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Little-known facts about Chuck Norris


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#1 Brenna

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Posted 03 March 2006 - 03:07 PM

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends had time to tell him there was a stripper in it.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin' 'bout.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.


Resources:
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com

http://reviews.ebay....000000000690883

#2 Brenna

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Posted 03 March 2006 - 03:11 PM

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

#3 Monkey

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Posted 03 March 2006 - 04:53 PM

Word.

#4 red_ed

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Posted 04 March 2006 - 06:04 AM

:blueeyedbaby: :laugh:


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props to yours_forever for the droolicious siggy

demonstrating teh powah


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#5 OriginalSin

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Posted 08 March 2006 - 02:33 PM

:dontgetit:

*backs away slowly from this thread*
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Please do not post information promoting yourself, for-profit sites, or your board, blog, website, band/group and etc. All advertising posts and threads will be deleted. ***Edited by MauiKane

#6 red_ed

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 02:52 AM

pffft :cain:


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props to yours_forever for the droolicious siggy

demonstrating teh powah


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#7 Avenger

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Posted 09 March 2006 - 09:53 AM

Best site on the net.


I wish there were more sites like this.

#8 Brenna

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Posted 10 March 2006 - 08:02 PM

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

Kenny G is allowed to live because Chuck Norris doesn't kill women.

Proponents of higher-order theories of consciousness argue that consciousness is explained by the relation between two levels of mental states in which a higher-order mental state takes another mental state. If you mention this to Chuck Norris, expect an explosive roundhouse kick to the face for spouting too much fancy-talk.

#9 Brenna

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Posted 10 March 2006 - 08:03 PM



#10 Scooter

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Posted 25 March 2006 - 09:30 PM

Best site on the net.

I wish there were more sites like this.


If you're a fan of 24 Avenger here are some Jack Bauer facts...

http://www.jackbauerfacts.net/
http://www.notrly.co...x.php?topthirty

Thanks Brenna for making people who are new to these facts get a good, well deserved laugh!

#11 Avenger

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Posted 03 April 2006 - 11:25 AM

Nice one Scooter, thanks!

#12 Monkey

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Posted 03 April 2006 - 03:43 PM

ACE.

#13 AnaBBarrosFan

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Posted 04 April 2006 - 01:51 PM

LOL! that crap is so funny...but seriously....what is the deal with Chuck Norris? So many people in my school say stupid shit about him all teh time like today:

Some girl and me in an argument:
Me: fuck off
the chick: u need to go fuck yourself.
The kid who loves talking about CN: No she can't. Only Chuck Norris can do that.

or

(watching a movie)
Me: Is that Chuck Norris?
That kid: No....How could you confuse him....thats illegal in 13 states u know....

(another one)
That kid: Chuck Norris can divide my zero.

I think that is so stupid. He sas crap about him all the damn time. It scares me.

QUEEN


#14 WeirdFan

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Posted 05 April 2006 - 07:16 AM

....i was so pissed when they canceled Inuyasha for that piece of crap *anime fangirl*....yeah chuck norris is a piece of shit!!!!!!
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#15 I LOVE ADRIANA

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Posted 13 April 2006 - 03:15 PM

More Chuck. :laugh;

chuck.jpg

Seriously, what's the deal with this guy? Everyone talks about him... :blink:
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Big thanks to Lady Fatale for my set!

#16 I LOVE ADRIANA

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Posted 13 April 2006 - 03:16 PM

BTW, I found that pic ^ on myspace when I had signed off. :laugh:
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Big thanks to Lady Fatale for my set!

#17 Kurupt

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Posted 14 April 2006 - 01:22 PM

:dontgetit:

*backs away slowly from this thread*

LOL :laugh: :o :whistle:
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#18 AnaBBarrosFan

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Posted 14 April 2006 - 10:12 PM

More Chuck. :laugh;

chuck.jpg

Seriously, what's the deal with this guy? Everyone talks about him... :blink:

I've noticed this too. its just wierd. everyone rants about him. its getting annoying though still slightly funny.

QUEEN


#19 SympathysSilhouette

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Posted 15 April 2006 - 12:30 AM


More Chuck. :laugh;

chuck.jpg

Seriously, what's the deal with this guy? Everyone talks about him... :blink:

I've noticed this too. its just wierd. everyone rants about him. its getting annoying though still slightly funny.


It's a fad. We had the same thing with Kevin Bacon and six degrees of Kevin Bacon a few years back. Everyone was playing that silly game then.

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#20 AnaBBarrosFan

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Posted 15 April 2006 - 05:59 PM

^ That sounds like a funny ass game, im gonna spread that game down here in Miami. watch.

QUEEN




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