the mascot

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He`s going through his usual run of stupid blonde jokes, when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "I`ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blond jokes, asshole. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does a person`s physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It`s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large all in the name of humor." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blond says, "You stay out of this, Mister! I`m talking to that little bastard on your knee!"

not nessecarily a funny site, but a site that i have spent countless hours on is http://www.slimeathlete.com/show.php?page=index get some music playing, and some slime volleyball going equals some good times

rock mostly, im jamming to some....well pearl jam....right now.

im not the tallest guy in the world, so of course i decided to play the tuba. but when i started, way back in 4th grade, the tuba was bigger than me.

a good site for just random things is http://www.ebaumsworld.com/ it has a little of everything

A drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. He gets up, staggers to the table, leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "I went by your grandma`s house today and I saw her in the hallway buck naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The biker looks at him and doesn`t say a word. His buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans on the table again and says: "I got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The biker`s buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. The drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "I`ll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says, "Grandpa,....... Go home, you`re drunk."

so a pirate walks into a bar. the bartender sees that he has something sticking out of his butt. its turns out to be a long pole. on the end of the pole is a wheel, and sitting on the wheel is a parrot. so the bartender asks "hey buddy, whats up with that contraption sticking out of your butt?" the pirate replies, "Yarghh, he's driving me nuts."