TheBaronOfFratton

Meh - it's already been done...

:shock: IMPOSTERERERS: http://www.bellazon.com/main/topic/51335-anything-about-barbara-palvin/?p=3324541 Why is there a need for that thread when we have this one? It's like my intellectual-property has been violated. I feel...sullied. Pistols at dawn, lyla, pistols at dawn...

Disclaimer: For earnest newcomers, the naïve, and the anal-retentives - this is what's called, in common parlance, a "roast". Don't fret... Oh, and accept no substitutes! What? Nobody said "it's showtime"?!?! Is this going to be a whole new VSFS experience? *We're a rocking, and we're a rolling* No, guess not. Same old shit. All these years, all these irritating "noises off" voices... *I got Behati* *Doutzen's in the house* Yeah, we know. We've all seen enough behind-the-scenes clips to tell you that you have them all because they are all in the same bloody space. There's the hair and make-up bit, and there's the costume bit. It's not a game of hide and seek. *I got Lindsay hiding under the table* *Yeah, Adriana's behind the curtain* *Karlie's standing in the corner with a lampshade on her head pretending to be a light* And then we're off. There's a lot of UK flags, oh look a Mini Cooper, the Queen's profile, a telephone box... Hey, while we're ramming this British point home how about we use some British music too? Maybe a mix of some quintessential bands: The Beatles maybe, Queen, The Who? Nah, let's get some forgettable generic college pop pap that has ZERO to do with it - that'll stick in their heads. But dress Taylor Swift up in a sub-par Spice Girl's dress. That's the spirit... Hey - did you know that Adam Levine is engaged to Behati Prinsloo? ... Well, I was going to go with 'douche', but if you want to use the 'c' word I guess that's OK ... Sure, we'll go with 'dick' then. I agree, they use 'douche' all the time with him, if you look the word up the dictionary after the feminine hygiene stuff there's a picture of him pulling a smarmy face ... Yeah, that dick anyway - how about EVERY TIME Behati appears onstage then we'll cut to him to remind everyone that they're together ... I think it's great idea too ... Sure, nobody will be annoyed with that. It's a radical new idea ... Oh, yeah, Anne V ... No, I don't think people will remember - it was a long time ago now ... Only 2? Oh ... Let's run with it anyway. It won't be tiresome and people will think it's cool that we've made the connection. Quick, look here she comes - and he's fist-pumping: What's with all this arse-slapping? Has that been sanctioned as a "thing" in this year's show? OK, so it's time for the annual Adriana-crosses-herself cutaway. 'Dear Lord, please make it so I can walk, pose, make a face and/or heart shape (or similar) and then walk back again. But please make so that when I do it it is the best thing ever and the fiercest, and that when anybody else does it it's not so good or they are just seen to be imitating me. Amen.' < Obviously she says this really fast. 'Ladies and Gentleman, this is Taylor Swift, and I'm your Chief Flight Attendant. On behalf of Captain Razek and the entire crew - welcome aboard. While we are here to ensure that you do have a comfortable trip with us today, we are also concerned about your safety. With that in mind, we ask that you take the Safety Information Card out of the seat pocket in front of you and follow along as Fall Out Boy perform our safety demonstration.' *We need Candice on this cross* Crucifixion for the saviour already? Ah, it's the 'Monica Mitro Bullshit Slot' - run VT... Yeah, 'what we look for in a girl is...', ' Humble humble humble'. YAWN... Right, 'Shipwrecked'. Maybe we can have some appropriate music this time. No? Oh, OK then... Things I've learnt about being shipwrecked: Only half of A Great Big World make it All Africans can start fires Providing you have an African with you and that's all taken care of, then you can go about your day making jewellery out of shark's teeth (v.important) Lots of corsetry will wash ashore in barrels Hey, here comes Behati: So NOW we're going into 'Shipwrecked'? I know it's all out of order VS, but watch the editing. And now, a quick word from our sponsors: And we're back. Some stuff about being the fit model - no VS, those are Behati's wings from 2009 not 2007; and no VS, that's Lily's outfit from 2010 not 2009. Really VS? 