you asked for it :evil: WHY????? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can a stupid person be a smart-ass? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can fat people go skinny-dipping? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is the man who invests all your money, called a broker? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food? There is fish flavored! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If all is not lost, where is it? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty liter? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How did a fool and his money get together? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's another word for thesaurus? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do they use to ship styrofoam? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is abbreviation such a long word? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Does fuzzy logic tickle? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What was the best thing before sliced bread? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can you be a closet claustrophobic? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's another word for thesaurus? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is it possible to be totally partial? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Would a fly without wings be called a walk? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When it rains, why don't sheep shrink? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If "Q" were castrated, would he become "O"? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If Superman could stop bullets with his chest, why did he always duck when someone threw a gun at him? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Isn't Disney World a people trap run by a mouse? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Where does the fire go when the fire goes out? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's another word for Thesaurus? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's another word for synonym? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So what's the speed of dark? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or file name"?
