The Maxim Hot 100 list was mostly released today. The annual rundown of famous female eye candy sends men to the Internet each and every year. The top 10 won’t be revealed until Wednesday, however. So we got to thinking — and studiously researching — who wasn’t included among the first ninety gorgeous ladies.
10: Jordanna Brewster. She’s fast, she’s furious and she’s graced their pages with her hotness before. The dark-haired dark horse makes summer even hotter at #10.
9: Gisele Bundchen. Pros: amazingly gorgeous and successful international lingerie supermodel. Cons: already married to the mister wonderful of the sports world, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady. Her marital vows keep her held down here at #9.
8: Evan Rachel Wood. She may or may not still be in a relationship with Marilyn Manson — I honestly can’t remember or tell anymore. In fact, their status may change between now and Wednesday when the top-10 list comes out. But her work in gritty, sexy roles help the redhead overcome those shortcomings for a highly respectable eighth on our list.
7: Katherine Heigl. Kate stole the heart of every guy who saw “Knocked Up” as the hot, yet somehow attainable Alison. Her work in “27 Dresses” and “Grey’s Anatomy” may appeal more to the female demographic, but the blond bombshell has more than enough male fans to earn herself lucky #7.
6: Paris Hilton. Let’s face it, gentlemen. Money talks. And so does a very polished, manicured and professionally styled image. The heiress may have already had her escapades published on the Internet (no, I won’t make that a link), but she’s still a beauty. The most photographed woman in the world buys her way to #6.
5: Ali Larter. Did you see “Obsessed”? OK, I didn’t either. But when they make a movie where the plot centers on how gorgeous an actress is, she is definitely something to remember. Many will remember her whipped-cream bikini scene in “Varsity Blues,” but the all-American beauty has been in plenty to remember since then. We’re obsessed enough with her for #5.
4: Kristen Stewart. She won our hearts in the “Twilight” series and, although co-stars Nikki Reed and Ashley Greene have already made the list, we vote for a “Twilight” hat trick here at number four.
3: Jennifer Love Hewitt. JLH is on the cover of the current issue of Maxim, so she’s not a likely candidate to repeat as the hot-list champion. Or is she….? Anyway, she had us at “Party of Five” and “Can’t Hardly Wait” years ago and we’ve never left her. Not even that dark period where she made “The Tuxedo” and “Garfield” and “Heartbreakers.” The ghost whisperer leaves us whispering “number three….number three….”
2: Megan Fox. The “Transformers” star has topped lists in all kinds of men’s magazines since she first sauntered onto the screen leaning over Bumblebee’s hood. Her bad-girl tattoos, gorgeous eyes and fluid sexuality all get guys panting. Although she might be the total package — and the likely winner tomorrow — she’s only good enough for # 2 on our list.
1: Lauren Conrad. And in a stunning upset not seen since Cook beat Archuleta, “Hills” queen bee Lauren Conrad steals the limelight in her final season on the show, nabbing the top spot on our list. Take that, Heidi! Enjoy your victory lap, Lauren. We’ll miss you.