'Parisian Nights' - so this time can we have some relevant music? No, so we're going with a 'throw my toys out of the pram poor-little-me dirge from a scrawny multi-millionaire with lots of bleeped-out sweary bits because I'm like so cutting edge'? Sure, OK then. This section's good though - lots of unblurred ass, Joan looking killer. *Please stop atmosphere now* NOW? When we finally have some?!?! Did Behati need a pee? Right, some gubbins about Paris. Then... THEN - something BAD happened... You know it's bad when the music goes a bit sad and it's all black - yeah, subtle. What is it? Did someone die? [Accident Report: 254355. November 8 2012 2:40pm - Senior Fire Officer Jake Jingleballs] Yeah, we got the call in about 2:30 that afternoon. Some big shit going on at The Bowery downtown. I prepped the guys, told 'em 'look, it's bad down there, real bad, I want you to call your wives call your girlfriends, just tell 'em that you love 'em. OK?' I remember as we got nearer - the noise. I mean the smoke, the fumes, the drama. I'll never forget it. Of course that's when I saw the first responders... [Accident Report: 254355.i. November 8 2012 2:28pm - Paramedic Dirk Dangle] We were on the scene first, came straight there in the chopper. It was carnage. Girls were screaming. And there, in the middle, was... Well, I can't really explain it without getting too... Sorry. I need to compose myself. We see a lot of bad things in this job. But this one, well, this girl's foot... [Accident Report: 254355.ii. November 8 2012 4:14pm - ER Nurse Pamela Pancakes] Apparently it took the guys a long time to get her out of there. When she got to us it was touch and go if we could save it. I remember thinking 'this girl isn't going to be able to walk, pose, make a face and/or heart shape (or similar) and walk back again - not today, maybe not ever.' Then I had to snap out of it: 'not on my watch, Pammy, not on my watch'. [Accident Report: 254355.iii. November 8 2012 5:02pm - Doctor Vincent Vadge] I looked at her lying there. I knew I had to save it. Not just for me and my foolish doctoring pride, but for them, the people, the VSFS viewers. I knew that by this time next year that girl was going to WALK, She was going to walk godammit. and maybe even make a face and/or heart shape (or similar)... So there you have it. Her leg was saved. Her leg did fall off, didn't it? Meanwhile: Bird-themed music this time? Pretty please. YES - 'Phoenix'! I knew you were paying attention VS... Hmmm, try and look like you give a shit Erin. More predictable Izabel-showboating. More Joan looking sexy. Here comes Hilary: "Victoria's Secret make some noise" shouts one of Fall Out Boy - cut to model: Yeah, great editing once again. Or maybe Maria just wasn't listening? Right, well, it seems NOBODY can do a 'sexy look'! #FuckOffPINK "I like to post a balance between family work and charity" And that's why you're seen as the 'Super Fun Angel' Doutzen. "You can just go on Google and see my butt anyway" You sure can Candice. Sometimes even other people take them... Awww... It's nice to take the old folks out for the day isn't it? Look at them, joining in and having a jolly good time. Lily and Taylor are friends. Repeat. Here's your Adriana bit: 'Star of the show', 'She's back!', 'Queen of VS', 'Respect she deserves' etc etc - OK then, happy? <_< Behati had to go again? That's ten minutes later. Maybe she had the squits... She "made it" anyway. *SEND HER! SEND TAYLOR SWIFT!* Alright, calm down... 'Snow Angels' music? No, contractually obliged to have the song Taylor Swift's record company requested. Relevance be damned. 'Phoenix' proves to be merely a tenuous coincidence. Quick, here she comes again - remember to cut: POW! Don't forget: they're engaged. Taylor is right getting in the way and pointing at models as if she's telling a story. Look, Taylor and Lily are friends. REMEMBER? Oh, and here's the Magdalena finale - RUN FOR COVER!!! Usual finale stuff. Although what the hell is Cara doing? :notsure: Ah, so other half of Great Big World did survive. Pretty good going too, do fuck all all day and then come out at the end to schmooze with giddy models all on high after the show and jumping about in their underwear - good work fella, I salute you. Oh, and Big Russ is taking a photo. "Who can say no to Taylor Swift"? Well, I'm no expert Russ but isn't there a long old list of those who have done precisely that? Joe Jonas, Harry Styles, Jake Gyllenhaal...

