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The Totally Spurious Victoria's Secret Thread


TheBaronOfFratton

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How are these subtle?

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 And here is a typical response to the incident:

 

Over the weekend, Kerr posted a response to Instagram, denying accusations that she had airbrushed the original Victoria's Secret photo: "Hi guys, here is the original VS image! When I re-posted the photo this week to support the girls I screen grabbed it off the internet when I was working in Japan. I had no idea it was photoshopped. All good intentions- sorry for the confusion and congratulations to the girls for such a great show!

 

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

CANDICE SWANEPOEL LANDS NEW LEAD ROLE IN MUSIC VIDEO

 

 

 

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Sexy South African Victoria's Secret Angel and top model Candice Swanepoel can now add a brand new title to her CV - that of ACTRESS! The beauty has apparently landed the plum role of the 'love interest' in the latest music video for Taylor Swift's I Knew You Were Trouble.

 

Candice, 25, will be pouting, back-arching, and being effortlessly sultry in the hot-to-drop vid - and even revealing that figure thats the envy of the world in her trademark Victoria's Secret lingerie. 

 

 

 

 

It's a long way from the Mooi River farm, where the notoriously shy Candice grew up - never knowing that her shy and sweet self would one day be the star in a music video!

 

"It's a serious, moody, piece," a made-up agent said. "Candice will be the focal point of the song and will be pouting and doing that back-arching thing a lot in a serious and moody place."

 

 

 

 

Candice, who grew up on a farm, was apparently 'thrilled' to get the role - beating out many top names, models and actresses, to pout yaddayadda on the stairway and occasionally walk up and down on it in a serious and moody way.

 

Taylor Swift, who will apparently have a small cameo in the vid, was said to be 'pleased' that the music-short was being taken very seriously and wasn't just going to be a series of models mucking about and lip-synching  to camera. "It's a serious song," another (or maybe the same?) made-up agent told us. "So it needs a serious amount of pouting and back-arching gravitas. It wouldn't do to cheapen the song by, I don't know, running down corridors or waking up on catwalks or inexplicably dancing about in a room full of bird's wings."

 

 

 

 

Candice also loves Brazil and speaks Portuguese.

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So I need to get this off my chest (which, you may very well assume is looking plumper than usual thanks to a VS two-cup push-up):

 

Victoria's Secret is so RACIST!

 

I mean, the whole Wild Things debacle was bad enough, then came Karlie's Thanksgiving but right now they didn't just cross the line, they catwalked all over it in classy 6'' heels.

 

I count a grand total of 0. ZERO. Zee Ee Ar Oh. French models in the Parisian nights runway section. It is a severe case of Frenchface and I cannot condone it. Like hasn't VS learned by now that only Black people can portray black culture, Natives native culture and French french culture? And that people don't like blondes (and yes, I know this is completely besides the point, but can this ever be pointed out too often? I think not.)

 

And then they added insult to injury by having them walk to the beat of a Molly Cyrus song. Like couldn't they use a song from France's vast repertoire like Edith Piaf's or Daft Punk's? No, they had to use that of a culture appropriating twerking tomboy with hypoglossal nerve deficiency. We don't even let people express their cultures in France!

 

And then there's the fact that this reinforces the Lido®-Moulin Rouge®-Crazy Horse® stereotype that Paris is full of sluts and French women put out all the time. They are even, get that, parading in lingerie! Get it right VS, since Sarkozy, the prostitutes have been relegated to the suburbs and the forests! French women have class and dignity. Nabilla Benattia is Swiss, not French, Goshdangit!

 

I will never, ever get back together watch the VS show ever again, now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BTW, does anybody know when it airs in France, I need to set up my Tivo.

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My mistake, she didn't look that French to me. FMD lists her ethnicity as "Italian/Congolese", so she's an import. I'd rather have that Jablonski girl (Constance? Jacqueline?). Such a French name, right?

 

And IKR? Next thing you know they'll have German people walking the show. Could you imagine?

 

Either way, I hope VS does the wise thing and edits everyone but Cindy out of that segment.

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My mistake, she didn't look that French to me. FMD lists her ethnicity as "Italian/Congolese", so she's an import. I'd rather have that Jablonski girl (Constance? Jacqueline?). Such a French name, right?

 

And IKR? Next thing you know they'll have German people walking the show. Could you imagine?

 

Either way, I hope VS does the wise thing and edits everyone but Cindy out of that segment.

EDIT: Nope. I'm not even going to bother.

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Wisdom of the day


Candice's Quotes


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"Vs is men friendly"


"You can't get panties off with the garter belt on. You have to unclip it first. Which is something I learned" (giggles)"


 


 


South Africa lost Mandela but they now have Candice to represent the country.


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


 


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