midnight lady

getting ready for bed

listening to music and angry at my mother

thanks singing

for how long do you have anorexia ire?

Yes that too! I forgot to mention it! I wasn't that sure for the ring, but when I saw the thing with the door...

my back aches

how to lose a guy in 10 days 13 going to 30

I know!!!! :| I recognized the ring and then I saw the preview for the next episode

hero...with dustin hoffman

oh I guess that's okay now lol reading different stuff on the internet...

that works for me only when I'm learning math or doing any research on the computer

ate half of my lunch, listening to music now

listening to music

b-o-r-e-d!

a little bored, tired of reading and now listening to some new songs I downloaded

back home from the cold outside :| I wish I could snow faster

sleepy and later going to my chemistry course

of course you can...start drinking before you arrive at the party that's what a girl did when we were in our excursion last month in albania she did this every night for a whole week and always ended puking in the bathroom and passing out before the party really started lol chatting & listening to music

it's the first time i come and i read this thread. i think i always tried to stay far away from this thread. i think you're "lucky" you because your "family" support you and it's sometimes good. about your father i think if he doesn't understand your problem, he won't. it's really sad to know that people can be able to judge you about your physic when they know it can destroy you. unfortunately, sometimes i think the problem is not the fact to be slim or fat the the people's behavior... how they interact with us... and i think you're right. this sickness can follow you all your life my family know my bulimia but they don't take care of it. i talk about my problem with my friends but i never talked about it with my parents. they allowed me "everything" (but they want to se me married with a very rich guy but they are against my voluntary in associations and when i became vegetarian during months my dad was very angry, he insulted me as to be vegeratian was one of the worst thing of earth. his behavior was just crazy.) and the never told me "make your homework, you must be at home at 8pm, don't smoke, don't drink". at first because i lived in hospital i was "free" but i never be a "difficult" kid. when i was 13 years old they allowed me to drink alcohol, to smoke, to have sex, to drive a motorbike, go in nightclub, my mum spent her time to influence me to date with her friends. my parents had friends of 23/30 years old and because i looked older the boys turned around me and and my mum didn't stop to say "oh, you should date with this guy, he is great", they ask me to come with them in casino in 15 years old, the striptease club when i was 16 years old, and sadomasochiste club when i was 18 years old. not they are SM but the club owner was one of their friends. and at 17 years old when i had the crazy idea to be astrologue they accepted. so i was in the youngest student in official school in europe... and i think if i don't stop to make breaks in the end i will be the oldest too. i always be "free" and prisonner in same time. when i was with my friends, my parents always talked with us, when i was at phone my mum stayed near to my bedroom's door ti listen my conversations, she spyed me. she thought she was discret but she wasn't... etc etc etc. i think they tried to be "teenagers" to proxy. they wanted to be 25 years old so they used me to feel younger. now i hide everything, i refused to introduce my friends, my boyfriends. i can be very "secret" i always be more "mature" than the kids of my age and when i was 13/14 years old i spent my time with my teachers. i really loved my history/geography and french teachers. i was their best pupils and i spent my time to talk with them one of my french teacher, Amandine, was often at home... sometimes we left the school together in her car, she lived at miles from my house but it wasn't a problem for us and when i was sick she always tried to come at home or give a call to have some news. when she left the france for the new caledonia she sent me adorable letters. i love her so much. she is a sweetheart. my family is "special"... my mum lived in a house with 4 tranies, her sister is maried with a black men, my great grand mother from my mum was divorced to my great grand father and my grandmother lived with him. my great grand mother remarried with a guy really younger than her and it was sometimes rare there are 60 years old. my adoptive cousine is lesbian and my grandfather commited a suicide the last year (not because he was depresive but because he wanted to have a "good end". from my dad side, his sister his lesbian and pollygame. she was clothes designer and worked for thierry mugler but now she lives in the south of france and make pottery on cars park with her 2 girlfriends, her sister is clother designer too but she works since 11 or 12 years for a very famous french actor, Gerard Depardieu and we think she never will be married, his father was married to a women of 18 years younger than him (his sisters' mother) and my dad's cousine is lesbian too and another of his cousin (a boy) is married to his own cousine :x so in this kind of familly, where everybody is very free it's hard to find limits... and teenagers need limits, they need attention and i never have this attention. when my dad was accused of pedophilia by my grandfather and my aunt and when my dad tried to commited a suicide i think i was totaly lost and i needed limits but because of the situation i think it should be egoist from me to focus on my problems and i think they thought my bulimia was a fantasia to attract their attention... as a regression. you know, like a kid who will urinate in his bed because now he has a little brother and he regress to have the parents' attention. my parents refused to see me regressed and i evacuated all my violence, my pain with the bulimia i tried to have limits, to find an autority, something who can say "stop it". they take care of me but not as i want. they never be normal parents and my bulimia helped me to keep a control on my life. i think it was a way to have their attention too and i never have it. they never try to understand me. the only think they did was "buy more food". i destroyed myself and even if they knew they never tried to help me and i don't understand why because they always knew i'm sick. they always were here to pay a dress of 2000 or 3000 euros but i could killed myself just in front of them and they won't react. they aren't bad person but they are just blind, they understand nothing. their priorities and their limits are crazy and even if i love them i prefered to kill myself than to be like them. they are all the time together since 30 years old. they do everything together and when i watch them i just wonder "where is the love ?" as all their life was a routine. their private life is so boring than they need to live another life by proxy and i think that's why they allowed me everything, they always say "yes" but in same time they never take care of the things i could feel. they were in paris with me and they are felt there are two days and i just feel so much better and my bulimia crisis are less important. i try to rebuild myself, try to find the good way where i could be peaceful with myself and people around me. make voluntary in association the who calm me. i have the feeling to make something positive of my life. i'm less angry. i give my time, my love, to people and this is possitive for me. i think one day i will be enough strong to stop the bulimia. just hope it will be soon. This is so sad, I really sincerely feel with you...I really believe that parents ought to have curfews, and not try to act like they allow you everything when they really mistrust you and in this way they try to gain your confidence... Mine are something like that, but not that they are really uncaring. They allow me almost everything, but my mom always wants to come and take me if I stay at a party later and I hate this when I could as well some back with a cab-they simply don't believe even when they know that I can't lie Not that this is similar to your case but I agree with you for the boundaries thing...I rather wished that they wouldn't allow me some things and not try to act as they have faith in me, when they double check everything. But lately I decided that it wouldn't matter to me...I can endure another 8 months and then I'll be off for collegewhich hopefully and with a little luck will be abroad. As fol eating disorders, sometimes I think that even if I wanted to have bulimia, I wouldn't be able to do it. Like once, on new year's eve I ate soooo much that I couldn't move, and I went purposely to the bathroom and tried to puke for maybe 15 minutes thinking about the grossest things and putting my figers down my throat, and in the end nothing ... :| Even if this isn't really true and that with a little practise I maybe could achieve to "puke" I like to think that way, that I can't have bulimia even if I wanted to I hope everything turns out well for you...I think you should start with your head and make some kind of compromise with yourself...like this has to endstarting from NOW!

happy for the new pair of boots I bought

bored...thinking of going out hehe

a heartbreaking episode I actually felt more sorry for damon than anyone other...

I like her outfits a lot

lol start preparing for it listening to music and happy for my day off-school

that sucks :| listening to music