More 'behind-the-scenes' shots from the VS Paris commercial, via Madoff Productions:

^Well I like me some 'community spirit' around here! 'Snow Angel' fittings shot, via 10 Magazine:

"Thinkers" weigh in...

Think you know what's best for Barbara Palvin? OF COURSE YOU DO - EVERYBODY DOES! I don't know about you, but I can't get enough of members discussing what's best for her based on a sliver of information on a daily basis. Personally I think it's a shame that there's only one thread to tell Barbara Palvin how to live her life, surely she deserves a sub-forum so we can lecture her about her career choices, personal style, use of multi-media and boyfriend choices. I mean Victoria's Secret didn't even choose her to walk the show this year - thus depriving us the opportunity to clutter up all their related-threads with what she's doing wrong/right at any given moment... Or what if you're fed up with people going on about things she supposedly does wrong - when YOU KNOW that she is 100% perfect and they're all wrong or jealous or something about haters... But - NEVER FEAR - because there's a new thread in town, and here we can put all her decisions under the incredible scrutiny they deserve. Here we can pore over the minutiae of Barbara Palvin's thought-processes and ridicule/praise her as she stumbles/boldly strides ahead in her life. How does she manage without us? Or can she manage perfectly well without us thank you very much - LEAVE HER ALONE! If you think everything she does is perfect - COME TELL US AD NAUSEUM HERE! If you think everything she does is wrong - EXACTLY THE SAME! And don't worry if you think you're above it, and tell everyone else how silly they are as she knows what she's doing and its all cool, without any trace of irony - THAT MAKES YOU EVEN BETTER QUALIFIED! "Let's move on" variations are welcomed too... And passive-aggressive posts about how much you appreciate the images members contribute to her thread! (Nice one ) For me, I think she needs to stand in the corner in some saucy lingerie and have a good long hard think about all the aggravation she causes Bellazon users by not acting exactly as they might all individually want 24 hours a day: Yeah, you better think good long and hard about all that, missy...

CANDICE SWANEPOEL LANDS NEW LEAD ROLE IN MUSIC VIDEO Sexy South African Victoria's Secret Angel and top model Candice Swanepoel can now add a brand new title to her CV - that of ACTRESS! The beauty has apparently landed the plum role of the 'love interest' in the latest music video for Taylor Swift's I Knew You Were Trouble. Candice, 25, will be pouting, back-arching, and being effortlessly sultry in the hot-to-drop vid - and even revealing that figure thats the envy of the world in her trademark Victoria's Secret lingerie. It's a long way from the Mooi River farm, where the notoriously shy Candice grew up - never knowing that her shy and sweet self would one day be the star in a music video! "It's a serious, moody, piece," a made-up agent said. "Candice will be the focal point of the song and will be pouting and doing that back-arching thing a lot in a serious and moody place." Candice, who grew up on a farm, was apparently 'thrilled' to get the role - beating out many top names, models and actresses, to pout yaddayadda on the stairway and occasionally walk up and down on it in a serious and moody way. Taylor Swift, who will apparently have a small cameo in the vid, was said to be 'pleased' that the music-short was being taken very seriously and wasn't just going to be a series of models mucking about and lip-synching to camera. "It's a serious song," another (or maybe the same?) made-up agent told us. "So it needs a serious amount of pouting and back-arching gravitas. It wouldn't do to cheapen the song by, I don't know, running down corridors or waking up on catwalks or inexplicably dancing about in a room full of bird's wings." Candice also loves Brazil and speaks Portuguese.

^I'm very happy they did this - it's a nice homage to Mr. McGann who never got a fair crack of the whip... But, yes, what can't benefit from a slice of some prime Roberts ham?

can't wait to see the results! ^Me too! That looks like a good combo. New browser VS:

New VS:

'Behind the Magic and Sparkle', behind-the-scenes photos from the Marks and Spencer advert, via their Facebook:

^Thanks for the videos... The 7Hollywood editorial - photographer: Ali Kavoussi, stylist: Taryn Shumway, Hair: Sasha Here, Make-up: Niki M'nray (source: tarynshumway.com).

^This shot is from a backstage set by Vanity Fair, shot by Justin Bishop. In proper quality (+ one more) here: Whilst these backstage ones are via The Coveteur:

Coverage of the event by Guest Of A Guest, backstage ones shot by Josh Wong:

^This one is by Kevin Tachman from a Vogue Daily slideshow 'Angels In Action'. Here it is in better quality (and with a second one with Behati): + Two more new from VS's Facebook:

:lost:

^You are certainly right about that! The annual Style.com backstage pictures by Tommy Ton:

^Just to add there's a promo video for this brand new issue (it's a little blink and miss mind!) - the Behati shoot is by Ali Kavoussi if you're interested...

^Ummm nearly half of those are in the post just above, plus mine are in better quality too! More HQs, via Vogue.com:

+ More of the 'After-Show' dress - via Zimbio:

Part 2:

Some may well be doubles (of various quality) I'm sure, but these are all the collated Getty HQs of the show+ Part 1: