Jump to content
Bellazon

The "What Are You Thinking About Right Now?" PIP


Francesca

Recommended Posts

While I would never be flippant about a decision of that magnitude, if I were to have an abortion due to some horrible accidental pregnancy, I know for a fact it would not be a fun experience for a multitude of reasons. Still, I am also of the firm belief that if caught early enough it's just a cluster of cells. About as important as some egg yoke in me. It's not a a baby, especially since the neural system is not remotely complete within the first trimester and can't feel temperature changes, let alone pain; it doesn't have a brain. As for my partner, or seminal contributor lol, I (perhaps coldly or naively; not mutually exclusive) believe could not sway me to have one or not. Being almost obnoxiously pro-choice, if they don't have to carry it, they don't get a say. If it ends the relationship or marriage, that is unfortunate.

While the need/desire to pass on ones genetics may be strong, in my case, I cannot fathom it being strong enough to make me carry something I do not want to term. Not only do I not like children, and find pregnancy almost repulsive, the adoption system is saturated with children. I am also Hispanic, white children are more likely to get adopted, so my hypothetical child would have a hard time finding a stable family. I'd rather get rid of something that is basically a cluster of cells than have it be born and deal with a life that statistically speaking, would suck.

This isn't so say, that I won't have children or love them, but I know my aversions would not allow an unwanted pregnancy to turn wanted.

Sorry for the delay... :cry2:

This is a typical rationalization, which is common. I don't know you well enough to say. Are you, for instance, madly in love with him? That makes a difference. Because if you are, you will likely be fantasizing uncontrollably about having a baby with him while trying to keep the feeling down. Experiencing this craziness personally still haunts me a little, as I found myself 'losing it' too....

So I find it remarkable how many people have children on accident, are pro-choice, and when the decision time comes, they rationalize themselves away from their earlier inclination. Many were never pro-life to begin with (my mother definitely wasn't). Unplanned pregnancies probably rival planned ones. Quite a few of my peers have started families now, and given their age & their life plans...their first children (born in their early-mid 20s) were obviously unplanned. Almost nobody wants children that early.

A big potential driver in the decision is the financial readiness of the couple and contemporary ardor of the relationship. That was the case with mom. Most certainly, if both are in place, the likelihood of retaining the child is much greater. The biologically driven depression and fear of depression/regret is really powerful force from what I'm seen. That's my view on the matter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

While I would never be flippant about a decision of that magnitude, if I were to have an abortion due to some horrible accidental pregnancy, I know for a fact it would not be a fun experience for a multitude of reasons. Still, I am also of the firm belief that if caught early enough it's just a cluster of cells. About as important as some egg yoke in me. It's not a a baby, especially since the neural system is not remotely complete within the first trimester and can't feel temperature changes, let alone pain; it doesn't have a brain. As for my partner, or seminal contributor lol, I (perhaps coldly or naively; not mutually exclusive) believe could not sway me to have one or not. Being almost obnoxiously pro-choice, if they don't have to carry it, they don't get a say. If it ends the relationship or marriage, that is unfortunate.

While the need/desire to pass on ones genetics may be strong, in my case, I cannot fathom it being strong enough to make me carry something I do not want to term. Not only do I not like children, and find pregnancy almost repulsive, the adoption system is saturated with children. I am also Hispanic, white children are more likely to get adopted, so my hypothetical child would have a hard time finding a stable family. I'd rather get rid of something that is basically a cluster of cells than have it be born and deal with a life that statistically speaking, would suck.

This isn't so say, that I won't have children or love them, but I know my aversions would not allow an unwanted pregnancy to turn wanted.

Sorry for the delay... :cry2:

This is a typical rationalization, which is common. I don't know you well enough to say. Are you, for instance, madly in love with him? That makes a difference. Because if you are, you will likely be fantasizing uncontrollably about having a baby with him while trying to keep the feeling down. Experiencing this craziness personally still haunts me a little, as I found myself 'losing it' too....

So I find it remarkable how many people have children on accident, are pro-choice, and when the decision time comes, they rationalize themselves away from their earlier inclination. Many were never pro-life to begin with (my mother definitely wasn't). Unplanned pregnancies probably rival planned ones. Quite a few of my peers have started families now, and given their age & their life plans...their first children (born in their early-mid 20s) were obviously unplanned. Almost nobody wants children that early.

A big potential driver in the decision is the financial readiness of the couple and contemporary ardor of the relationship. That was the case with mom. Most certainly, if both are in place, the likelihood of retaining the child is much greater. The biologically driven depression and fear of depression/regret is really powerful force from what I'm seen. That's my view on the matter.

Well, seeing as I don't really believe in being "madly in love" with anyone, I don't know how that would work. :rofl:

Science has pretty much condensed love into a series of neurotransmitters, and while we consider ourselves a monogamous species, the intensity of these things fade away and what keeps people together are habit, memory, and to some degree, societal expectation (So I do see your comment about biological function having a pull on individuals; but I find myself cherry-picking what functions dictate my actions, or perhaps I naively believe I am. Who knows?). I do love people, in fact, I am currently in love with my significant other, but I am also very aware that humans are fickle, and if down the line I had an unwanted pregnancy, the colder parts of my cynical self would take over. At the end of the day, it's my body, and there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Also, I'd like to point out that this is a very personal concept of it, and I am by no means says that you are incorrect; there is no "correct." Not in this topic anyway. :hehe:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...