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Ooh Ooh -- Do Dinosaurs Next!: Scientists Recreate Woolly Mammoth Blood

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A group of scientists from around the world have successfully recreated woolly mammoth blood, reigniting the Geekologie Writer's hopes of some steamy dino lovin' in the not-too-distant future. You know, it's amazing what scientists can accomplish when they're not busy perving out on robots all day long.

The process uses DNA extracted from 43,000-year-old mammoth bones and then duplicated inside E. coli bacteria cells. It could easily be adapted to other extinct species, the researchers say, suggesting future medical labs full of dinosaur blood (if not full-fledged dinos).

They converted the blood DNA sequences into RNA, and inserted them into E. coli bacteria. The bacteria acted as RNA factories, manufacturing authentic mammoth protein.

The resulting hemoglobin molecules are no different than taking a blood sample from a real woolly mammoth, Cooper said.

The concept could conceivably be used for any extinct species, as long as scientists have DNA samples.

Listen: I want our top people working on dino-cloning, STAT. That includes you, Stephen Hawking. I don't care if physics is your bag, you're gonna make me a dino goddamnit.

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Man Dies After Swamp Eel Eats His Bowels

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No, not bowls like cereal bowls, I'm talking bowels -- his butt-parts, yo!

Shocked doctors in Sichuan, China, found the sea creature in the 59-year-old man's rectum after his death, it has been reported.

The 50cm long Asian swamp eel was allegedly inserted into the unnamed man's bottom, after he passed out drunk, by pals playing a prank on him.

Medics said the eel had devoured his bowels.

wtf!!! Listen: if the people you're hanging out with have a penchant for stuffing things up your ass when you pass out drunk you need to run DO NOT WALK to a new group of friends. I mean, WHO SQUEEZES AN EEL UP A DRUNK MAN'S ASS?! That's not a prank. Drawing a penis on someone's face is a prank. Jamming a fish in their rectum is a PRACTICAL JOKE.

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