute little puppies!

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect. "Easy, " she replied. "He only has one eye." The chief was stunned. "He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!" He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him. "He only has one ear, " was her answer. "What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!" He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, "How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer." After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, "He's wearing contact lenses." This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, "How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!" "Well, " she said, "he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?"

President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The barman says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?" Bush says, "We're planning WW III." And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?" Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big tits." The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits?" "Why kill a blonde with big tits?" Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!" __________________________________________________________ January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!! March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it??? October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!! What a year!! ______________________________________________________________________ A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section. The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here." After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here." The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss. "I told her first class isn't going to Detroit." ______________________________________________________________________ This fat guy sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They strip him and lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute. He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a gorgeous blonde, stark naked, with a sign saying "If you catch me, I'm yours." He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg. He's back on the street and starts to think. "Jesus, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..." So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg." "No problem," says the manager. Again he strips, and is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door when it opens. Out comes a gorilla with a sign "If I catch you, you're mine."

Don't worry!!! Destiny and I were keeping our eyes on him

Hello guys!!!! How are you? How was your new year's?

I love blonde jokes :evil: : A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!" ________________________________________________________________________________ _________ Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around! ________________________________________________________________________________ _________ A blonde was walking her dogs when a man walking in the opposite direction says "oh my, you have such beautiful dogs.. what are their names?" The blonde replies "Well, the taller one is Timex and the shorter one is Rolex." The man responds "Huh.. that's interesting.. why did you name them such names?" The blonde sighs and shakes her head "Everyone keeps asking me the same thing... duhh, what else can you name your watch dogs??" ________________________________________________________________________________ __________ A blonde stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, Ma'am?" said the librarian looking up at her. "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" Puzzled by her complain the librarian asked "What was wrong with it?" "It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" said the blonde. The librarian nodded and said, "Ahhh. So you must be the person who took our phone book." ________________________________________________________________________________ _____ A smart blonde There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00 The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. ______________________________________________________________________________ A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...." "Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

Guys!!! I am soooooooooooooooooooo bored right now... is anyone on?

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYGG GGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I love it!!!! Thank you beautiful!!! I will use this one a little while longer... then I'll switch!

Leona Lewis! A Moment Like This Girl I don't need you, but you need me Take it off, let if flop, shake it freely And I don't tell stories, I let 'em tell theyself And you ain't gotta sell sex, girl, it sells itself, like nothing else Yeah I'm a country boy, but that big city bottom fill me up with joy Ain't life grand (life's grand) living up daddy Here go the whisper song, baby this is us ready? Put it on me enthusiastically, whatever it is that you do, you do it admirably And I ain't choose it, that thing chose me It's ######## and ##############, all the way in this thing Yo!

I don't know... Draw a picture of him... that's what I did...

*Comes back, pokes midnight, and runs*

^those are cute stockings!!!!

Ohmygosh... I know this!!!! I know this!!!! Why can't I think of the name!!!!!!!!

That's why I said no cheating you!!! :trout:

^It's not as much of a porn as it sounds... at least I don't think it is... now that I think of it, I don't believe I really watched the whole thing. OMG!!!!! Jon is a porn star!

Okay... I would verymuch like another set... once again, the pictures won't match but you guys are so AMAZING, so I'm sure you will do a good job! This one has Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Chace Crawford, Jensen Ackles, Ryan Taylor, Adam Senn, and Andrew Cooper. Thank you much!!!

*looks around and leaves*

^haha! Maybe he was soo drunk he didn't realize you weren't there Guada!!!!

That's quite a range of pictures you've got there! It goes all the way back to his Queer As Folk days... he made a pretty convincing gay guy... Anyway, thank you! He's lovely man