not really a joke but an aim convo i had with my friend's girlfriend....this is before we ever met and im amazed we're actually friends Vespa Woman 777: WHATS UP ********!? n1tro junkie: um....hello? Vespa Woman 777: You are too rich and suck at paintball. n1tro junkie: you lost my attention when you said "you are too rich" since this is impossible n1tro junkie: so are you carr's girlfriend daniela? Vespa Woman 777: thats half right n1tro junkie: oh shit you're jaime n1tro junkie: oh god carr's gonna kill me.... Vespa Woman 777: oh yeah, stephens a pimp. Vespa Woman 777: you didnt know that? n1tro junkie: he said you were a whore i thought he was just being an ass though Vespa Woman 777: Oh he wasn't lying, You might have seen me in all those pornos you watch. n1tro junkie: well im human, if your boyfriend keeps sending me videos im bound to watch a few of them n1tro junkie: which reminds me, what the hell is with him and horses? Vespa Woman 777: Well, he does have good taste. n1tro junkie: ah so you're into beastiality too i see n1tro junkie: im more a scat porn person myself but to each his own i guess Vespa Woman 777: Yep. n1tro junkie: wow you suck at this game Vespa Woman 777: I'm sorry, i really honestly don't know much about porn. It's hard to act like I do. n1tro junkie: sorry, would you rather change the topic to something easier for you, like kittens or small puppies? Vespa Woman 777: I'm not that dense. n1tro junkie: just checking n1tro junkie: theres really only two ways to check, and to do it the other way id have to poke you with a stick and i dont have a stick that long readily available Vespa Woman 777: Too bad. n1tro junkie: yea, those mile long sticks are hard to come by. Vespa Woman 777: And expensive too. n1tro junkie: meh, they arent too bad if you get one of those made in guatamala by children slave laborers n1tro junkie: they dont last as long though, only good for 2 or 3 pokings Vespa Woman 777: Yes, they don't have the same quality. n1tro junkie: hard to make quality sticks with only 7 fingers n1tro junkie: but thats really their fault, they should learn to widdle faster Vespa Woman 777: Those poor factory kids.... n1tro junkie: their fault for being born Vespa Woman 777: Well, it's not really our problem anyway...it's he government's! n1tro junkie: no, their problem is a shitty economy which is solved by child slave labor...vicious cycle but i need my pointy sticks and soccer balls to come from somewhere Vespa Woman 777: Not to mention ridiculously futuristic tenis shoes. n1tro junkie: yes, those 7 fingered guatamalan children do wonders for my hammer toes Vespa Woman 777: I'm particularly fond of the Nike Shocks....so many varieties n1tro junkie: why yes, because they make you jump higher....especially since everyone jumps off their heels instead of their toes Vespa Woman 777: Exactly, who doesn't need a pair of shows that make you was to be athletic....i know a few little fat kids who have shocks down on their christmas list Vespa Woman 777: shoes* Vespa Woman 777: want* n1tro junkie: you know what, i was going to respond to that but its really insulting so im going to pretend you didnt say that Vespa Woman 777: Oh really? I was told your a little skinny techie with glasses....i didn't think the discription of a fat kid would offend you Vespa Woman 777: So then, do you have shocks on your chirstmas list too? n1tro junkie: they dont cost enough to make it on my list Vespa Woman 777: I see and what are you asking Santa for this year little boy? n1tro junkie: besides hardcore pornography? Vespa Woman 777: Yes, besides that. n1tro junkie: nothing Vespa Woman 777: No yachts, condos, or cars? n1tro junkie: well im asking for 7 black, extraordinarily well-hung midgets but i didnt mention it because it sort of falls under the category of porn Vespa Woman 777: Hmm You must be making a heafty donation to the homeless shelter this year then huh? n1tro junkie: fuck the homeless Vespa Woman 777: At least they dont wear glasses... n1tro junkie: but they smell as bad as your boyfriend Vespa Woman 777: Dearest, If all the homeless people in the world smelt like my boyfriend, I would fuck them. n1tro junkie: im pretty sure thats how aids was started Vespa Woman 777: No, your confusing the homeless with Africans. n1tro junkie: so you got nailed by a bunch of africans and started aids? Vespa Woman 777: Nope, never been to Africa and most whores, like myself, have experience. They are careful to avoid potential aids carriers. Vespa Woman 777: Thats why we don't do techies n1tro junkie: hahahaha so i guess your bf hasnt gotten lucky yet Vespa Woman 777: He doesnt count, he's my pimp. n1tro junkie: damn he's pretty poor, how much do you cost for a night anyways? im not asking for myself though, i only have $5 on me and i dont like carrying spare change, otherwise i might ask you to show me a good time Vespa Woman 777: Agian, Stephen is my pimp. He get's everything on the house. Vespa Woman 777: I'm a ho with courtesy n1tro junkie: im talking about what you charge a regular customer n1tro junkie: cus i mean if you were making good cash i dont think he'd have to ask his grand mommy for some new ram for his super leet computer Vespa Woman 777: At least we dont wear glasses.... n1tro junkie: oh that hurt, im going to go cry myself to sleep now. especially since i choose to wear glasses and everything. Vespa Woman 777: At least we're smart enough to know glasses arn't cool. n1tro junkie: at least im smart enough to not give a damn what you think is cool Vespa Woman 777: Ooo, I'm sensing a little hostility here. Vespa Woman 777: Take a deep breath and count to ten. n1tro junkie: i've been making fun of you and your boyfriend all night, if you're just picking up on the hostility then you're pretty damn dense n1tro junkie: and i dont count to ten, i set 20 dollar bills on fire and watch them burn to nothing, then i feel better Vespa Woman 777: Have you tired taking a bubble bath, that usually works quite nicely. n1tro junkie: i only bath in money n1tro junkie: otherwise i shower myself in expensive champagne Vespa Woman 777: Have you any idea how dirty money is? You must be pretty grody after a couple weeks. n1tro junkie: and yet ill still smell better than your boyfriend Vespa Woman 777: I highly doubt that. n1tro junkie: i shouldnt be proud of that though, thats like beating a monkey at checkers Vespa Woman 777: Unless the monkeys a highly evolved-smell-good-Brad-Pitt sort of monkey n1tro junkie: whos hostile now Vespa Woman 777: Oh, I'm not hostile. Vespa Woman 777: I'm just thinking about how much im going to laugh when i see your picture in the CBC year book. n1tro junkie: yes, and then just think about the gigantic wad of 20s in my wallet Vespa Woman 777: And then i'll think of how such an ugly little fucktard like you could have all that money and then i'll remember it was all inheritance