LEAN ON ME Joe Clark: Discipline is not the enemy of enthusiasm. ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: There's only one boss around here, and that's me. The HNIC. [Exits] Mr. O'Malley: "HNIC"? Ms. Levias: Head nigger in charge. ------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frank Napier: If you're so hot on discipline then, goddammit, start by accepting mine. Because contrary to popular opinion, I'm the head nigger in charge! ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: The Lord said, do whatever you have to do. And he didn't say "Joe, be polite." ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [to Thomas Sams] If you want to kill yourself, don't fuck around with it, go on and do it expeditiously. ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: Go on. Jump! Thomas Sams: [Crying] No, sir. I don't wanna jump. Joe Clark: Yes, you do! You smoke crack, dont ya? You smoke crack dont ya? Look at me, BOY! Don't you smoke crack? Thomas Sams: Yes, sir. Joe Clark: You know what that does to you? Huh? Thomas Sams: No, sir. Joe Clark: It kills your brain cells, son. It kills your brain cells! And when your killing brain cells your doing the same thing, only it slower! Now, I say if your gonna kill yourself, don't fuck around with it. Do it expectiously! Now go on and JUMP! Thomas Sams: [sobbing] No! No! I don't wanna do it! ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [looks at the boys restroom, suspects Sams is hiding something] What do you got in here, Sams? Thomas Sams: You don't want to go in there Mr.Clark it stinks! [Clark grabs Sams and they go into the boys restroom] ------------------------------------------------- [With a baseball bat in his hand] Joe Clark: They used to call me Crazy Joe. Well now they can call me Batman! ------------------------------------------------- Thomas Sams: Girl! I look at you and I want that oochie coochie! ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: I don't have to do nothin' but stay black and die! ------------------------------------------------- [after refusing admittance to the Fire Chief] Joe Clark: You know what he's saying right now? "Black bastard can't throw me out!" You know where he's saying it? Out in the parking lot. ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: Get off welfare! ------------------------------------------------- Thomas Sams: We don't want a good principal! We want Mr. Clark! ------------------------------------------------- [Addressing students] Joe Clark: They said this school was dead. Like the cemetery it's built on. But we call our Eastside teams 'Ghosts,' don't we? And what are ghosts? Ghosts are spirits that rise from the dead. I want you to be my ghosts. ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: The problem with teenagers today is you don't know nothing. The problem with being a teenager is you think you know better than those who have been down that road you're traveling. ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: Forget about the way it used to be. This is not a damn democracy! We are in a state of emergency and my word is law! ------------------------------------------------- [addressing the students during an assembly] Joe Clark: I want all of you to take a good look at these people on the risers behind me. These people have been here up to five years and done absolutely nothing. These people are drug dealers and drug users. They have taken up space. They have disrupted this school. They have harassed your teachers. And they have intimidated you. Well, times are about to change. You will not be bothered in Joe Clark's school. These people are incorrigible. And since none of them could graduate anyway, [turns to the troublemakers on stage] Joe Clark: you are all expurgated. You are dismissed! You are out of here, forever. I wish you well! ------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frank Napier: Don, the man has a legitimate problem. How's he supposed to keep drug dealers out of his school if their buddies can just push open the exit doors and let 'em walk on in? Mr. Rosenberg: He's got a point, sir. Mayor Don Bottman: Rosenberg, this doesn't concern you. ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [addressing teachers] You think you can run this school? If you could, then I wouldn't be here, would I? No one talks at my meetings. NO ONE! You take out your pencils and write. I want the names... of every hoodlum, drug dealer, and miscreant who's done nothing but take this place apart on my desk by noon today. ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [at teachers meeting] You know why you're being demoted, Mr. Darnell? Because I'm sick and tired of our football team getting pushed all over the field. Thank you, sit down. I want PRECISION. I want a weight program. And if you don't like it, Mr. Darnell, you can quit. Same goes for the rest of you. You've tried it your way for years. And your students can't even get past the minimum basic skills test. That means they can HARDLY READ! ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [after asking teachers to put up their hands] Because you are failing to educate them, this is the posture that many of our students will wind up in. Only they'll be staring down the barrel of a gun! ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [at school assembly before the skills test] And I've got a message out there for those people who have abandoned you and written you off. You are NOT inferior. Your grades may be. Your school may have been. But you can turn all that around and make liars out of those bastards in exactly one hour, when you take that test, pass it, and win! ------------------------------------------------- Mayor Don Bottman: What do you want? Leonna Barrett: Clark! Mayor Don Bottman: Just like that, huh? Head on a platter. Leonna Barrett: You think I got an attitude. Well, let me tell you what I think. I know why you like Clark. He's a guard dog. Does your dirty work. Keeps the black folk in line - that's fine. But you've got to get re-elected. I've got enough folks lined up with me to give you a DAMN hard time, and I will get more. I will organize. I will beat the streets. Mayor Don Bottman: Unless I do what? Leonna Barrett: Appoint me to the school board so we can vote Clark out. Otherwise, we'll just have to vote you out. Mayor Don Bottman: Vote me out? You know, it's always good to see citizens avail themselves of the democratic process. Leonna Barrett: My job's gonna be easy. You're not too popular these days, are ya? ------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frank Napier: I'm the head nigger in charge! [walks to the door] Dr. Frank Napier: Lets go get some food Joe Clark: You think your really bad, don't you? ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: Mr. Major, on behalf of myself and on behalf the students of Eastside High, you can tell the State to go to hell! ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: Don't talk to me about saving those kids. The mayor wants to save his budget. And you wanna save your ass! Dr. Frank Napier: Well, so what? You want the truth? Joe Clark: Yeah, Frank. Let's have some truth. Dr. Frank Napier: The truth is that for all your talking, all your 'Crazy Joe' routine, what have you ever done? Nothing. You're nothing but an insignificant man. It's like you were never born. Your life hasn't made one bit of difference, and neither has mine. Wanna take that to the grave? ------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frank Napier: [to Joe] It's like you're a Big Bird with radar. And I'm tired of getting hit! ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [to the Eastside students who have gathered outside City Hall to demonstrate on his behalf] Wow... Somebody tell me why I can't get this kind of turnout for study hall! ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [removing Sams' baseball cap] Hey, son... Put something in your head, not on it! ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [to Kid Ray, who is leaving school to work for a crime syndicate] ... You'll be dead in a year, son. Hear what I'm saying? You'll be dead in a year! ------------------------------------------------- Dr. Frank Napier: [speaking to Clark] Brother, I will go through the... fire with you! But you are not taking over. This shit you're pulling now, you've just gone plain loco ------------------------------------------------- Mr. Darnell: Mr. Clark, just what was that all about? Joe Clark: I said, "No one move, during the singing of the school song", If you can't understand that, find yourself another place to work. Mr. Darnell: I was picking up, a piece of paper. Joe Clark: You're the one who contradicting me, in front of my students. Mr. Darnell: They're my students, too. Mr. Darnell: THEY ARE MY STUDENTS, MR. DARNELL! Mr. Darnell: Just what are you tryin' to prove? I'm workin my ass off of you, too the demotion and I'm doin' my job! You just getting your rocks off, for treating me like trash! Joe Clark: No sir, that's what you're picking up. Mr. Darnell: [slamming the folders onto Clark's desk] God Damn it! YOU GIVE ME, THE GODDDAMN RESPECT, AND DAMN WELL OF YOURSELF,OR I WILL KICK YOUR BLACK ASS! Joe Clark: You are suspended sir, as of RIGHT NOW! GET OUT! Mr. Darnell: AHHH! [dumps Clark's desk on it's side] ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [explaining why he expelled students from his school] They say one bad apple spoils a bunch. Well what about three hundred? Rotten to the core! ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: We sink, we swim, we rise, we fall - We meet our fate together. ------------------------------------------------- Joe Clark: [after bringing down a drug dealer] Get this disgrace to his race out of here! ------------------------------------------------- Clarence: [mimicking Mr Clark] Let me give you the key to my office. Francesca: Ooh, your office! Clarence: [puts his hand in his gym shorts] Whoa, THAT ain't the key!