Cult Icon Posted August 2, 2018 Share Posted August 2, 2018 In this thread we compose a joke or post a funny joke we've heard. Rules: 1. Be nice to Bzers but show no mercy otherwise. 2. Also, do not be a twit and claim unfunny. Everyone has a different sense of humor. Not all jokes work. 3. Try to make your own joke. It's fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 2, 2018 Author Share Posted August 2, 2018 What's the difference between a man's legs and a woman's legs? The same set of balls is always dangling between a man's legs.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 3, 2018 Author Share Posted August 3, 2018 You are so ugly that you could be the beginnings of a new species Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 5, 2018 Author Share Posted August 5, 2018 Erin Heatherton comes across as being a troubled woman I feel bad, but only because she's the most beautiful troubled woman in the world Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 5, 2018 Author Share Posted August 5, 2018 Let me show you the terrors of the earth... Have you seen a Chinese kitchen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 5, 2018 Author Share Posted August 5, 2018 The boyfriend is a feminine man They eat from the same salad bowl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 5, 2018 Author Share Posted August 5, 2018 They won't know real happiness until they give birth Then, it's too late Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
17 Moments of Spring Posted August 5, 2018 Share Posted August 5, 2018 Quote Watched the film Scarface last night. Quite a misleading title, I mean the bloke knew fuck all about scarfs. Quote Why is the North Korean dictator so evil? Because he has no Seoul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 5, 2018 Author Share Posted August 5, 2018 ^ haha Scarf-face. Scarface is an unintentionally funny movie to me because of the vicious script and how the characters are so over-the-top stupid and evil. "You're fifty. You got a bag for a belly. You got tits. You need a bra. They got hair on them..." "Her womb is soooo polluted I can't even make a f'cking little baby with her" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkjk Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away. Mitch Hedberg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkjk Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. Mitch Hedberg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkjk Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 I want to get a map and put pins in the places I've been. But first, I'll have to travel to the corners of the map so it'll stay up. Mitch Hedberg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkjk Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too. Mitch Hedberg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkjk Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that. Mitch Hedberg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
17 Moments of Spring Posted August 6, 2018 Share Posted August 6, 2018 Quote A student recognizes Einstein in a train and asks: Excuse me, professor, but does New York stop at this train? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 6, 2018 Author Share Posted August 6, 2018 Many people are skeptical about marriage of Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Pressley. They say, Lisa Marie is more of a sit at home type, while Michael Jackson is more of a homosexual pedophile. Norm Macdonald I always felt bad for Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa lived a whole life helping starving children and dying villages, but she could never be declared a saint 'cause she never actually performed a miracle. And it was towards the end, she was desperate to perform a miracle, so she would go up to starving children and go, 'What's that behind your ear? It's a quarter!' Gilbert Gottfried With Katrina, it's almost like the sequel that doesn't live up to the original. It's certainly a shocking event and a tragedy, but somehow as a big event it doesn't seem to carry as much weight with the public as 9/11 did. Gilbert Gottfried Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 6, 2018 Author Share Posted August 6, 2018 16 hours ago, jkjk said: The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall. Mitch Hedberg You seem to like self-depreciating humor. Here's a master of it: http://scomedy.com/quotes/Rodney-Dangerfield?search=&page=1 I was an ugly child. I got lost on the beach. I asked a cop if he could find my parents. He said, 'I don't know. There's lots of places for them to hide'. Rodney Dangerfield Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 8, 2018 Author Share Posted August 8, 2018 from the immortal HL Mencken: We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only to the sense and extent that we respect the idea that his wife is beautiful Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cult Icon Posted August 8, 2018 Author Share Posted August 8, 2018 @frenchkiki correct? Paris is like a whore, from a distance she seems ravishing, you can't wait to have her in your arms. Five minutes later you feel empty, disgusted with yourself. You feel tricked Henry Miller Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frenchkiki Posted August 8, 2018 Share Posted August 8, 2018 I guess it's true for any city in the world I adore Paris so I am maybe not the right person to answer this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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